That’s what Mum’s never been able to get over. Well,’ she amended, ‘that and .. . something else that was said.’
Sitting very still, Kerr McKinnon said, ‘Which was?’
‘Apparently your mother was heard outside the court saying it wasn’t as if April had been normal.’
The room was silent.
Finally Kerr spoke.
‘I did apologise.’
Maddy shook her head. ‘Nobody did. That’s what made Marcella so mad.’
‘OK, listen. Before the trial, my brother’s lawyers stressed that none of us should make any attempt to contact your family. That was their number one rule. But after the trial, when Den had been sentenced, I did apologise, to your father.’ Kerr waited. ‘At least, I tried to. He didn’t want to hear it. I came over to your house one morning when I knew you and your brother would be at school. I wanted to see Marcella as well, but she wasn’t there. I did my best to tell your father how sorry we all were, but he wouldn’t let me get more than a few words out. Basically he told me to clear off out of his sight and never come near him or his family again. I thought he was going to punch me. I’d gone there to try and make things better and all I was doing was making things worse. So I did what he wanted me to do and left.’ Shaking his head, Kerr said, ‘And he never even told anyone I’d been there.’
‘Never. Not a word.’ Maddy wondered if she was being gullible here. Could Kerr McKinnon be spinning her a sob story?
Catching the look in her eyes he said flatly, ‘You don’t believe me? It’s the truth. Ask your father.’
Maddy stared at him. ‘I can’t.’
‘Look, it was eleven years ago. I’m not expecting him to forgive me for being a McKinnon, but he could at least admit that I went to your house that day and did my best to apologise for what happened.’
‘He couldn’t,’ said Maddy. ‘He’s dead.’
Now it was Kerr’s turn to look at her in dismay. ‘God. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘Clearly.’
‘When did that happen?’
‘Six years ago. He had a heart attack.’ Maddy blinked hard. ‘He was only forty-four. I don’t know, life doesn’t seem fair sometimes, does it? We didn’t have any warning. Poor Marcella, as if she hadn’t already had enough to cope with.’
‘Not only Marcella,’ Kerr said gently.
‘She’s amazing. I don’t know how she does it. We’re so lucky to have her.’
‘She’s lucky to have you.’
Maddy swallowed the lump in her throat; sympathy was the last thing she needed. ‘Anyway, Mum’s fine now. Three years ago she started seeing this new chap who’d just moved into the village. His name’s Vincenzo d’Agostini, he’s a master carpenter and we all really like him. They live together now in his house on Holly Hill, and he’s only thirty-eight so we call him the toyboy. We keep dropping hints about wedding bells but Mum says it’s more fun living in sin.’
For the first time that morning, Kerr smiled.
‘Well, good for them. I’m glad she’s happy. And how about your brother, where’s he living now?’
Maddy began to relax. ‘Oh, still in Ashcombe. Jake has a seven-year-old daughter—’
‘Jesus. Seven?’
‘ Yes, well, it wasn’t exactly planned. He and Nadine were both seventeen. She didn’t want the baby, but Marcella persuaded her to go through with the pregnancy. Actually, she paid her not to have an abortion. After Sophie was born, Nadine handed her over to Jake and took off. Jake was granted sole custody. Mum helps out, of course, but he’s brilliant with her. To be honest, I never thought he’d manage it, I expected him to get bored after a couple of months, like he did with his Lego space station when he was eight. But it’s been seven years now and he hasn’t got bored yet.’
‘And you’re in Ashcombe as well. Whereabouts?’
‘With Jake and Sophie. We’re still in our old house. Marcella’s the only one who’s moved out.’
‘Snow Cottage,’ said Kerr, remembering the name.
‘The three of us,’ said Maddy with a wry smile. ‘Not the most conventional of set-ups, but then our family never did specialise in being run-of-the-mill. Anyhow, it works for us. We’re happy.’
‘Good,’ said Kerr, and he sounded as if he meant it.
‘How about you? Your family, I mean.’ She felt obliged to ask, but was curious too.
Following the trial, Den had gone to prison. Kerr had returned to complete his university degree, then taken a job in London. Meanwhile their mother Pauline had retreated, alone, to the secluded family home midway between Ashcombe and Bath. Pauline McKinnon was rumoured to have become an eccentric recluse — though Maddy had always wondered how, if she was such a recluse, anyone could possibly know she was eccentric.
‘My family?’ Kerr sighed. ‘Haven’t done as well as yours, I’m afraid. When Den was released, he.
moved to Australia. He wasn’t happy, couldn’t settle, drifted from job to job and from woman to woman ... we lost touch over five years ago. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing now.
And as for my mother, well, she’s a chronic alcoholic, incapable of looking after herself. I’ve hired maybe a dozen housekeeper-companions over the years but they never stay more than a few months. Last Christmas I had to arrange for her to go into a home. That’s why I moved back to Bath. I’m going to need to sell the house to pay the nursing home fees. According to the doctors, she shouldn’t even still be alive, but apparently she has the constitution of an ox.’ He paused. ‘Needless to say, she’s not happy either. Maybe your mother will be pleased to hear it.’
Maddy automatically opened her mouth to defend Marcella, then shut it again. He was probably right. OK, be honest, he was right. How many times had Marcella vehemently declared that she hoped the McKinnons would burn in hell?
Whereas it was, in truth, just terribly, terribly sad. Pauline McKinnon had been through the mill and had declined into alcoholism as a result. She too had been widowed when her children were only young, losing her Scottish architect husband to a brain haemorrhage. And now her house was having to be sold to pay her nursing home fees. She wasn’t to blame for what had happened. The accident had been a tragedy affecting more than just one family. And Kerr — Maddy truly believed him now — had attempted to apologise to her father .. .
‘I’d better be getting on.’ She rose to her feet, realising how long they’d been closeted in his office exchanging family histories. ‘My other customers will be getting restless.’
‘But you’ll carry on coming here,’ said Kerr. When she hesitated he added, ‘I won’t always be around. I’m away in London a lot of the time, dealing with clients.’
Was that meant to be an incentive? Maddy nodded, already feeling oddly bereft at the thought of not seeing him while he was in London. ‘I’ll carry on.’
Another flicker of a smile. ‘Maybe when I get back we could go out to dinner one evening. If you wanted to.’
He was looking at her, gauging her reaction. Maddy wondered if he had the remotest idea how she was feeling right now.
If you wanted to.
Oh, she wanted to, all right. But wanting something and actually doing it were two entirely different things. She pictured Marcella’s reaction upon discovering that she’d had a civilised conversation with a McKinnon, let alone a dinner date.
Put it this way, there’d be no roof left on Snow Cottage.