I didn’t want to forget.
It had been hard the past few months to find myself as a teacher again. Part of me had wanted to fall back on old habits and create a distance between myself and the kids. There was always supposed to be some distance anyway, but it was hard not to care about them, and in the end I decided if I stopped caring about them, I’d stop being a good teacher.
It hadn’t started out as the best year, but the past few months had begun to make up for that. One way in which they had was the permanent job offer I received from the department here at Braemuir. I’d be returning as a fully qualified English teacher after the summer. It was one less thing to worry about.
I had thought I would feel relief that the year was over and that I had the summer to enjoy before it started all over again.
But standing there in my classroom that last day, I couldn’t stop staring at Jarrod’s desk.
Sometimes it still made my breath catch when I remembered that I wouldn’t see him next year, that he wouldn’t get to grow up and become the amazing man I knew he could have been.
I hadn’t realized how hard the last day of school was going to be with that hanging over me.
“Knock, knock.”
My gaze jerked away from the desk and my eyes widened in surprised pleasure, my mood instantly lifting at the sight of Marco and Dylan walking into my classroom.
“What are you two doing here?” I asked, grinning happily as Dylan’s steps quickened. He reached me and instantly slid his arms around my legs. I hugged him close as Marco bent down to give me a quick, sweet kiss on the lips.
“I thought maybe you’d want some company. Not an easy day for you, babe.”
I shook my head in wonder. How had he known when even I hadn’t known? “I love you,” I murmured.
“I love you, too.”
I looked down at Dylan to see him watching us. I scrunched my nose up at him. “Guess what?”
“What?” he returned, genuinely curious.
“I love you, too.”
He smiled shyly and ducked his head.
So cute, I could die.
“Dylan, what do you say?” Marco chucked his chin.
Dylan shrugged. “Hannah knows I lu huh.” His words became a mumble, but I got the gist.
I gave Marco a look. “He’s four and he’s uncomfortable saying ‘I love you.’ I already pity his future girlfriends.”
Marco laughed. “He’s a man. He has a hard time showing his feelings.”
“You’re a man and you don’t have a hard time showing your feelings.”
“In public I do.”
“You just said you loved me in front of Dylan.”
“It’s just Dylan.”
“So you’re telling me that when we get married you’re not going to say you love me in your wedding vows?”
“You don’t say ‘I love you’ in wedding vows.”
“You do if you write your own.” I was completely messing with him and it was worth it to see the flicker of panic in his eyes.
“Write my own… vows?” His grip on Dylan’s shoulders tightened.
“Mmm-hmm.”
“You want me to write my own vows?”
I turned my mouth down at the corners as I shrugged. “Well, I might let you off with it, if you actually get around to proposing sometime.”
The light dawned in his eyes. “You manipulative —”
I grabbed my purse off my chair, ready to leave. “Finish that sentence and I won’t say yes.”
“I never asked,” he argued, ushering Dylan out behind me.
“But you’re going to.” I glanced back at Dylan. “Your daddy is a slowcoach.”
Marco looked at his son for help, but Dylan just looked at him with this “Really, dude” expression that made me love him even more.
“Are you sure he’s not my child?” I joked.
“Sometimes I wonder,” Marco muttered.
From school we got a cab back to my place so I could change for the evening’s event. It was Lily’s fifth birthday, and Gio and Gabby had generously offered the restaurant as a place to host it, closing off the back room for our private party.
Outside the restaurant we bumped into Cole and his new girlfriend, Larissa. She was a quiet, pretty auburn-haired psychology student who was clearly one hundred times more madly in love with Cole than he was with her.
“D-Man,” Cole greeted Dylan first. The two of them bumped fists, the brightness in Dylan’s eyes the only indication that he was thrilled to see Cole. While it had taken a few months for Marco to come around to Cole, his son had latched on to my best friend within a matter of hours after meeting him. They shared an overall seriousness that put them beyond their years and had a seemingly innate understanding of each other.
“What d’ye get?” Dylan gestured to the wrapped gift in Cole’s hand.
“Girlie stuff. You?” He indicated the present Dylan was carrying for us.
He scrunched up his nose. “Girlie stuff.”
Cole patted him on the back of the head and pulled open the door to the restaurant. “I hear you.”
“Hi, Larissa,” I greeted her with a coaxing smile.
In return I received a pinched smile. I couldn’t quite work out if it was because she was shy or because she, like most of Cole’s girlfriends so far, resented my presence in his life. I was sure it was the latter.
Marco and I held back as the three of them walked inside.
“She hates me,” I grumbled.
“You’re hot and Cole loves you. Of course she hates you.” Marco tugged on my hand, pulling me inside.
“Well, thanks for that very comforting and concise summary of the situation.”
He gave me a wry half smile as we walked through the front dining room and into the hall to reach the back. “She’ll get over it. That better?”
“No, because now you’re lying.”
He looked up at the ceiling as if talking to God. “I can’t win.”
“He’s not listening.”
He cut me a dry look. “Obviously.”
“Oh, shut it. You love me and you know it.”
“You kill me with your sweetness, babe.”
“Ah, there you are!” Liv came hurrying forward as we entered the back dining room. Pink and purple decorations had literally exploded all over the room. There were balloons, ribbons, flower chains, and sparkly confetti everywhere. Liv gave me a quick hug and grinned up at Marco in greeting. “Your aunt and uncle are amazing to do this. I think I’ve thanked them so much they’re ready to kill me.”
“It’s no problem.” Marco shrugged. “You’re family.”
Her eyes bugged out at me and she whispered comically, “I’m family.”
I patted her shoulder. “They’re not the Mafia, Liv. Calm down.”
“Nanna!”
My nephew William came flying at me, dangerously unsteady with momentum. I grabbed him before he made hard impact with my legs. As soon as I lifted him into my arms, Beth, Lily, and Luke were at my side. I greeted them all before bending down to kiss Lily’s silky dark hair. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
She smiled shyly and leaned into my leg.
Surrounded by the kids, I watched happily as we appeared to magnetically draw everyone else to us. Jo and Cam came over to say hello, Cam holding little Bella in his arms. Holding Bray in his, Adam came over with Ellie, who scooped William from my arms to hers. Joss and Braden sauntered over to join the pack and were quickly crowded in by Mum, Dad, Mick, Dee, Cole, Dylan, Larissa, Declan, Penny, Nate’s mum and dad, and Gio and Gabby.
Chatter sparked off all around me as I leaned against Marco, my hand resting lightly on Dylan’s head, and I didn’t feel overwhelmed.
I felt content.
I felt at peace.
I had just taken a wolflike bite of birthday cake when Gabby approached me. She smiled and I quickly tried to swallow the delicious sponge cake and buttercream icing so I could return the gesture.