Perhaps he would never be a father, a husband, but maybe he could enjoy the life he had. Heidi’s fathers had spoken of going on with life after losing their woman. Once Durchenko was dead and buried, Javier could return to a normal life, a job that occupied his time, a woman warm and willing to share his bed. Some woman who, like Heidi, would accept his needs. With no mate, no siblings, he wouldn’t need to ever reveal his true self.
He did not wish to replace his Isabela; that was not something that could ever be done. But now he realized that if he were to continue living after he’d dispatched Durchenko, he could not do it alone.
He was no rogue. He had loved. Perhaps he’d never love anyone the way he had his mate, but lying here, wrapped in Heidi’s warmth, he knew if he had to live out his life alone, without the softness of a woman’s body, of a woman’s heart, there would be no point in breathing.
Heidi slowly pulled away from his mouth and, resting her forearms on his chest, gazed down at him with those beautiful eyes. “You’re hard again.”
“I am.” He cupped her ample, lovely ass cheeks in his hands and pressed her against him. “And you are very wet.”
She grinned and dipped her head but brought her gaze right back to his. “You make me that way.
Just a kiss from you and...” With a little shake of her head, she laughed. “You’re different from anyone I’ve known.”
“Because I am the only shifter you have met you are not related to?”
“No. Yes, that’s true. But no, that’s not the reason.” She skimmed her fingers over his chin and down his neck. “You’re very handsome.”
“There are no handsome men in all of Leavenworth?”
She laughed, and the sweet sound made him smile.
“You are also very large, very muscular...” She ran her hand over his shoulder and squeezed, “...and have a sexy accent.”
He smirked. “Please. Continue.”
“You also aren’t afraid of...” Her smile faded, and she swallowed hard. With a slight shrug, she said, “My family intimidates most men.”
“You think they do not intimidate me?” He touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
Her brow wrinkled. “But you faced down Axel without so much as a flinch.”
A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest, and he pushed her wild mane over her shoulder. “Ah, chata, I am injured. If Axel, or even the smallest of your brothers wished to tangle with me, I fear I would lose. That does not mean I will willingly submit or dare admit to them that I am unable to stand against a fight. I would fight to the death even knowing the outcome would not be in my favor. It is our way. And you, silly woman, should never have tried to come between us. You could get yourself hurt doing that.”
She tweaked his nipple, hard, making him jump and grab her wrist. “Don’t you call me silly. Axel’s my brother. He wouldn’t have hurt me. You two were facing off like a couple of tomcats fighting over a dead fish.”
Surely someone brought up in that household would understand the hierarchy. Understand why he refused to accept Axel as his alpha, when he was one in his own right.
Then again, perhaps not. “Did your brothers ever fight for dominance?”
Still scowling at him, she pressed her lips together in thought. “They used to fight a lot when they were younger. And last year there were some fights when Beth came into the family, but that was because she could have outted us.”
“I do not understand what you mean by ‘outted.’”
“She’s a geneticist specializing in big cat research.”
Javier’s lips parted in surprise.
“Yeah. It was pretty tense for a while, but she came through, saved Sindre’s life and hid the truth of the family.”
“That is how you found out I was not just a jaguar.”
“Right. Any big cat blood she can get her hands on, she has to run through her computer. Your chromosomes came back like my brothers’, not like a jaguar’s—or any other cat.”
“I am lucky I was shot in your town.”
“Yes, very lucky.” She placed a soft kiss on his jaw. “But you’re not hard anymore.”
“Perhaps you should do something about that,” he suggested, suddenly feeling very fortunate indeed. Her inner muscles fluttered around his cock, and he sighed. “You are a very sexy woman, Heidi Falke.”
She nibbled his earlobe. “Touch me, Javier. Touch me and say my name again in that sexy accent.”
He cupped her ass in his hands and pressed her down, grinding her clit against his pubic bone. She gasped. “Heidi,” he whispered, kissing her cheek. “Heidi.” He kissed her neck. “Heidi.” He sucked her flesh between his teeth and nipped, the odd urge to bite down harder, to mark her, nudging at him.
No.
He would never mate again.
He resisted by moving back to her mouth and kissing her. His cock surged to fullness when her moans filled his ears, and she gripped his neck while thrusting her hips against him.
“Ohhh... Javier....”
Cast be damned, he rolled with her, pinning her beneath him. He gripped her thighs and jerked them up against his sides so he could take her more fully.
She cried out and dug her nails into his shoulders at the same time wrapping her legs around his waist.
“You will take more.” He bit at the fragrant, tender flesh of her shoulder, the side of her neck.
“Yes... More...”
He slammed into her. The bed knocked against the wall. She circled her hips as if trying to get even more of him.
Madre de Dios. She was perfect. He fucked her as he’d never fucked another woman. Hard, deep, watching her face for signs of pain, of discomfort. But when her eyes squeezed tight, her mouth opened on an almost silent scream and her cunt muscles pulsed around him, he knew he pleased her.
“Again,” he demanded the instant her body began to relax from the climax. “Again.” Reaching beneath her, he grabbed her ass in one hand and squeezed.
“I...can’t... Oh...God....”
He pressed his middle finger against her anus.
“Javier! What are you—” He drove into her fast, their flesh slapping, sweat slicking their bodies. “You will come again, Heidi.” He pressed his finger past the tight ring of muscle into her ass.
Heidi bucked beneath him, and she screamed, every muscle in her body tightening with the force of the climax. Her cunt squeezed him, and he shouted. He saw stars dance around beautiful Heidi’s face.
Blood roared in his ears. Still he drove into her, harder, faster, pumping his finger into her ass.
“Please,” she screamed.
“Again!”
On a harsh sob, she thrust against him, seemingly out of control, but her pussy contracted and she gasped. Tears streamed from her eyes to her hair, and she gripped his shoulders until her body went lax beneath him, her chest rising and falling, her heart thudding against his chest.
Madre de Dios, she would kill him before he was healed enough to leave.
Chapter Nine
Javier’s stomach tightened, his instincts buzzing that something was very, very wrong as he nudged the door open with the toe of his boot. Another smell hit him then. Rank, rancid. Some kind of animal, but nothing he’d ever scented before.
Silence from within the house. He pushed the door open farther. Damn, he wished he had his sidearm on him. Isabela didn’t like weapons in the house, and only Juan was allowed to wear one home, since he was with the police department.
The scent of death grew stronger as Javier carefully made his way through the house, keeping walls to his back, checking each room he passed. That scent, urine, he now realized, nearly gagged him. It seemed to cover the furniture.