Ruby had her back to him, so she couldn’t see him making his way over. In an ideal world, he hoped that she would ask Tiffany to give them some time alone so they could talk. But he guessed she probably wouldn’t, which meant he had to make up some reason for persuading her to leave her friend. He supposed he could mention the science project. The good old science project, where would they have been without it? Except that excuse wouldn’t work for much longer, since they’d all been handed in for assessment.
As he got within a few feet of them, he could hear Ruby talking.
“It’s awful,” Ruby said.
“I feel so sorry for you,” Tiffany replied. “And for him, obviously.”
Drew stopped dead in his tracks. Were they talking about him? He shook his head. He was leaping to conclusions. It could be anyone. Blake, for a start.
“Yes. And that’s what’s so painful about the whole thing. I doubt he’ll ever come to terms with looking like he does. It sends shivers down my spine just wondering what he’s thinking when he sees a reflection of himself. That’s why I always have to be there for him. He needs me.”
Drew’s jaw clenched. They were talking about him. Who else would have a hard time looking at his own repulsive reflection? And Ruby as good as admitted that she was only with him out of pity.
He had really thought that their relationship meant something to her. She had acted as though it did. Even though they hadn’t talked about their feelings for each other, he’d just assumed they both felt the same. But obviously, he’d been wrong. And she was one hell of an actress.
An actress who couldn’t keep her mouth shut. It was bad enough she’d told her mom, but now she’d told Tiffany, especially after he’d specifically asked her not to. He wondered who else she’d told. It was just more proof that she didn’t think that much about him, other than her damned pity. And apparently revulsion when she looked at him.
Part of him wanted to confront her, but he knew that if he didn’t get out of there, he’d lose it.
He turned to leave before she had time to notice him.
“Drew?” He stopped and saw Ruby beckoning to him to join them. “Sit with us,” she added.
Typical. He couldn’t even get away from there without being spotted. “No thanks. I’m just leaving.”
A puzzled expression crossed her face. “But you haven’t eaten your lunch.”
He glanced down at the sandwich he’d been clutching so tightly in his hand that it was squashed beyond recognition. “I’m not hungry.” He shrugged, tossing it in a nearby garbage can.
“What’s wrong?”
His jaw clenched, and he drew in a sharp breath, trying to keep himself from shouting. “Nothing.” He turned and made his way toward the door.
He had to stop himself from actually running, because he didn’t want to stand out. When he finally made it out of the cafeteria, he went through the door leading outside. He then crouched down, leaning against the school wall, and buried his head in his hands. He could have kicked himself for being so stupid for not realizing that Ruby didn’t care for him. Not like he cared for her.
“Drew.”
Ruby. Of course she’d followed him. He glanced up and saw her standing by him. He felt a flash of annoyance. It wasn’t hard to realize that he wanted to be left alone. So why hadn’t she? “What?” he snapped.
She might get the hint and leave him alone if he made it difficult for her.
“Why are you being like this?” She started to crouch down next to him, but he jumped up and faced her. He noticed the redness as it gradually crept up her cheeks and fought back his feelings of guilt for upsetting her. He wasn’t going to back down. Not now. Now that he knew the truth.
“Being like what?” he asked coolly.
“You know what I mean.” She tentatively reached out her hand to touch him, but he stepped away so she couldn’t. She dropped her arm back down to her side.
“Yeah, I know. Your pet project. Someone you can discuss with your best friend to make yourself feel like a caring person.”
Her eyes widened in shock as he spoke, and the blush that had been creeping up her cheeks turned into a full-face red flush. “What are you talking about?”
He had to hand it to her; she was making a very good show at not understanding. It was easy to see how he’d misread everything between them. She was a talented actress, and she’d been playing him for a fool the entire time. His whole body tensed at the thought. “Don’t play dumb with me, Ruby. I heard you in the cafeteria talking about me to Tiffany.”
He couldn’t spell it out any more, so surely now she would have to admit everything and then she could go and leave him alone.
“In the cafeteria?” she confirmed.
“That’s what I said.” He watched her face change as she realized what he’d been talking about. “But we weren’t talking about you,” she said, shaking her head.
“Of course you weren’t. And I suppose you’re now going to say that Tiffany doesn’t know about us.” He couldn’t believe that she could take him for such a fool. She’d been found out, so why didn’t she come clean and admit it?
“I didn’t say that. I admit she does know we’ve been seeing each other, but she hasn’t told anyone, I promise.”
He knew it. “And who else have—”
“But we weren’t talking about you,” Ruby interrupted. “We were talking about my dad.” She stood with her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“So you say.” But some of his anger had left him as he processed her words. Because it was entirely possible that he’d misunderstood. She could have been talking about her dad, who did need her and probably always would.
Whether or not what Ruby had said was true, he still knew deep down that he shouldn’t be in a relationship with her. He was covered in scars, practically a monster on the outside. And it just matched what was on the inside. After what he’d done, it wasn’t fair to Blake or to Reese’s memory for him to carry on as if nothing had happened. And it wasn’t fair to Ruby to let her think that they could have something serious between them. He was stupid for letting things go as far as they had.
“It’s true.” Her voice softened with understanding he didn’t deserve. “Tiffany asked me to go shopping with her this weekend, and I said it was my turn to sit with Dad. Then we got talking about how he hasn’t been away from the house for nearly a year.”
Drew shrugged, his thoughts far away. “Okay.”
“So you believe me?” Ruby touched him on the arm, and this time he didn’t stop her. He knew what he had to do, but he wanted to feel her warmth and for them to be close one last time.
“Yeah. But that doesn’t change anything.” He pulled his arm from under Ruby’s and stared into her dark, expressive eyes. A huge mistake because he almost backed out of what he wanted to say. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”
Chapter Fourteen
Ruby stared up at the ceiling while tears streamed down her face and dripped onto her comforter. She hadn’t moved from lying on her bed since she’d arrived home from school.
Tiffany had asked if she wanted to go back home with her, but she’d said no. She wanted to be alone, to try to work out what had happened. She didn’t understand it at all. Okay, so he’d thought they’d been talking about him, and she could see why, but once they’d cleared up the mistake, why wasn’t everything good? She’d wondered if it was because she’d told Tiffany about them, and he’d found out. But again, why would he want to dump her because of that?
She’d always known that being with him would be complicated, a complication that she totally didn’t need. Plus, she hadn’t even planned to date anyone during junior year because she’d wanted to focus on keeping her grades up. So, really, she should be happy that they weren’t together any more and that he’d finished it.