A bloody paw print in the hallway. Not his brother’s. Too small, the pads too round.
What the fuck?
Their bedroom door was open, and the sight that greeted him made him turn away as he gagged.
Javier, he heard his brother say through their telepathic connection.
He jerked back and dashed into the room, falling to his knees on the floor next to Juan, desperately trying to not look at the bloodied, tortured body of his wife on the bed. His brother was in his cat, and blood pooled on the floor from deep eviscerating wounds in his stomach.
“Who did this?” His eyes stinging, his stomach unsettled, Javier wanted to help his brother, but it was too late. Too much blood loss. His brother’s entrails... He laid a hand on Juan’s neck, digging his fingers into his fur to feel for a heartbeat. It was slow, too slow and thready. His brother, his twin, was dying.
Lev Ivanovich Durchenko, Juan said, the telepathic words weak. Our wife, our children... I failed to protect them... His brother sobbed and gasped for air. Kill the shifter bastard... Kill him slowly...
“Juan. Juan,” Javier shouted, desperately seeking a pulse in Juan’s throat with both hands, but it was too late. His brother exhaled his last breath, and his eyes stared into nothingness.
Agony such as Javier had never known descended on him. A long, tortured cry ripped from his throat as he laid his forehead against his brother’s furry cheek.
Heidi was just pulling on her skirt over her shower-dampened skin when she heard Javier shout. She jerked open the bathroom door to see him on the bed, gripping a pillow to his chest, sobbing as he cried out for someone named Juan.
Rushing to the bed, she laid her hand against his arm. His muscles were coiled tight, his chest heaving with his sobs.
“Javier.” She shook his arm. “Wake up.”
With a shout, he surged into a seated position, staring at her with crazed, pain-filled eyes spilling over with tears. Her heart pinched as she touched his damp cheek.
“Hey. It’s okay. You’re safe.”
He swallowed loudly and swiped the back of his hand over his eyes. When he looked at her again, his expression was closed, all signs of weakness gone. “You are leaving,” he said, looking her up and down.
“I’m hungry and figured you would be too when you woke up. I was just going to run out for some sandwiches and drinks.” She laid her hand over the arm still gripping the pillow to his chest.
He glanced down, seemed to realize he was hugging the pillow and tossed it away. Staring across the room toward the window, he said, “Thank you. Yes. I am hungry.”
“Javier...”
He shook his head. “Not this moment, chata. Please.” He swallowed again. “I cannot.”
“Okay.” Heidi stood and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”
He nodded but refused to glance at her.
Her heart aching for him, she grabbed the key card off the top of the television and slipped on her sandals. “Soda okay to drink?”
“I am not particular. Water would be good.”
“Okay.” Quietly, she slipped out of the room and checked to make sure the door closed tightly behind her.
She wanted to know his story, wished to God he’d open up to her. From the little he’d shared with Axel last night, she knew he somehow lost his mate and brother. She could only assume that Isabela was his wife and Juan was his brother. However they died must have been traumatic to elicit such horrendous nightmares that someone as strong as he seemed would shed tears.
She couldn’t remember ever seeing any of her brothers cry except for when they lost their mother.
Heidi wished she were still alive. She could really use some motherly advice right about now. There was a huge heart buried under that big, muscular chest of Javier’s, and Heidi feared she would never be able to get through to him.
His wounds ran deep, and some scars not even a vet could heal.
Regardless of his past heartaches, or the dangers of caring too much for a patient, she suspected she was falling for him even though she knew how foolish that would be. He’d sworn to Axel that as soon as he was physically able, he would leave Leavenworth. A promise from one alpha to another. Not for a second did she doubt the sincerity of his word.
The drive from the hotel to Subway wasn’t long. She probably should have walked it and given herself time to think more about the smartness of going back to Javier’s hotel room and spending the night with him. Part of her wanted to stay—a huge part of her—because she knew there was no way she’d ever find another man that made her feel the way he did. The sexual chemistry was so amazing it scared her.
But so too did his vulnerable side, the part of him he tried so hard to hide. He’d been hurt, but his alpha nature demanded he show no weakness. That had to be why he refused to open up about his past.
And she had to accept the fact that there could be no future with him as long as he clung to the past, regardless of how sexually well-suited they were.
“Oh my god!” She gasped, bypassing the sandwich shop and heading to the mini mart another half mile down the road. She’d had unprotected sex with a shifter. She had no way of knowing if they were biologically compatible enough to produce children together, but there was a chance with him...unlike her previous human lovers.
She’d never had to worry too much about the risk of pregnancy before, but Javier was no average human male. How could she have forgotten that even for a second?
She ran into the store straight to the condom aisle and grabbed a box. A wave of emotion hit her, and she had to stop and drag in a deep breath when her eyes threatened to tear up. Her hand settled over her abdomen, and she imagined a baby, two, three. Babies with Javier’s eyes and her hair, his dark skin.
She grew up knowing she’d never be a mom. Her mother had done her best to present the facts gently. In all their family’s history, there’d only been one female shifter who produced offspring.
She’d married a distant cousin of hers, another shifter. It was the only way then and now. But as rare as female shifters were, lone males were not exactly easy to locate either. And after her ancestors had fled to the New World, the odds of finding any outside one’s own family was impossible, or so it had seemed. There had been no other shifters known to them for a couple generations. As far as they’d known, the Falkes were the only shifters left in the world. Until Javier.
Heidi stared at the box of condoms in her hand.
What if they were compatible?
She could have children with him.
But he was leaving.
She didn’t need a man to raise kids. She lived with her dads, and they’d welcome more grandchildren no matter how they came to be. They’d love more babies in the house. They never wanted Dakota to take the triplets home.
She set the box of condoms back on the shelf but couldn’t stop staring at it. Could she do that to Javier? With his brother and mate both dead, Javier might never become a father. What if she was the only female with shifter blood in the world? She might be his only chance too. Did he want children?
She couldn’t answer that question, only he could, and he wasn’t even ready to answer all of the other questions she had about him, his past...
He was leaving.
Could she let him impregnate her and never tell him?
No. She couldn’t. It wasn’t fair. No matter how much the thought of being a mom made her want to throw caution to the four winds, she couldn’t deceive Javier.
They might be each other’s only chance at parenthood, but that must be a decision made together, openly, willingly and without deception.