“Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” She widened her eyes.
That felt right. “Yes, like we were before,” he answered.
“But do you still want to keep it a secret?” she asked, her voice suddenly less soft.
He hadn’t even thought about it, and it surprised him that she had. He didn’t see the importance of it in the grand scheme of things. “Yeah, I guess.” He wanted things exactly as they were before.
“Because of Blake?”
He nodded. “Partly, yes. I want to protect you from his anger and the gossip that would result from it being out in the open.”
“You said partly. Why else do we have to engage in this subterfuge?”
This wasn’t going at all as he’d planned. He’d hoped Ruby would accept his apology, fall back into his arms, and laugh at how stupid he’d been. “Because I don’t want to rub anyone’s face in the fact that I’m happy. You know that. Nothing has changed in that respect. I don’t deserve it, but I can’t let you go, either.”
She put her glass down on the bedside table, wincing at the movement, and traced a line along her arm cast. “Then my answer is no. I’m sorry, Drew. I could just about go with your plan if it was because of Blake or the gossip, although I’m not totally convinced it’s the right thing to do. But, you thinking that you’re not worthy of happiness is crazy. It’s self-obsessed and reminds me too much of my dad. I’m not prepared to be part of it.”
“But—”
“Sorry, no buts.” She lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. “I think you better leave now,” she said drowsily. “I’m feeling really tired.”
Chapter Sixteen
Tears stung the back of Drew’s eyes as he stormed down the hospital corridor, narrowly missing slamming into someone being pushed on a stretcher. He had to get out of there before he broke down and made an absolute idiot of himself.
He’d given more of himself to Ruby than he’d ever done to anyone else. She knew his innermost feelings. The things that haunted him. His anxiety about what had happened. Yet it wasn’t enough, and now he was back to where he’d started. Alone. But was he surprised? No. He’d had his head in the clouds when thinking that he could be with Ruby and forget everything that had happened in the past.
For the first time, he wondered what it would be like if he was more like his parents and could grab a bottle and drink until his senses were dulled and his troubles disappeared into nothingness. He shook his head. He wasn’t like them, and he didn’t intend to be. Ever.
He finally reached the hospital entrance and pushed open the double doors that led into the parking lot. He’d left his car in the overflow parking garage as there was nothing closer when he’d arrived earlier, so he turned and made his way toward it.
“What are you doing here?” a voice said to his left.
Blake. The one person he really didn’t want to see at that precise moment.
“I’m just leaving,” Drew said guardedly. Blake looked like he was spoiling for a fight, all nervous energy and blazing anger. And although in the past they would have been evenly matched, Drew didn’t like his chances now. Recovering from the fire had decimated his fitness level. Plus, he didn’t want to hit Blake. And Blake obviously wanted to hit him.
“Not yet, you’re not.” Blake stepped in front of him, blocking his way, his arms folded across his chest.
“What do you want, Blake?” Drew let out an exasperated sigh. “If you want to hit me, take your best shot. I’m not going to hit back.”
Blake blinked, obviously surprised at that. “No one hurts my sister and gets away with it,” he sputtered.
“I didn’t mean to. I love Ruby.”
Love.
He’d just admitted his love for Ruby, before his conscious mind had even realized. He had never doubted how much he enjoyed being with her, and how much he liked her. But love?
Saying it felt right. No matter what happened with them in the end.
“You’re such a punk, Drew.” Blake shoved him, and Drew’s muscles tensed as he counterbalanced to keep from falling. But that’s all he did.
“Come on, fight back.” Blake shoved him again, square in the chest.
“No.”
“Dammit!” Blake pulled back his arm, and Drew swallowed hard. Then his face erupted in pain as Blake struck a blow right in his nose, and Drew fell to the ground.
“Ow!” He cupped his hands over his face, his eyes watering. God, that hurt. He could feel blood dripping through his fingers, and he wondered if his nose was broken. He took a few deep breaths until the agony subsided.
Then, he braced his hands on his knees and raised himself to standing. He’d been burned on 30 percent of his body—a broken nose was nothing. He faced Blake, who was breathing hard, his face tomato red.
Blake’s hands were still clenched into fists in front of him. “Come on.”
“I don’t want to hit you, Blake,” he said. The slight stuffiness in his voice made him feel like the punk Blake had called him.
With a shout, his former best friend charged at him. Drew ducked and then stepped out of the way just as Blake tried to land another punch. “I never said I’d let you hit me twice,” he snarled.
Blake whirled around and came at him again, clipping him painfully on the jaw with his fist.
“Screw this.” Drew immediately responded with a punch of his own, and caught Blake on the shoulder, causing him to growl in pain. But Blake recovered in a split second and in response gave a swift jab that Drew couldn’t avoid. It connected with the side of his head, causing him to lose his balance and stumble. He turned and gut-punched Blake, who doubled over with a volley of curses, clutching his stomach. Stubborn ass, he rose up, clearly intending to throw another punch.
“Stop!” Drew hollered. Pain shot up his leg from his earlier stumble. He turned and faced Blake squarely.
Blake took one step toward him, but Drew stood his ground.
“I get it. You hate me. I don’t blame you. But punching me won’t change anything.” Drew’s eyes darted to the side, making sure he had sufficient space to get out of the way should Blake take another shot at him.
“You violated my trust. You betrayed our friendship. Hurting you will make me feel better,” Blake snarled. But he put his hands down, spitting on the ground and then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You don’t mean that.” Drew’s muscles relaxed, as he realized that the fighting was likely over.
“What do you know?” Blake scowled at him and took a step closer.
“I know you.”
“Yeah, right,” Blake said.
“Yes,” Drew continued, ignoring Blake’s response. “And it cuts me up to know that I’ve hurt you. The one person who’s the closest to family that I’ve ever had.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” Blake shook his head.
“I know. I totally screwed up.” Drew’s voice cracked. “I used to be so jealous of you. Your relationship with Ruby. Your mom. I know it wasn’t easy, with your dad and not having money. But I’d have given everything I had to swap with you.”
Blake opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, then settled for looking awkward. “You never told me.”
Drew laughed, but there was no mirth in it. “Well, I was hardly gonna take out an ad in the paper.” Silence hung in the air. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “For Reese. For the fire. Reese told me you’d broken up again, and she swore she was through with you. I didn’t— My parents’ drinking had gotten worse, and I know that’s no excuse, but I was just feeling so… I just wanted someone. She was there, and she kissed me, and I let her.” He stared at the ground, unable to look his old friend in the eye. “We were going to tell you, and I swear, Blake, if you’d said you didn’t want me to see her, I wouldn’t have. Your friendship meant more to me than anything else in the world.”