I hear my phone ring from my purse that is sitting on the floor next to me. Reaching down, I pick it up and see that it's my mother again. I hit decline as I did when she called earlier and toss it back in my purse.
When I look up at Jase, he is giving me a questioning look, so I go ahead and answer his unspoken curiosity. "My mother."
By the time Mark arrives, I am ready for sleep. Having been at work this morning by six, I'm exhausted. As the guys get ready to leave, I ask Mark, "Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" I feel like I need to ask Mark most of the time instead of Jase because Jase will never tell me no.
"Of course not. I was going to go back home anyway. Thursdays are early days for me, so it's better if I'm not here," he explains.
As I nod my head, he gives me a long hug, knowing that something must be bothering me or I'd just go back to my house. When we pull apart, I catch a glimpse of Ryan over his shoulder, and he is watching me with a curious look on his face. He's probably wondering why I have a key to Jase's place and why I'm sleeping here tonight. I'm sure it must look weird to him, but for me, this is my normal.
Throwing an extra set of clothes into my bag, along with a few toiletries, I go to my closet and grab my black hiking boots. It's another chilly and misty grey day, but that is nothing new for this time of year, and it doesn't stop people from being outdoors either. The plan is to hit a few of the trails before hiking up to Tolmie Peak. Afterwards, we are going to hang out at Mark's house for pizza and beer.
Today feels a little strange for me. I haven't gone out like this since this past summer. But, it also feels nice, and it is keeping my mind busy and focused. I've been warming up to Ryan as well. He blends nicely with Jase, Mark, and I. Last night, Ryan ended up hanging out with us over at Jase's. We just laid low and watched a series of 'Ridiculousness' reruns on MTV. It felt nice to laugh like that. I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed so much. Last night, even if it was just for a moment, I felt a little normal—and it felt good.
When I pull into Mark's driveway, all three guys are tossing their shoes and backpacks into the back of Mark's white Range Rover. I grab my bags, step out of the car, and lock it before walking over to Mark.
"Hey, Candace," he says as he pulls me in for a hug.
"Hey, here's my backpack," I say, and I hand it to him to put in the car. Holding up my other bag, which has an extra set of clothes and toiletries, I say, "I'm just going to run this inside and leave it in your room."
"Sounds good."
Saying 'hi' to Jase and Ryan, I walk inside the house to drop my bag in Mark's room so that I can shower and change when we get back. When I make my way into the kitchen, I run into Ryan.
"Hey," I say as he is pulling out several bottles of water. "Can you grab me one of those?"
"Yeah, here you go," he says as he walks over and hands me one.
"Thanks."
"No problem. So, are you ready?"
"Yep. I haven't been out to Rainier since this past summer," I say and then I open my water and take a sip.
"I didn't know you liked to hike."
"I like most things athletic, although the majority of that is inside the confines of the ballet studio. I mainly just run the trails there, but I've been hiking a few times as well."
Picking up the waters, he says, "You're a runner too? I'm impressed," while walking towards the door. I walk over and open the door for him when he says, "You should come running with Mark and I sometime. We've been going early Tuesday mornings before hitting the gym."
We walk out, and Ryan tosses the waters into the car. I still haven't responded when he questions, "What do you think?"
I look down before looking back at him. "I haven't been out running in a while. I'd probably just slow you guys down. It was always something I did alone anyway."
Jase comes up to me, puts his arm around my shoulder, and asks, "What do you do alone? Besides everything."
I elbow him gently in the ribs and smile as I walk around the car and hop in the back seat. "I'm ready to go," I teasingly announce before closing the door and putting on my seatbelt.
Ryan gets in the front with Mark, and Jase slides in next to me. For most of the two-hour drive, the guys talk amongst themselves as I doze in and out of sleep. I have been spending a lot of overtime in the studio, and last night I was there pretty late, so I didn't get much rest.
When my body suddenly jerks out of a restless sleep, and I gasp in a loud breath, all eyes turn to me, but Ryan's are the only ones filled with questions. Mark turns around and starts talking to Ryan to take the attention off of me while Jase undoes his seatbelt and slides up next to me, wrapping his arm around my neck. Resting my head on his shoulder, he whispers in my ear, "You okay?"
I nod my head, close my eyes, and concentrate on my breathing. I feel embarrassed, and attempt to force out the thoughts that are creeping through my head. I just want to have fun today. I need to have fun today. For the remainder of the drive, I sit in the comfort of Jase's arms.
When we get to the turnoff, we have to drive about twenty minutes on a pot-holed gravel road to get to the Wonderland Trail that will lead us to Tolmie Peak. When we finally arrive and park the car, Mark opens the hatch, and I sit on the bumper while I tie up my hiking boots. It is lightly raining, and I pop the hood on my raincoat up and over my head. This time of year, the lower trails can become extremely muddy with the increase in rain. Ryan hands me an extra bottle of water to throw into my backpack before I sling it onto my back and wait for everyone else.
Once the guys are ready, we start making our way over to the trailhead. Mark told me the hike should be around four hours. The terrain isn't too difficult to navigate as we start on the trail. We are all keeping a pretty decent pace and Mark is talking about the last show they played at Ryan's bar. I have never been to Blur. Jase has invited me a few times to go watch the band play, but has never pushed too hard.
A couple hours into our hike, the clouds open and it begins to rain. As we continue to trek on, the ground becomes marshy beneath our feet. I start to fall behind a little, but I yell to Jase to keep going and I'll catch up. I pull the hood on my jacket further over my head, so I don't realize that Ryan has stayed back until I almost pass him. Stopping, I look up at him, and he doesn't have his hood over his head. Rain is dripping off the ends of his hair, and it reminds me of the first night he came into the coffee shop with his rain soaked hair.
"You don't have to hang back. You can hike on ahead."
"Don't worry about it," he says as we continue to make out way through the trail. "I would hate for you to fall and hurt yourself and nobody be around."
Turning to look at him, I give him a grin and say, "Thanks."
"This shit's freezing."
I start laughing and agree with him. The rain is really cold.
After about a half hour, the rain finally lets up, and at this point, I am soaked from head to toe. I stop for a moment, take the hair tie that is around my wrist, and pull up my stringy wet hair on top of my head. Ryan walks closer to me. Laughing, he swipes his hand across my cheek, and the gesture makes me a little uncomfortable, until I see the brown mud on his fingers, and I laugh with him.