‘God, yes, absolutely. I’m starting to get bored with you already. Any minute now I’ll roll over, fall asleep and start snoring like an elephant seal,’ said Kerr. ‘That’ll be your cue to prod me awake and say in a whiny voice, "Why can’t you give me a cuddle? Why can’t we just lie here and talk about us?" Then I’ll chuck you my phone and tell you to call yourself a taxi. Ten minutes later you’ll wake me up slamming the front door as you let yourself out of the flat, and when I get up the next morning there’ll be rude words scribbled in lipstick on my bathroom mirror.’
‘Wow, you really are a pig,’ Maddy marvelled, deeply impressed. ‘Who pays for my taxi?’
‘What am I, a walking cash machine?’
The trouble was, nothing he said was managing to put her off. In desperation she asked, ‘Do you snore?’
‘Like a tractor. Stick around and you’ll find out.’
‘I’m not staying. I can’t.’ Maddy knew she couldn’t bring herself to go to Marcella’s barbecue, to just turn up as if nothing had happened, but she couldn’t stay here tonight either. Jake, who didn’t miss a trick, was suspicious already. When he’d seen the new bra and knickers earlier, the look he’d given her had made her flush with guilt.
It was so unfair. When it came to the opposite sex, Jake was no saint; if she had a pair of shoes for every girl he’d slept with, she’d be Imelda Marcos and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson rolled into one. But now, just when it was her turn to have some fun, he was threatening to come over all disapproving simply because of who Kerr was related to.
‘Sure I can’t change your mind?’ Kerr’s hand disappeared beneath the rumpled duvet, sliding down her hip.
Maddy shook her head. Why did everything have to be so difficult?
‘I have to get back.’
‘But not just yet.’
Oh God, this wasn’t just difficult, it was completely impossible. But he was right; it was still only nine thirty. Giving herself up to a fresh surge of lust, Maddy smiled and insinuated one leg between his own.
Not just yet.
Marcella and Vince’s garden bore all the morning-after signs of a truly successful party. Discarded cans and bottles were strewn across the lawn and in the flowerbeds, plastic glasses glinted in the sunlight, leftover burger remnants were being helpfully wolfed up by Bean and the tables on the patio were piled high with overflowing ashtrays, discarded CDs and empty bowls that had once contained mayonnaise, pickles and Cajun dips.
Vince, busy cleaning the well-used barbecue, waved when he saw Maddy and called out,
‘You’re too late, you’ve missed it!’
‘Morning, darling!’ Marcella, wearing a scarlet satin dressing gown and dark glasses, was busy filling a black bin liner with empty lager cans. The party might have gone on until 5 a.m. but Marcella and Vince would still be up at eight to make a start on the clearing up. Pointing to the honeysuckle-covered gazebo she said, ‘I need to get up there. You couldn’t be an angel, could you, and fetch the stepladder from the garage?’
Maddy carted out the stepladder, then watched as Marcella climbed to the top step, reached into the depths of the honeysuckle and shook out three mismatched shoes, a string of uncooked sausages and a pink sequinned T-shirt.
‘Don’t ask,’ said Marcella.
‘So it was a good party.’ Maddy held the ladder steady as her mother jumped down.
‘The very best. You don’t know what you missed.’ Turning, Marcella enveloped her in a hug. ‘And how did your night go? Did you have a lovely time?’
A lovely time? It had possibly been the best night of Maddy’s life. Adding to her litany of shameless lies, she said, ‘Great. Jen’s got her eye on one of the new barmen at Brown’s. Susie’s convinced he’s gay. We ended up at the Crash Club.’ Even as the words were tumbling out, she realised she was going to have to warn Jen and Susie, explain to them that they were her alibis and that if Marcella should bump into them, they had to back her up. Preferably without knowing the real reason why she needed alibis, since it went without saying that the fewer people who knew about this, the better.
God, getting complicated already.
‘Oof, my poor head.’ Marcella groaned as she bent down to pick up an empty Côtes du Rhône bottle.
‘Hangover?’
Looking rueful, Marcella said, ‘Ozzy Osbourne impression. We had a bit of a karaoke thing going.
Should have stuck with Diana Ross – far less headbanging involved.’
‘Here, let me do it.’ Taking the black binbag away from her, Maddy said, ‘I’ll clear this lot up.
You go and put the kettle on.’
‘You should have come along,’ said Marcella. ‘We missed you. Nuala and Dexter came up after the pub shut – you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Dexter doing his Rod Stewart impression.’
You haven’t lived until you’ve been to bed with Kerr McKinnon, thought Maddy, not daring to look at Marcella and busying herself with the black bag.
‘So do you think he’s gay?’
Good grief, no! Startled, Maddy said, ‘What? Who?’
‘ The new barman at Brown’s.’ Marcella laughed. ‘Dear me, you’re away with the fairies this morning.’
‘Sorry. Too busy picturing Dexter singing, "Do ya think I’m sexy."‘ Bending down, Maddy picked up a charred baked potato. ‘And yes, I think the barman was gay – it’s always a bit of a giveaway when they wear a Barbra Streisand T-shirt. But that’s the kind of luck Jen has with men.’
‘She’ll find the right one sooner or Iater. There’s plenty of lovely men out there if you know where to look. Jen’ll end up with her Mr Perfect one day.’ Marcella glanced fondly across at Vince as she spoke.
‘And so will you.’
Guilt swept through Maddy like a bushfire.
Raising a teasing eyebrow, Marcella went on, ‘That is, unless you’ve already found him.’
‘Honestly, I do the decent thing, turn up early to help you with the clearing up, and you start having a go at me.’
‘I’m not having a go. I’m on your side,’ Marcella protested. ‘Look at how happy your dad and I were. And now I’ve got Vince and he’s every bit as wonderful. Sweetheart, I just want you to be happy too.’
Last night’s bedroom antics had left Maddy with aching trembly limbs. Dumping the black bag on the grass she said, ‘And when I do find him, I’ll tell you. Come on, we’ll finish the rest of this later. Let’s have a cup of tea.’
No one ever escaped with just a cup of tea at Marcella’s house; she was physically incapable of not cooking for anyone who happened to drop in. Vince carried on clearing up outside. Maddy, who adored the cosy, comfortably cluttered kitchen, sat in one of the sunny window seats with Bean on her lap while Marcella got busy with the frying pan. Within minutes, two vast plates of crispy smoked bacon, eggs, potato and mushroom hash, grilled tomatoes and doorsteps of buttered toast were on the table. Fifteen thousand calories each, no problem, Maddy decided. Then again, she’d probably used up that many during last night’s shenanigans, five thousand calories per Oh God, stop it, don’t even think about that now.
‘I invited the Taylor-Trents last night,’ said Marcella. ‘What, all of them?’ Maddy paused between mouthfuls of perfect bacon. ‘Not Kate, surely.’
‘Come on, give the girl a break. I popped up to borrow Estelle’s lovely big serving dishes for the potato salad. How could I not invite Kate?’