This statement would have carried more weight if I’d been able to do up the damned seatbelt. As it was, I continued to fumble until I had to admit defeat and let him do it.
As he slotted the tongue into the buckle first time, he looked up at me with a teasing grin. ‘There,’ he said. ‘All safe.’
I almost smiled. He was insufferably arrogant, but there was a certain charm about him that almost melted me at that moment. Only almost, though. I threw him another glare, and settled back in my seat, looking ahead of me.
‘Where am I taking you?’ I could feel him looking at me, as he put the car into gear and released the brake.
I shrugged. ‘I didn’t know I had a choice.’
‘There’s always a choice,’ he reversed out of the parking space. ‘It’s just a question of making the right one, sometimes.’
The message implicit in his statement wasn’t lost on me. I pressed my lips together, trying not to blush again, and didn’t reply.
‘I can take you home,’ he said. ‘Or we can go on somewhere and…’
He left the sentence hanging, so I filled in the blank for him. ‘Screw?’ I said, shooting him an icy look.
‘No.’ He countered my glare with another amused grin. ‘Not that. I’ve really made a good impression, haven’t I?’ He laughed briefly. ‘I thought you might want to talk.’
‘About what?’ I stared out of the window, as the car pulled out from under the hotel. Then I ducked back in the seat, pressing my back into it and putting my hand up to shield my face.
‘It’s okay, he said. ‘I got rid of the reporters. You’re quite safe, and I’d like to talk to you, if you don’t mind. Just for a little while.’
‘Okay,’ I said. I sensed it would be pointless to argue. He was so calm and controlled, and I had a feeling that, if I’d said no, he’d have insisted anyway. Besides, a part of me was curious to know what he wanted to talk about. The rest of me already had a good idea, though, and that part wasn’t looking forward to it at all.
Twenty Six
I took her down to the Embankment at Chelsea. It just felt right, somehow. I hadn’t walked along it for years; not since Aimee. It hadn’t been so much a decision I’d made, just that I’d had no one I wanted to go there with any more. I wondered why I wanted to take Grace there, and whether I was even more fucked up than I’d thought. Christ, I’d even called her Aimee, which had gone down really well. She now thought I couldn’t even remember her name. No wonder she remained so unimpressed with me.
What was I even doing here with her? I didn’t have a clue. When I’d seen her heading off with those guys, I should’ve stood back…not interfered. I’d promised myself no more, and I should have listened. But that wasn’t fair on Aimee…and it certainly wasn’t fair on Grace.
I looked at her walking ahead of me, her hair lit up in a golden street light halo. She really could have been an angel, with her clear, open face and innocent eyes, but her halo had slipped recently, and I needed to find out what she was planning on doing about it. She turned to look at me, actually smiling, as if she knew I was thinking about her, then stopped and leaned back against the embankment.
When I caught her up, she turned again, and looked out across the river.
‘I could see this from my flat,’ she said. There was a wistful edge to her voice, as if she were missing more than just the view.
‘I can see it from mine,’ I said. ‘On a clear night.’
She didn’t speak again, and I stood behind her, gazing out towards the South Bank. It was relatively quiet and, standing there with her, it was as if everyone else, everything else, had melted away. I could have stayed like that for hours, drinking in the soft musky tones of her perfume, watching her hair flutter slightly in the breeze.
She was so like Aimee, even in the way she appeared so self-possessed. As I stood looking at her, it was as if she’d forgotten I were even there, as if she were miles away, lost in thoughts that had nothing to do with me. I didn’t care. Just being close to her comforted me.
After a while, she turned to me. ‘Thank you,’ she said.
Her simplicity took me by surprise. ‘Don’t mention it,’ I said. ‘Just don’t let it happen again. Not when I’m not there to protect you.’
‘I’ll make sure you’re there then,’ she said, turning away from me and starting to walk again, along the Embankment. ‘Next time.’
I put my hand on her shoulder and span her round. ‘This isn’t a joke,’ I said. ‘Do you have any idea of what you were getting yourself into?’
Her liquid blue eyes narrowed slightly, and she threw me that all-too-familiar glare. ‘Some,’ she said. ‘I have at least some idea, yes. I’m not a total idiot.’
‘So why…?’ I didn’t even want to say the words.
‘Why go with them?’ she looked down, then back up at me, her eyes wide but still full of fury. ‘Because it was what I wanted, that’s why.’
‘How, then,’ I persisted. ‘How could you want that?’
I didn’t even know why I said it. I knew exactly why girls wanted that kind of thing. Hell, I probably knew her reasons better than she did. The truth was, I hadn’t finished the question. The question I’d wanted to ask was; ‘How could you want that, and not want to so much as talk to me?’
She paused for a moment, as if considering the question. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. She gulped slightly and pushed her hair off her face. ‘I just know I want to…’
‘Want to?’ I pressed her, half intrigued, half not wanting to hear.
‘Look, I want to claim back what’s mine,’ she said. ‘That’s all.’
She folded her arms, and pressed her lips together. I knew she wasn’t going to say any more, and it frustrated the hell out of me. How could I help her if she wouldn’t open up to me?
‘I don’t see it’s any of your business, anyway,’ she said, after a long pause. ‘I think I’d like to go home now.’
I shrugged. ‘It’s your call,’ I said, and put my arm out to her. She didn’t move away, but instead let me guide her back towards the car. My hand brushed across her arm and her back. Her skin was tight and cold, prickled with goosebumps.
‘You’re freezing,’ I said, as we reached the car. ‘Here.’
I reached into the back of the car. I’d left my jacket there from earlier. It’d been so hot in the afternoon, I hadn’t needed it. I opened it and held it out to her. She slipped her arms into the sleeves. It was no wonder she was cold. She was so thin – much thinner than when I’d first seen her in Max’s office. She’d been slim then, but gently curved. Now her elbows were like angles. I wrapped the coat around her and she didn’t pull away.
The feeling of her delicate frame in my arms sent an immediate rush right through me. I couldn’t believe it. I could stand there and watch Felicity Flint getting double-teamed and feel nothing; I could discipline Charlotte, have her naked, crawling across my bedroom floor, and not react; yet one touch of this fragile, fucked-up little angel, and I was a mess.
My heart was pounding, the blood surging into my cock. I couldn’t help myself. I pulled her into me, before leaning down and brushing my lips against her cheek .She lifted her hand and touched the side of my face, pulling me into her neck. I went to kiss it, then pulled back, remembering the guy in the bar earlier. I didn’t want to touch her where he’d been.
I put my hand across her waist, and gently turned her, until she was facing me. Her soft, open face gazed up at me, her lips already parted and, when I put a finger under her chin, she lifted up her head to receive my kiss not just willingly, but eagerly. I brought my hand around behind her head, cradling it as I brought my lips down to meet hers.
She tasted sweet, of mint and oranges, and I drank her in, pushing my tongue into her mouth until it met hers. I pulled her in closer by her waist, and she bent backwards into my kiss, opening her lips further as I explored her mouth. She was like a changed woman in my arms. She’d gone from ice queen to sex goddess in seconds, giving herself up willingly. Easily.