“Maddy, please talk to me. I’m not mad at you, I promise. I really need you to tell me what’s going on, though.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“If this is about Chris, I can handle it. Just, please don’t shut me out. I’m here for you. All you need to do is let me in.”
“It isn’t about him.” This time my problems have nothing to do with Chris. I can’t believe I am about to tell him this. I’m shaking all over and a wave of nausea hits me. “The first foster home I went to, my foster father abused me.” I take a shaky breath, not sure how to even say the next part. “He used to…come into my room at night and make me touch him when he was hard. He used to tell me that once I got a little bit older, he couldn’t wait to play with me. It started to get more frequent and I started to get really scared. I told my teacher at school, and they called the state. He denied it, but they relocated me immediately. When things started to get too intense with us, I went back to that place.” He doesn’t say anything. I probably disgust him now. “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I know I’m damaged goods and that it is a lot to deal with.”
“Where do you get this stuff? You know what? Don’t answer that. I already know.” I can hear the contempt and hatred in his voice and I know he is referencing Chris. His hand gently strokes my cheek as he grabs my chin and makes me look at him. “Chris is a sad excuse for a man. None of that was your fault. You were a victim. If you want me to stay with you tonight, nothing would make me happier.”
“I do.”
“Thank God, because I really didn’t want to sleep on the couch while you were in here.” He kisses the top of my head. ;”What time should I set my alarm for tomorrow?”
“Um…I need to put the turkey in the oven at six, but then I figured I’d go back to sleep for a couple of hours.”
“Okay, it’s set. Goodnight, Maddy.”
“Goodnight, Carter.”
I love you.
Chapter Fifteen
Carter
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. Jesus, it was three in the morning. What the hell was I doing up?
“No, stop, please!”
I look next to me and Maddy is thrashing around with a pained look on her face. Shit, she is having a nightmare. Somehow, she ended up on the other side of the bed. I pull her over to me and rub her arm. “Hey, Maddy, wake up.”
“No, please, don’t hurt him!” Who the hell is she talking about? “Chris, please, just leave him alone!” Her voice is shaking and she sounds scared.
She can’t even escape that asshole in her sleep. Even hearing his name at this point is enough to make me want to punch something. I shake her again. “Maddy, please open your eyes. It’s just a dream.” Her eyes fly open and she looks around, frantically trying to get her bearings. When she realizes where she is, she buries her face in my chest and starts crying. I just hold her, because I know right now that it’s what she needs. She needs someone to care, and she needs to feel safe. When she finally stops crying, she looks up at me. “Maddy, what was your dream about?”
“I…uh…I don’t remember.”
I know she is lying, but I also don’t want to push her. “Okay, well, do you want to try and go back to sleep? It’s still really early.” She nods her head and then closes her eyes. I hold her tight, hoping I can protect her from whatever she doesn’t want to tell me. I know it has something to do with Chris. She is scared of him. I need to make her understand that I can keep her safe. I feel like he is the only thing standing between us right now, and it is driving me crazy.
When my alarm starts ringing, I turn it off and stare down at Maddy. She is still asleep in my arms. I wish I could wake up with her every morning, because it feels fucking fantastic. As much as I don’t want to, I have to wake her up.
I rub her back gently. She stretches and looks up at me. The minute she meets my eyes, she smiles and I can’t help myself. I lower my head and give her a kiss. She pulls back right away and covers her mouth. She takes her hand off her mouth, looks at me and laughs. What is so funny?
“Morning breath.”
“I don’t care what kind of breath you have.” I kissed her once more. “Now, come on, we have a turkey to cook.”
I follow her into the kitchen and stand there being useless while she preps the turkey and puts it in the oven. I love how comfortable she is here. When it was in the oven, she looked up at me; I got caught staring at her this time.
“Did you wanna go lie down again?” She yawns as she stretches her arms above her head.
“That’s up to you. Either way, I’m fine.”
She cocks her head to the side, looking at me in confusion. “What do you mean?”
I pull her against me and hold her close. “Well, if we go back to bed, I get to hold you like this. If we stay up, we can watch TV and I’m pretty sure I’ll get to hold you then too. So, you see, I win either way.”
She tilts her head up toward me. “Oh really, and what makes you so confident?”
“I’m not confident, just hopeful.” She gives me one of those smiles that makes me want to kill anyone who has ever hurt her and made her cry. She doesn’t smile nearly enough, but I am going to change that.
“What if I had a way to give you the best of both worlds? We could go in your room and watch TV. That way, you can hold me and we can still stay up together.”
I scoop her up and start walking to my room. She starts to laugh, then covers her mouth. I drop her off at the bathroom so she can brush her teeth, but once she comes out, I pick her up again. I carry her to my room and throw her on the bed. She giggles and looks up at me.
The sight of her lying across my bed is something I never want to forget. “I guess I should follow your lead and go brush my teeth. I’ll be right back. Why don’t you find something for us to watch?”
When I get back in the room, she is watching some old re-runs of “I Love Lucy.” I never really watched this show, but she says she loves it. We stay in bed for a couple hours. Then my stomach growls so loud, I swear she jumps. She looks at me and we both start to laugh. “I guess my stomach wants to eat.”
“Can I make breakfast for everyone?”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, everyone will probably be hungry when they wake up. Your dad was so great to let me come and stay here. I just want to do something nice.”
“You know you’re cooking a huge dinner tonight, right?”
“We are cooking a huge dinner tonight. I’ve never been in this kind of a family environment, though, and I just thought it would be nice for us all to have breakfast together. It’s no big deal if you don’t want to.”
I lean over and give her a quick kiss. “I know you don’t know it, but you’re perfect.” I can see that telltale blush creeping up her cheeks again. I love that I have that effect on her. My stomach growls. “Come on. Let’s go make breakfast before he gets angry.”
Maddy made pancakes and bacon. I handled the very important job of making the coffee. My dad and Anthony came strolling out just before it was done. They walk over and sit down at the table while I get us all coffee, and Maddy makes everyone a plate.
When she handed my dad his plate, he looked at her and said, “I didn’t know I had pancake mix in there.”
She laughed. “You didn’t, but that’s what Carter wanted, so I made them from scratch.”
Everyone starts eating and Anthony looks up from his plate with a mouth full of food. “She’s hot and she can cook? If you don’t marry her, I will, Carter!” Then he winks at Maddy and starts eating again.
We all start laughing and then my dad adds, “I second that.”
When she is done eating, she starts cleaning up and goes to work starting things for dinner. I walk up behind her at the sink and lower my mouth to her ear. “I can clean up since you cooked.” I feel her tremble beneath me and I love that she is affected by me.