“Thank you for tonight, Carter. I’ll see you in class.”
The door shuts and my determination to make her mine is stronger than ever.
Chapter Seven
Madison
When Carter kissed me tonight, I did something I’d said I’d never do again-I let someone in. I didn’t want to and it scares me, but it was inevitable. I wish everything happened differently. I wish Chris didn’t want me and that I could be free to be with Carter.
Chris has been getting especially paranoid lately, telling me that I can never leave him. If I did, he’d find me and he’d make sure that me and whoever I left him for would pay. I can’t bring Carter into this.
I walk down to the bathroom to get ready for bed, trying to push thoughts of Carter out of my mind. Nicole is watching me when I come back, and I lay down, trying to pretend that she isn’t. I feel like she can see through all of my bullshit.
“So, Carter James, huh? I’m glad you finally came to your senses and told that abusive asshole to take a hike.”
What did she just say? Shock runs through me as my spine stiffens. No one knew. This can’t be happening. “What are you talking about? Carter and I are just friends.”
“Listen, girl, I went to high school with Carter. He isn’t ‘just friends’ with girls. And he sure as hell never walked a girl to her door, unless he was going in. Even then, he’d leave once they were done. Don’t fool yourself. That boy likes you and if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Sure, Carter kissed me, but I’m sure he’s with a lot of girls. He probably assumed by me coming over to his house that he was going to get some. Chris is right. He just sees me as one of his whores. I feel a tear roll down my face. Why the hell am I crying when Carter and I weren’t even together?
“As for Chris, you need to get out while you can. I know you think you hide it well and you do, but I live here and I see everything. I don’t know why you’re with him when he does that to you and treats you the way he does. You may not think you deserve better, but you do. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
She lies down and starts reading her book again. How would she know I deserve better? I barely ever talk to her. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I am looking forward to spending time with Carter on this project, even though with my luck, he is probably only trying to use me. Why the hell would Carter James want anything from me? Chris is probably right, he just wants to use me and then throw me away. No matter how much I try to convince myself of this, though, there’s still a little part of me hoping that he wants something more.
“Hey, Mads?”
There goes another nickname and, truthfully, I don’t mind that one either. “Yeah?”
“Just so you know, if you’re not ready to make a decision yet, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Chris, what he doesn’t know won’t piss him off. So do what you want.”
Nicole may have just given me the best, and the worst, advice ever.
* * *
When I walk into class Friday morning, there was an open seat next to Carter so I decided to sit down next to him. He looks over at me like he is confused and surprised at the same time. Shit, did he not want me to sit here? I am contemplating moving seats when he gives me one of those smiles and I know I made the right choice.
If I am going to do this, I have to do it before I chicken out. I rip a piece of notebook paper out and scribble a note down on it.
Remember how you said you worked as a spy? I enjoyed our night together the other night and I like being around you. I’d like to do it more often, if you can keep it a secret.
I debate whether or not to give it to him. I pass it to Carter the way I used to watch all the girls do it in high school.
He opens it cautiously, then smiles before writing something back, handing it to me. I open it up and exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Are you suggesting that we sneak around? Cause if you are, I’m in.
When I read his reply, I smile so hard that my face hurts. When I turn to look at Carter, I can tell that he’s been watching me and I feel the blush he always causes creep up my neck.
When class is over, he waits for me and we walk to our next one together. “So, why the sudden change of heart?”
“I don’t know. I like talking to you and I had fun the other night. However, Chris doesn’t want me hanging out with you, and I thought that what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Or me. “But only if that’s okay with you, and I understand if it isn’t.”
“Hey, listen, I’ll take what I can get here.”
I smile as he accepts my offer.
Things just might be turning around.
Chapter Eight
Carter
The fact that Maddy wants to spend time with me, even if it is in secret, makes me so happy. I love being able to be around her and I have a feeling she feels the same. I don’t understand why she doesn’t just leave him if she isn’t happy. I still have a feeling that he is doing something shady. Maybe if we get close enough, she’ll tell me.
We talk and joke around all morning, but split up at lunchtime because she is meeting Chris. When I walk into my afternoon class, I see her roommate. I think her name is Nicole. Actually, I think she went to high school with me, but was a year behind me.
I hope she isn’t telling Maddy about my high school days. I am not exactly proud of them. She looks up, sees me, and waves me over to the empty seat next to her.
“So listen, I just wanted to-”
Just then the professor decided to start class, which cut off whatever she was trying to tell me.
She passes me a note and her cell phone with it. When I look at her phone, I see that it is open to the contacts and my name with the number slot blank. She is trying to get my number? I thought she was calling me over to talk about Maddy. I start to hand her back the stuff and she shakes her head and mouths, “Read the note.”
I need to talk to you about Mads. Put your number in.
I put my number in her phone, then call mine so I can save hers, before giving it back to her. Not even a minute later, my phone starts to buzz.
Nicole: First, conceited much? I don’t have any interest in you. Second, don’t give up on her. She will come around ;-)
Me: What do you mean?
Nicole: Mads, whether she wants to admit it or not, she’sstarting to fall for you. I can tell.
Me: But what about Chris?
Nicole: Don’t get me started on that asshole.
Me: What’s going on? I know something isn’t right.
Nicole: Sorry, not my story to tell. Now, let me learn something!
Was Maddy really falling for me? And what did Nicole know about Chris?
* * *
Getting out of bed after working all night is difficult, to say the least. I think the only thing that got me up is knowing that I am going to spend the whole day with Maddy.
We are going to be handing out our surveys today, and then coming back here to tally them up. She asks if I want to go to the library, but I shoot that idea down. I want her here with me.