I’d done what I could to misdirect their attention. There was a reason that Anne wasn’t in court today, and in fact wasn’t in the War Rooms at all—I’d subtly nudged things so that the bulk of the attention would fall on me. I’d vehemently denied the gating-Vihaela charge, forcing them to focus on it. So far it was working, but I’d spent sleepless nights imagining one nightmare scenario after another. None of them had happened . . . yet.
The argument at the Senior Council table was still going. Sal Sarque looked angry, and it wasn’t hard to guess why. At last Alma held up her hand, and Sarque fell silent, glowering. Alma glanced towards the bench and the coroner walked over immediately. He listened as Alma spoke, then nodded and returned to his chair.
“All rise,” the bench clerk instructed.
I stood. Over to my side, Barrayar and Solace did the same.
“The full verdict of this court will be contingent on the conclusions delivered in the official report,” the coroner said. “However, the preliminary finding is that while various irregularities have been brought to light, there is insufficient evidence to issue an indictment against any of the inquiry subjects for breach of the Concord or any other capital offence. As such, pending the official report, no further action will be taken. This court is adjourned.”
Murmurs spread throughout the courtroom as conversations started up. At the back, the three Senior Council members rose to their feet and left through a private door. From his body language, I could tell Sal Sarque was pissed off, and Solace didn’t look happy either. Barrayar looked calm as always, and as I watched he picked up his notes, tapped them to the table to bring them in line, and left.
A couple of mages came to speak to me; one was a Keeper from the Order of the Star, the other a member of the bureaucracy whom I vaguely knew. They said various polite nothings and I responded in kind. There was a dark humour to it. When I’d walked into the courtroom this morning, no one had been willing to even meet my eyes. Now that the verdict was in, all of a sudden I was a person again. I ended the conversation as soon as I could, and walked over to the Keeper who hadn’t come over.
Caldera glanced up as I approached, then looked back down at her papers. She’s a woman of forty or so with a round face, red cheeks, and a heavyset build with arms thick enough for a nightclub bouncer. She’s a journeyman Keeper of the Order of the Star, and she’s been a journeyman for a very long time. It’s not because she’s bad at her job, or at least not at what her job’s supposed to be. But when it comes to climbing the Council hierarchy, it’s not what you do, it’s who you know. I’d joined the Keepers only a few years ago, and in that time I’d gone from Caldera’s subordinate, to the same rank, to being promoted way over her head. Caldera had never brought up the subject, but I was pretty sure she resented it, and it wasn’t the only grudge she was holding.
“You didn’t give evidence,” I said to Caldera.
“Wasn’t called.”
“I guess they thought your report was so thorough there wasn’t anything to add?”
Caldera shrugged.
I sighed. “How long are we going to keep doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“For two and a half years now you haven’t said a single word to me except when I ask you a question or the job demands it. It’s getting ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
“Can you maybe look at me when we’re talking?”
Caldera finally raised her eyes. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“Well, I wanted to talk about that fight we had at Canary Wharf, but it’s pretty clear that’s never going to happen, so I’ve written that off as a bad job. Right now I’m just shooting for basic communication.”
“About?”
“How about the inquiry we just had? You have a problem with what I did? Are you pissed that I left you with Solace and Barrayar? Do you not care? What?”
Caldera shrugged.
“You don’t care?”
“You ran and left us holding the bag,” Caldera said. “Same as usual.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Way I remember it, pretty much every time I’ve fought with you, I end up getting the shit kicked out of me while you stay way back out of reach.”
I bit back an angry reply. What Caldera was saying was both true and blatantly unfair, given that she’s an earth mage who can literally shrug off bullets. “So is this it?” I said. “This is how all our conversations are going to go? You avoid me until I corner you, then you make passive-aggressive comments until I go away?”
Caldera studied me. “Where did you really go after that fight, Alex?”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb,” Caldera said. “I know a bullshit story when I hear one.”
“It wasn’t bullshit.”
“Oh? You were telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”
“No one in this room was telling the truth,” I said. “You think this inquiry was commissioned because they wanted to know what happened? You think Barrayar and Solace were just being honest? It pisses me off the way you do this. They’ve been doing this shit for years, manipulating the system to try to get me, but when I play the same game back, oh, that’s terrible.”
“Yeah, well, maybe if you were a little straighter, you wouldn’t have to play games at all,” Caldera said. “I’m done going to bat for you. You want to keep trying to prove how you’re smarter than everyone else, you go right ahead.”
“You know what?” I said. “Screw you and your self-righteousness. I’ve been trying to make things up with you for years and you’ve brushed me off every time. Levistus and Barrayar and their team of psychopaths chased us literally to the other side of the world all for the sake of a grudge, and when that didn’t work, they planted bombs in Luna’s flat. You didn’t do shit to stop them, but hey, better blame me, right? Because otherwise you might have to admit to yourself that the guys you’re working for are just as bad as the ones you arrest every day.”
I turned on my heel and left before Caldera could answer. I could feel people watching me as I headed for the door, and that pissed me off further. I was tired of the looks, tired of the silent judgements, and tired of the Council in general. I left the court resisting the urge to bang the door behind me.
I took a roundabout route out of the War Rooms to give myself time to cool off. Walking gave me time to think, and as I did I realised why Caldera’s words had made me so angry. While Caldera has her flaws, she’s honest, and back when we’d worked together, we’d always been straight with each other. Nowadays I couldn’t do that. Dealing with the Council, I had to lie and evade all the damn time, and it was making me wonder if I was turning into the sort of person I’d always tried to avoid.
I ran into Sonder at the far side of the conservatory. He was talking to Captain Rain, an officer in the Order of the Star and my old boss. “. . . shouldn’t need you on Tuesday, but this one’s urgent,” Rain was saying. “We need it ASAP.”
“I’m snowed under with timesight cases that people want ASAP,” Sonder said. “I’ll try, but no promises.”
Rain nodded. “Whatever you can.” He glanced in my direction. “I’d better be going.” He gave me a nod and left.
Sonder turned in the direction Rain had and saw me. He didn’t look pleased but he didn’t run away. “Hey,” I said as I walked up.
“Hey.”
“Anything on our request for a scan of that facility?”
Sonder shook his head. “I just don’t have the hours. Maybe in a week or so, but . . .”