I knew as soon as I walked into the apartment after work that something was off. The air felt chilly and the rooms were too quiet. I closed the door quietly and stood there for a few seconds wondering why I felt as if I were out-of-place in my own home.
“Alice, is that you?” Liv cried out my name and I followed the sound of her voice to the kitchen.
“Of course it’s me. Who else would it be?” I asked with a small laugh, though my insides were tense. “What’s going on?” I asked with a small frown as Liv was sitting at the kitchen table with a teapot and two cups in front of her.
“Want some tea?” she asked brightly, and I couldn’t stop from making a face.
“No, I don’t want some tea. We never drink tea.” I sat down across from her. “We only got that tea set in case we met some hot English guys, so we could invite them back for tea and biscuits.”
“True.” She smiled. “That never happened, though.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Who knew that all British guys weren’t hot?”
“Or into tea.” She laughed. “They preferred beers.”
“Or pints, as they called them.” I grinned. “And lagers.”
“Oh yeah, what was that one lager called?” Liv made a face. “Fosters?”
“Oh yeah, that was gross.” I giggled and then sat back and stared at her face. “What’s going on?” I asked again, my heart racing as the room went still and quiet. Was Liv about to tell me that Aiden and Elizabeth were dating and that he had played me the previous night? I’d been so nervous all day, and I’d been upset that I hadn’t asked him exactly what was going on with the two of them. A part of me was scared that he was going to say something that I didn’t want to hear. Liv looked uncomfortable as she stared at me and I could tell that she was nervous. “Liv,” I asked softly and then I gasped. “Is Aiden dating Elizabeth?”
“Huh?” She looked at me in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Is Aiden with Elizabeth?”
“Wait, what?” She frowned. “Didn’t you spend the night with Aiden? Didn’t you text me that you were staying over?”
“Yes, I did.”
“So why do you still think he’s with Elizabeth?”
“Long story.” I sighed. And watched as she twirled with her hair. My heart dropped as I looked at her. “You don’t have cancer, do you?”
“What?” Liv looked confused. “No, no, of course not.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Xander proposed to me last night.” She bit her lower lip and just stared at me for a second. I stared back at her in shock as she looked at me uncertainly. I have to be honest here; I felt two emotions at her words. The first emotion I felt was extreme happiness for her and when I say extreme happiness, I mean I immediately started grinning in excitement. But, if I’m honest, my smile hid my other emotion. And that was fear. Fear that emanated from my disappointment, jealousy, worry and anxiety. In that moment, I wanted to burst into tears. There were too many things going on, too many things changing, too many uncertainties in my life and I could barely stay afloat.
“Oh my God, let me see the ring!” I said finally and grabbed her hand and gasped out loud. “Whoa,” I said, impressed, as I stared at the gigantic rock on her finger. “Did he go to South Africa and mine that himself?” I said, my eyes wide. “That’s huge.”
“Isn’t it?” she said, her eyes equally wide. “I think it’s too big.”
“There is no such thing as too big.” I laughed and then paused. “I thought he was going to give you his family ring though?”
“I think that he felt bad about proposing with that ring after Gabby had worn it.” Liv made a face, and I groaned. Sometimes I forgot that Xander had been in a fake engagement with Liv’s older sister, Gabby.
“As he should,” I said and then looked at her ring again and squealed. “Oh my God, Liv, I’m so excited for you.”
“You’re not upset?” she asked hesitantly.
“Of course I’m not upset.” I shook my head at her. “I’m so happy for you. Okay, I admit I’m a little jealous, but you know I’m so happy for you.”
“It’s going to be so weird,” she said with a sigh.
“What is?”
“Leaving here. Leaving you. Moving in with, Xander.”
“When are you leaving?” I asked nonchalantly, my stomach in knots. I was going to be alone at twenty-two. I had known she was planning on moving out anyways, but now it all seemed so real.
“Not until we’re married,” she said with a smile. “I told Xander I don’t want to live together until we’re married.”
“Oh.” I bit my lower lip and paused for a second without speaking. “Isn’t it a bit late to be taking a virginal stance?” I squeaked out. “Didn’t you already tell him you were going to move in with him?
“Virginal stance?” She grinned. “What are you talking about?”
“You not living with Xander before you’re married.”
“I’m not doing that because I don’t want to live in sin.” She laughed. “I’m doing it for you.”
“For me?”
“Yes!” She shook her head. “I know you don’t want me to move out, and I don’t want to either. I’d love for Xander to move in and we all live together, but he would never go for that. And remember he kinda already asked me to move in with him, and I kinda already said yes.”
“What?” My jaw dropped. “You don’t have to do this for me. If you want to live with him beforehand, you should.”
“He asked me to move in before he proposed and while I was happy, I didn’t really know what to say,” she said with a shy smile. “I didn’t know how to tell you then and I felt so bad how you found out, but I thought about it and I don’t want to move out and leave you just yet. So I told him I prefer that we don’t move in together until we’re married.”
“Wow.” I felt as if I were in shock. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Neither did he.” She laughed. “I don’t think he was too happy that I changed my mind about moving in earlier.”
“Dump him, then.” I laughed. “Find a guy who will be cool with that situation. Who needs Xander anyway? Tell him to keep his cheap-ass ring,” I joked, and Liv laughed.
“You know how much I love him,” she said dreamily, and I nodded as we both gazed at her beauty of a ring.
“I know.”
“This is it for me, Alice.” Her eyes were soft as she gazed at me. “He’s the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life. He’s the one who makes me feel whole. He’s my better half. My perfect half. And he loves me. He really loves me. After everything.” She stopped then and grabbed my hands. “I never thought I’d meet someone like him.”
“I know. And you deserve him,” I said seriously. “He’s perfect for you. I’m so happy for you, Liv.”
“I want you to have what I have.” She squeezed my hands. “I want you to be loved and to love like I love.”
“Maybe it’s just not in the cards for me,” I said, my eyes watering. “Maybe I’m not the girl who gets the forever love. Maybe I’m not the girl who gets the guy. Maybe I’m just destined to be by myself forever.” A lone tear fell from my eyes, and I looked down and I felt my heart breaking for the millionth time that week “Maybe I’m that girl who gets no one.”
“You’ve got Aiden.”
“I don’t know what I’ve got with Aiden,” I groaned and more tears fell from my eyes. “We spent last night together and it was wonderful, Liv. It was so perfect, and I felt as if my heart and soul were on fire. He was perfect. The perfect lover.”
“Ugh,” Liv groaned. “This is weird to hear about my brother.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She smiled. “I can deal with it.”
“He did things to me, Liv.” My voice dropped. “You don’t even want to know, but he bossed me around and made me strip off and then we made love against his window.”
“His window?” Her eyes widened.
“You had to be there.” I laughed. “Let’s just say it was hotter than hot.”
“Wow.”
“But then Elizabeth texted him.” I bit my lower lip.
“And said what?”
“She asked him something about me seeing the handcuff marks.”
“No way!” Liv’s mouth dropped open. “Why would she ask him that?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I was too scared to ask him.” I sighed. “Do you think he is seeing both of us? Do you think I should pretend to have another boyfriend to try and make him jealous?”