I jerked and kicked my legs, yet they hit nothing but endless water beneath me.
I saw nothing except darkness.
I surfaced to fill my lungs and then went under again. I did that once more before my hand finally touched something. An arm, a leg, I didn’t know what it was, but I grabbed it with all my strength and pulled it into my body as I kicked my way to the surface.
The water broke around us, and the night air filtered over our faces, but I couldn’t feel any of it. I had been in such a panic, such survival mode, that my body never registered the water’s temperature when I’d first jumped in. My mind had been solely focused on finding this girl and getting her to safety. I couldn’t think of anything else. But once we reached the dock, I allowed myself a few seconds to look at her, hoping I’d see life in her.
Dark hair clung to her skin, hiding her face from me. But I could see enough to know that her eyes were closed. Her head lulled to the side, and I couldn’t think of anything else other than getting her to safety. With strength I didn’t know I possessed, I pushed her onto the dock and then climbed over her still body. I smacked her cheek a few times and then started CPR until I heard her cough. Then she coughed harder, spewing out a mouthful of water.
That’s when I could finally breathe.
Her eyes popped open, taking me in before pushing me away. Panic flooded her face as her eyes grew large, and she started scooting back on the wooden planks of the dock. Her hands wiped the hair from her face at the same time she moved from beneath my shadow, and that’s the moment the moonlight lit up her features, highlighting the pair of wolf eyes that had haunted my sleep for years.
Night air froze in my lungs. A hard mass thumped against my chest as if someone hit me with a sledgehammer. I knew her. I knew her well. I’d tried to save her six years ago, but I never could. I couldn’t save her, and I’d ended up losing myself at the same time.
She was the student that had ended me.
The student that nearly ended my career.
My life.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered, realization dawning on her face.
Six years ago
Aubrey
First day back from Christmas break was never fun. At least not for me. Everyone came in wearing new clothes or sporting shiny new jewelry. They clung to each other as if we’d been gone for two years instead of two weeks. Just another reminder of how alone I was in the world. While other kids opened new Nike tennis shoes wrapped in shiny gold paper, I stared out my living room window at the empty street in front of my house, imagining what went on inside the homes of my neighbors.
It’s not that I’m not a Christian, or that I don’t celebrate Christmas. That’s not why I sat alone in a bare living room watching the television on December twenty-fifth. I did that because my mother was a selfish woman who couldn’t care less about me, her only child. Buying me new things or celebrating anything with me had never been on her agenda. She only ever cared about having the perfect image in front of those that mattered—to her, anyway. And since they weren’t around on Christmas day, she had no need to fake it.
So as I passed all these kids in the hallway, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at their enthusiasm. Maybe it was because I envied them. I wished I had their lives, walked in their brand-new shoes, experienced the joys of receiving gifts bought by loving parents and caring friends. Whatever the reason, I kept my head down and walked around their gathering bodies in the hall as I headed to my first class of the day, American History.
I found my desk in the back row, right beside many other empty seats because I was the first one there. Yet another reminder of what a loner I was—I didn’t even have a friend to talk to before the bell rang. But I pushed back those negative thoughts as I got ready for class, pulling my notebook and pencil from my backpack. I must’ve been so lost in my own head, because the sound of a throat clearing next to me made me jump.
I turned toward the interruption and found the sexiest man alive staring back at me. What surprised me the most was that he sat in our teacher’s seat…at our teacher’s desk. Then I allowed my eyes to wander from his perfect face and found that he wore a dress shirt and tie. Kids my age didn’t wear clothes like that. Only teachers did.
Oh shit.
The side of my seat sat flush with the front of the teacher’s desk, so if we both leaned in a little bit more, we could very well be nose to nose with only the top of the teacher’s desk separating our bodies. I never had a problem with it when Mrs. Ziegler sat there.
Now it seemed to pose a potential uncomfortable dilemma.
“You’re the sub?” I asked with what I intended to be a strong voice, but it came out breathy and pathetic. Enough so that my cheeks burned, and I knew that he noticed the blush. I wasn’t a subtle blusher.
“No. New teacher. As you know, your old teacher had her baby, and she made the decision not to come back. My name is Ah—Mr. Taylor. And you are?” His smile blinded me and caused all logical thoughts to vacate my brain. All I could focus on was his voice, and how deep it was, how it felt as it fell over me, consuming me.
My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Not a damn thing. He asked me a question, yet at that moment, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. He was that gorgeous. Then he laughed and it brought me back to life.
“Aubrey Jacobs. But I go by Bree. You can call me Bree. Everyone does.” My face burned hotter, and I knew my cheeks probably matched the red shirt I wore. Everyone does? That would imply I had friends. Which wasn’t a bad thing to let him believe, even if it was an outright lie.
A soft laugh escaped his perfect lips as he glanced down at a piece of paper in front of him, making a mark on it. I assumed it was the attendance sheet, but I couldn’t peel my eyes away from his mouth to verify. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Bree.”
Ah, the way he said my name. The way it rolled off his tongue, it sounded beautiful—deep and very masculine. I wanted to hear him say it all the time. And I made up my mind right then and there that I would study my ass off, just so I could raise my hand when he’d ask questions in class, and then he’d have to say my name.
“Don’t you know your own name?” My question surprised me as much as it seemed to surprise him. I thought it sounded flirty in my head, but out loud, it was just weird.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you said ‘ah’ before you said your name. Like you had to think about it.” I wanted to slap myself. Students didn’t make small talk with their teachers. They took notes, listened, and learned. They weren’t friends.
His lips turned up into another heart-stopping smile, revealing a sliver of perfect teeth, and I had to force myself to keep breathing. His bright, clear-blue eyes twinkled in the lights from above as he cocked his head to the side. This guy seriously couldn’t have been that much older than me. Probably fresh out of college. He was young, fit from what I could see of him, and oh so sexy.
“My first name is Axel. I’m not in the habit of introducing myself as Mr. Taylor yet. It’ll take some getting used to, I guess.”
“Axel…?” I posed it like a question, as if trying to place the name somewhere, but in reality, I just wanted to say it. I wanted to see what it felt like to roll it off my tongue.
“Yeah, my mom was a huge Guns N’ Roses fan. She had a thing for Axl Rose. Could be worse. She also had a thing for Aerosmith, and then I would’ve been Tyler Taylor, because she thought Steven was a boring name. If you look at it that way, I’m rather fortunate she chose Axel.”