But I needed to work off some steam.
I’d seen Jax on the field today, training the incoming lacrosse team, looking sweaty and angry and sexy, but when I’d finished my day, his car was already gone from the parking lot. It was stupid to want to cry over something so silly, but I was in knots.
He was ignoring me.
He could be busy or worried about his father, except he’d found time to come to practice but no time to call or shoot me a text?
Little shit.
I grunted, the anger fueling my muscles.
All three of us, including Fallon, were lined up side by side, doing step-ups as if the devil were chasing us, on the wooden staircase at the Mines of Spain.
My heart pounded like a mammoth beast stomping across my chest, and sweat drenched my stomach, face, and back.
And my ears! My fucking ears were sweating.
“I hate you both,” I gasped, jamming up the step with my left, my right, and then back down. Again and again and again and …
Fuck!
“Come on,” Fallon bellowed. “Faster! It’s good for the ass!”
“My ass likes BodyPump!” I roared, my legs shaking more each second. “In an air-conditioned room with music and fans and a smoothie bar nearby!”
“Don’t be a pussy!” Fallon’s temple dripped with sweat.
“Keep going.” Tate held the stopwatch. “Just one more minute!”
“Oh, God,” I groaned, gritting my teeth. “Nachos and truffles and ice cream, oh, my. Nachos and truffles and ice cream, oh, my.”
“What are you doing?” Tate demanded.
I swallowed through the dryness in my thick mouth. “It’s what I say when the going gets tough at the gym,” I breathed out. “It’s motivation. Nachos and truffles and ice cream, oh, my! Nachos and—”
“Truffles and ice cream, oh, my!” they joined in as we all simultaneously picked up pace. “Nachos and truffles and ice cream, oh, my! Nachos and truffles and ice cream, oh, my! Nachos and—”
“And we’re done!” Tate exclaimed, cutting us off and smiling through her exhaustion.
Everyone collapsed, relief washing over our tired bodies as our heads bobbed with each breath.
I was too tired to move. Too tired not to move. My legs bent up and then straightened, uncomfortable. My chest ached with the heavy exertion, and I leaned back on my elbows, finding myself getting nauseated, so I leaned back up again and over my knees, trying to get my heart to calm down.
I was out of shape. Note to self: Need to do more cardio.
We all sucked down the rest of our water, and I was glad they’d told me to tuck a hand towel into the back of my shorts. There was sweat everywhere, so I wiped off my stomach—bare in its sports bra—and my face, arms, and legs.
“So, do Jared and Jax have any idea where their father is?” Fallon threw her towel down and grabbed her water again, looking at Tate and then me.
“I’m sure if anyone has any idea it’s Jax?” Tate spoke up and then glanced at me.
I shrugged, feeling a little lost. Jax was tough when it came to his father. He didn’t tell me much, but I soothed myself with the fact that he and his brother probably didn’t tell anyone much of anything.
“You know I’ve never agreed with my father’s business,” Fallon started, talking with her hands, “but this is one instance when Jax should’ve just let him take care of it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She pinned me with serious eyes. “My father offered to deal with him. Jax said no.”
“Deal with him?” Tate repeated. “As in …?”
“As in,” Fallon inched out, “set him up with a new pair of cement shoes and go for a walk at the bottom of Lake Michigan.”
My eyes bugged out.
By the way she’d confided, I knew it embarrassed her a little. Now I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to meet her father.
“Jesus,” Tate mumbled, leaning back on her hands and looking to the ground.
“Well”—I cleared my throat—“I’m glad Jax said no, then.”
“Are you?” Fallon looked at me, amused. “Chickens always come home to roost, and your boyfriend is always one step ahead of everyone else.” She picked up her towel and threw it over her shoulder, looking at me pointedly. “He doesn’t disagree with what my father wants to do, Juliet. He simply wants to do it himself.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon doing a great job of distracting myself. I completed my lesson plans for the last week of tutoring and then went swimming in Madoc’s pool with him, Fallon, Tate, and Jared. They ordered pizza for dinner, but I excused myself to do laundry.
I needed to leave.
Even though Fallon and Madoc were welcoming, we weren’t close. At least not yet. I felt as though I was freeloading, a piece of furniture that kept getting shuffled around.
Shane’s parents might welcome me, but I’d feel the same there. I had little money, nowhere to live, and no real options that I liked, but it had to happen.
I needed a job, like yesterday, and then I’d see about finding someone who needed a roommate or had a room to rent. I had enough money to get me started, but I’d need a job to keep me going.
I hadn’t felt as though I was floundering when I stayed at Tate’s—or Jax’s—but now the reality of everything that had happened in the past few weeks brought me to a sudden halt. I’d lost my college tuition, my mother, who even though she was a demon with an updo, was still there to catch me as far as providing the basics, and I’d lost my carefully planned future.
I was starting over.
I wasn’t unhappy, but I was scared shitless. No one was taking care of me anymore.
I lugged a wash basket full of clean clothes into Fallon’s old room and saw the light blinking on my phone that sat on the bed.
Racing to it, I frowned, seeing a missed call from Shane instead of Jax.
But then I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, mentally kicking myself.
Dialing her back, I didn’t even let her say hello. “Dude, I’m sorry I forgot to call you. Shit. Don’t be mad, okay?”
She was leaving for California, and we were supposed to spend time together.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” She laughed. “Really. But I am leaving tomorrow, and I want to see you tonight.”
“Okay,” I blurted out, thankful she wasn’t yelling over my forgetfulness. “Well, I’m stuck at Madoc and Fallon’s house with no ride and no license, so you’ll have to come and get me.”
“Wait … you’re not at Jax’s party?”
My face fell instantly.
Jax’s party?
I lowered myself to the bed, my heart slowly creeping up my throat.
“Excuse me?” I breathed out, narrowing my eyes to keep my voice steady.
“Jax is having a party tonight,” she stated, her tone serious. “It started an hour ago, and I was just about to head over, but I wanted to call to make sure you were there already.”
I shook my head, breathing in and out as slowly as I could manage. “Yeah, yeah.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I forgot about it,” I lied. “Everything is slipping my mind lately. I’ll meet you there, okay?”
“But you can’t drive!” she yelled, but I hung up.
I jetted out of the room and down the stairs, bypassing mirrors for the first time in my life. After the pool, I’d changed into some cutoff jean shorts and a cute tank top, but my hair still hung wet from my shower, and I had on no makeup.
“Madoc?” I called, grabbing his keys off the counter. “I’m taking your car. I’ll be back in a while.”
“What!” I heard him yell from the patio where they were all still eating and playing.
But I was out the door before he even made it into the house.
Once on the highway, I cruised like a pro. It was only my third time driving a stick, and while my transitioning from gear to gear was still rough, I held it together damn well.
I wasn’t really thinking about the driving. Or the car.
There could be a million and one reasons why Jax had been distant the past twenty-four hours. Reasons I would understand and be mellow about. I was agreeable, after all, and I’d played it his way.