“Get out of here, you dirty old man!” I said more loudly, and I could see a young couple in the corner looking at us with big eyes and awkward smiles. Ugh! I was so annoyed that I grabbed my coffee and left the store. I was mad at myself for having gone along with Liv’s idea. It was stupid and I didn’t even think that Aiden would care if he thought I’d been on a date. On what sort of date would I be going out looking like a hooker, but making it home before 8 p.m.? Only a lame date, and what was there to be jealous of if the date sucked?
I got into my car and drove home feeling bummed. I turned on the radio and smiled as I heard “I’m Not the Only One” playing. I sang along with Sam Smith and tried to keep my mind off of how much my life was sucking. I wasn’t sure why I was so bad in relationships. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t approach Aiden and just be normal. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t just flirt and be honest. I think it had to do with my childhood, which seemed to be everyone’s story.
My father had left my mother and me when I was two. I couldn’t really even remember him, if I was honest. My mother had remarried when I was four and my stepfather had adopted me. He even treated me as if I were his kid, and I loved him and called him dad. However, I always wondered about my real dad. I hadn’t seen him since I was two. When he’d left, he’d never looked back. It hadn’t really hit me until I was fifteen. When I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to find him, so I looked him up online and was able to locate him. I’d called him and found out that he had a new family and two more children. He’d said he was going to call me back and we would go to dinner. He never called, but I didn’t give up. I called him back and he said he’d have me over for Sunday lunch to meet the family. He’d said to call him back in a few days to get the address. I’d called and the number had been disconnected and I’d never heard from him again. I hadn’t tried to make contact with him again either. I knew that deep inside of me there was pain that emanated from my father’s rejection, but I tried not to dwell on it. Instead, I tried to look at the bright side of life, the fun side of life. I tried to be goofy and to laugh and to just ignore the things that made me feel bad. However, now it wasn’t so easy.
My heart felt heavy as I pulled into a parking space and turned the ignition off. I think that being in a situation where you think you love someone and they don’t love you is most probably one of the hardest things in life. While I still had hope (for what are we without hope?), I didn’t necessarily think I had a good shot, no matter how much Liv tried to convince us both otherwise. Part of me felt like a fool with all the plans and tricks. I didn’t think they would work on Aiden. Not given our history. I didn’t think they would work, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still going to try. Aiden had been a part of my heart since I could remember. He most probably didn’t even know how much he meant to me. He most probably didn’t realize that he was the reason why my heart had healed after my father’s rejection.
***
“I’m back from my date,” I squealed as I opened the door to the apartment, with a wide fake smile on my face. “He got me roses,” I called out giddily. If I was going to lie, I might as well play it up. Silence met my lies, and I frowned as I hurried through the corridor to the living room. “Liv?” I said in a confused voice, surprised that she wasn’t responding as planned. “Liv,” I said again as I entered the living room.
“She’s gone out,” Aiden said smoothly with a short smile from the couch. He was sitting there stiffly with an amused look on his face. “She asked me to wait as she had tried to call and text you, but you weren’t picking up.”
“Oh?” I frowned and looked at my phone. “I don’t have any missed calls.” I made a face and checked the screen again.
“I was there as she called you.” He shrugged and I sighed.
“I bet my service went out again.” I shook my head. “I’m going to change carriers, I’m so fed up of this crap. I’m always missing calls.”
“I thought maybe you were just ignoring her because of your hot date,” he said as he glanced at me curiously. My face was red with shame as I looked away from him. “So where are they, then?”
“Where are what?” I frowned as I looked back at him.
“The roses?”
“The roses?” I repeated dumbly, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. Me and my big mouth had remembered to pretend my date had given me flowers, but I’d forgotten to buy them at the grocery store on the way home.
“That your date gave you. What was his name again?”
“His name?” I squeaked.
“Yes, his name.” Aiden frowned. “Or you don’t want to tell me?”
“I, uh …” I swallowed hard, my mind going blank.
“Were you out with Scott?”
“Scott?” I made a face. “No, of course not.”
“Henry?”
“Henry, Xander’s brother?” I asked in surprise.
“Yes, the one and only. The guy you were flirting with all day at flag football.”
“I was not flirting with him.” I rolled my eyes and made a face at him.
“Don’t tell me you plan to slip into his bed as well.”
“How rude!” My jaw dropped. “I can’t believe that you would say that.” I peered into his azure blue eyes, and I could see remorse in his gaze.
“That was a low blow,” he said finally. “Sorry.”
“Yeah.” I stood there awkwardly. This was not going as planned at all. “Why are you still here?” I said curiously. “Liv is gone.”
“She figured we could still watch the movie together when you got in.”
“But you didn’t know when I’d be back.”
“I was willing to wait,” he said simply, and my stomach started flittering.
“Oh?” My heart jumped.
“Yeah, I wanted to watch this movie, and Elizabeth doesn’t do horror movies.”
“Oh,” I said and this time my heart dropped.
“I thought Liv and I would watch it, but you’ll do as well.”
“Oh, wow, how flattering.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll do, huh?”
“Yeah, you’ll do.” He laughed. “You going to sit or do you want to change first?”
“Change?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I caught him checking out my long expanse of leg.
“Yeah, change.” He raised an eyebrow back at me. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself otherwise.”
“Oh.” I blushed, but all I was thinking inside was, You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself.
“That’s an interesting outfit that you’re wearing to a first date.” He looked up to my heaving bosom. “A bit revealing, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” I said with a grin. “I had a guy ask me if I was a prostitute.”
“What?” He laughed.
“Well, he asked me what twenty dollars would get him.”
“Oh no!” He laughed again and then paused. “This wasn’t your date, was it?”
“Technically yes, it was the guy I met tonight,” I said and burst out laughing. It was true. The guy in the coffee shop was the only guy I had met tonight. He was as close to a date as I’d come.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He bit his lower lip to stop from laughing even more. “So maybe it wasn’t really a perfect date?”
“Yeah, it wasn’t a perfect date.” I sighed. “And there were no roses. I was just saying that so Liv wouldn’t feel bad for me.” I felt bad about lying, but I didn’t want him to know that I knew Liv wasn’t going to be there.
“I kinda figured that part out.” He grinned. “Go and change and let’s watch this movie and maybe we can change this night around.”
“Can we order pizza as well?” I asked hopefully, as my stomach grumbled.
“I think that can be arranged.” He nodded.
“Yay!” I felt like I was soaring as I stared at Aiden. This was going better than planned, and I had kinda extricated myself from my lie about my date. I knew I hadn’t come completely clean, but I figured I had admitted enough. “Pepperoni and—”
“Pepperoni and ham with onions,” he said, interrupting me and giving me a wink. “I know, Alice, trust me, I know.”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d remember,” I said with a shrug, though of course I was deliriously happy inside.
“You and Liv ordered pizza almost every weekend.” He rolled his eyes. “And you were both brats about not letting me choose what went on half of the pizza, so of course I remember.”