When she sits down in English, she winces like she’s been hurt and I wonder what it’s about. I know that Chris has a reputation of getting rough with people and I heard a friend of mine saying he hit one of his sister’s friends. I need to catch her outside and talk to her.
I am packed up and ready to leave five minutes before the bell rings. I need to catch Maddy and talk to her. The professor dismisses us and I race out the door. I want to be waiting for her. I see her leave and step up beside her. “I need to talk to you.” The look on her face is unreadable, but she seems sad.
“Why? I thought I pretty much said everything I needed to this morning.”
Ouch. “Five minutes?”
“Okay…” she hesitates, “what?”
How do I even ask this? “Are you okay? You seemed upset when you walked in. I saw you when you sat down and you seemed like you were in pain. Did something happen? “
I can see in her eyes that something is wrong. “Carter, I’m fine, but I need to go now.” I let her go, but I have this nagging feeling that something is wrong.
* * *
Maddy stays away from me for the next couple of months. Every time I try to get close to her, she will run or duck into one of the classrooms. I have tried to go out and have fun with my friends, but I can’t shake this feeling. Even the guys notice that something is up with me. I don’t understand why I can’t get her out of my system.
“Carter, listen, we get that you like this girl, but it’s like November; time to move on.” Shawn is looking at me, but he just doesn’t get it.
None of us were really the relationship kind. We went out, had a good time and sometimes went home with girls, but it had never been with someone long-term. The first day I met Maddy, she was smiling and had that adorable sundress on. But after that, all she wore were jeans and long sleeves, even when it was warm out. I had a feeling that asshole was hurting her, but she wouldn’t talk to me. I know I’m jumping to conclusions and that I probably sound crazy but I know in my gut that I’m right.
“Listen, I get what you’re saying, but I know something isn’t right and I’m not gonna give up on her. I know you guys don’t get it, but I’ve never felt this connection with any girl I’ve met. She’s been ignoring me for almost two months, but I still find myself looking for her everywhere. I find excuses to talk to her in class. You know me and I’m not one to chase girls, but even that one day of being around her changed that. She’s different and I feel different whenever I’m around her, even when she’s ignoring me.”
Jason laughs at me. “Carter, you just met this girl! You don’t even know her that well. Maybe you just need to get laid and get her out of your system.”
That is what I would’ve done before, but it isn’t going to work this time. I’ve tried to forget Maddy. I went home with girls, but I just wasn’t interested.
I don’t know how to explain it to them, but in the couple hours I spent with Maddy, she got to me. I’ve never met a girl like her, and I don’t want to let her go. I have a feeling that she wants me too, but something is holding her back.
Chapter Five
Madison
Carter is killing me. I’m worried that he knows what is going on. I don’t know how, but he does. I am getting so tired of having to run and hide from him.
Things with Chris haven’t been any better, either. He gets mad about every little thing. If it isn’t the clothes I wear, it is the fact that I am looking at all the football players when he takes me to the game. I am forced to wear long clothes, even if it is hot outside, so no one can see the bruises. Sometimes, I think about leaving him but, the truth is, I am scared of what he’d do.
It is like he has this switch in him that just flips and a whole different person takes over. If I am being honest, that person scares the hell out of me.
I’m sitting in English class right now, trying my best not to look over at Carter, even though I can feel his eyes on me. The professor is talking about a project that will be due before Thanksgiving break and that we’ll be working in pairs.
My only thought is please don’t put me with him. God can’t be that cruel. He tells us to pair off and everything happens so fast. Everybody is scrambling to get into their pairs and I am looking around for someone to ask.
I see a guy coming up to me and I know he is going to ask me. But before he reaches me, he gets this fearful look on his face and asks the girl two rows over.
I glance behind me and Carter is standing there. He looks down at me and gives me that smile. Kill...me...now.
Our professor goes on to talk about the details of the assignment. We have to do a study on the student body at the university. We need to come up with questions to ask, do surveys, and turn that into a ten page paper and a presentation. Carter couldn’t have possibly looked more pleased with himself.
My stomach drops. Chris is going to flip out. He didn’t believe me when I told him I never talk to Carter anymore. He hit me last week because he said I was looking at him when we were eating lunch, even though I wasn’t. He’ll never believe me when I tell him I didn’t choose to partner with Carter.
“Well, we have two weeks before this is due so when do you want to get started and plan it out?” The project is due right before Thanksgiving break, not that I’d be doing anything other than sitting in my dorm during break. “If you want to come over tonight, I don’t have work.”
Come over? As in to his house? Oh, hell no! I get hit if I glance at a guy, there’s no telling what Chris would do if he found out I was at Carter’s house. Not only that, but with the way Carter makes me feel, us being alone at his house is a horrible idea. What can I say to him? Sorry, I can’t come over to your house because I’m extremely attracted to you and I don’t trust myself? Sorry, I can’t come over because my boyfriend is extremely jealous and will flip his shit?
“Okay, that sounds great!” Did I really just say that? What the hell am I thinking? I look up at Carter and he is smiling at me in the way that made it hard to breathe.
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then. Do you want to give me your number so I can text you the address?”
My number? Oh, he thinks I’m one of those normal college students and that I have a cell phone. “Sorry, I don’t have a phone.” To say he looks shocked would be an understatement.
A cell phone required not only money, but people that you want to talk to and I had neither. Well, maybe I had one person that I want to talk to, but that is a bad idea.
“Um…okay. Well, here then.” He pulls out a piece of paper and scribbles his address on it.
“Okay…I’ll see you tonight.” A tinge of nervousness mixed with excitement runs through me.
Chris is waiting for me when I walk out of English and as soon as Carter comes out behind me, Chris’ expression hardens. I know I am in for it but, at this point, it can’t get any worse.
Carter looks at Chris, smiles, then looks at me. “See you tonight, Maddy.”
Shit, just got worse. My whole body tenses and I feel like I am going to be sick. I can literally feel the anger radiating off of Chris. Carter doesn’t know what he is doing. He thinks it is all a game, but he has no idea.
I am used to the drill by now. Chris takes me to my room and locks the door. I turn so my back is to him and brace myself for what I know is coming. He comes up behind me and starts kissing my neck. What is he doing? I hear him undoing his belt. The sound makes every hair on my body stand on its end. I hope he doesn’t think I am ready to have sex right now. I don’t know if I ever will be. That is when I feel his belt slap against my side. I fall to the floor from the impact.