Screw the meeting—they would have to manage without him.
Chapter Five
The haunted expression on Drew’s face cut Ruby to the core. She’d never seen anyone look so desperate in all her life. He’d suffered and continued to suffer, and witnessing the sheer fury Blake directed at him really brought it home to her. Her heart ached for him, for her brother. And for Reese. Ruby hadn’t known her well—Reese and Blake generally hadn’t wanted company when they’d been dating. But on the occasions where Reese and Ruby had spent time together, they hadn’t talked much beyond surface-level stuff, since they hadn’t had a lot in common. But that didn’t mean that Ruby wasn’t sorry she’d lost her life.
Without stopping to worry about what Blake might say if he found out, she hurriedly threw on her jacket, picked up her books and went after him. After bursting through the library door, Ruby caught sight of him as he headed down the corridor, his head bowed. She followed as he turned left and went outside into the student parking lot.
Crap.
She’d never reach him now, as he’d probably parked his car close by the school entrance. But as she pushed open the heavy steel doors that led outside, she saw that he’d walked away from where his black hatchback was parked and headed down the street. Keeping him in sight, she followed. When he reached the end of the road, he turned left onto West Magnolia Drive. A few seconds later, Ruby reached the corner and saw him about twenty yards in front of her. He had come to a halt and was facing one of the houses, his hands jammed into his pockets.
Reese’s house. The house where the fire had occurred.
It looked desolate. The windows were still boarded up, and scorch marks marred the wood paneling, a reminder of the awful damage that had been done all those months ago. She sucked in a breath, then jogged toward him.
“Drew,” she said softly as she approached him.
He didn’t respond, so she tapped him gently on the shoulder, and immediately wished she hadn’t because he jumped back in shock. When he tried to regain his balance, one of his black Chucks came down on her foot.
“Ouch!” Ruby yelped, as pain shot through her foot. She sat down on the stone steps on the walkway in front of the ruined house and yanked off her Skecher, rubbing until the throbbing began to ease. She hated that she sounded like a big baby, but who wouldn’t holler when someone of Drew’s size came down squarely on their first two toes?
“Sorry. Are you okay?” Drew reached out and placed a palm on her arm, rubbing it up and down like you might to soothe a child. It was the first time she’d seen him touch anyone since he’d returned, and she could only blink stupidly at him.
He looked down at his hand and then pulled it back with a small hiss, like she’d burned him. “Sorry,” he repeated.
She slipped her sneaker back on, the pain forgotten. “I’ll survive.” She waved her hand dismissively, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he clearly did, and pretending that he hadn’t just touched her or that it had affected her so much.
“I didn’t see you. What are you doing here?” He frowned, looking like he wanted to sit next to her. She scooted over to make room for him, but he just backed a few steps away from her.
She didn’t want him to go, so she tried the truth. “I was worried about you after the way Blake went off on us, so I followed you.” Okay, that had probably made her sound like some kind of stalker. It didn’t help that they always seemed to be in the same place at the same time—through no fault of his.
He gazed at a spot above her head, his green eyes going slightly unfocused. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m happy to be left alone. It’s best that way.”
Ruby’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. Her dad’s favorite saying ever since his accident was “I just want to be left alone.” Always said in a self-absorbed, I’m-a-victim sort of way. It was disturbing to hear those same words coming from Drew’s lips. But it was yet another reminder that this kind-of crush she was developing really had to die. “Don’t think that. Of course we should worry about you,” Ruby said briskly, hoping to snap him out of his mood.
“Whatever.” He shrugged.
She should probably just leave him, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. Maybe it was the fact that his cold dismissal didn’t sound completely convincing. Or maybe it was that she knew she was the closest thing he had to a friend at school. If only she could get him to open up and talk, it would likely do him good.
“Do you often come here?” She hoped he would say no because stalking the house of his dead…whatever Reese had been to him…would indicate that he was further gone than she’d thought.
“No,” he said, without defensiveness and with enough sincerity that she believed him. “This is the first time. I don’t even think it was a conscious decision. I just started walking and ended up here.” He swallowed and shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable.
He seemed so sad and broken that all Ruby wanted to do was to fling her arms around him. But how could she? First of all, she was Blake’s sister, and she owed it to her brother not to throw herself bodily at the guy who had betrayed him. And second, the gesture would probably make Drew jump out of his skin. He seemed so intent on punishing himself that an overload of kindness could send him over the edge. “Sometimes we do things without knowing why.” Wow. That sounded like a horrible Hallmark card. Or, at least, something her mother would say. She paused for a moment, wondering what to say next. “Is being here helping at all?”
As soon as the words were out of Ruby’s mouth, she wished she could take them back. How on earth was looking at a burned-out house gonna make him feel better? She could have kicked herself.
“Not really. Standing here brings it all back to me.” His voice cracked.
Tears formed in Ruby’s eyes. He was hurting so much, and she just felt…helpless. “Do you want to leave? We can walk back to school or go somewhere for a coffee, if you want to talk.” When he didn’t say anything, she stood up and moved directly into his personal space. “Drew, it’s okay. You can talk to me.”
His gaze locked onto the house behind her. “It’s like I can hear Reese’s screams even now,” he said, his voice distant and flat, like he hadn’t even heard Ruby. “I couldn’t reach her. I tried. So hard. The flames pushed me back. And then the firefighters pulled me out.”
Ruby shuddered. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how horrific it must have been for him. “Reese wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”
“How can I not?” He shuddered, and she reached out and gripped his upper arms, willing her own strength into him. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his head forward until his forehead rested against hers. And then, like they were inside their own private bubble, he began talking. “It was my fault. I saw Reese at the mall.” Ruby could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, and when she looked up at him she could see his long, dark lashes resting against the slightly shadowed skin under his eyes. She held as still as she could. “She’d been so upset by the breakup that I didn’t want to leave her. She asked me back here.” He jerked his chin slightly in the direction of the house but didn’t lose contact with Ruby. “I should have said no. Why didn’t I say no?” The expression on his face was filled with anguish.
“You didn’t know what would happen.” All she wanted to do was pull him closer and comfort him, but she didn’t want to break the spell between them. He needed to talk, and she needed to listen.
“We had a few beers and just started making out. I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he continued. “I tried to push her away, said it wasn’t right. But she kept telling me that they were broken up, so it was okay. And I— I wanted it to happen.”