Emerging from her ladyship’s scented embrace, Cressy blushed, laughed, and said: “Thank you, ma’am! I hope I may prove you right! I only know that he is the very husband for me! But why did it make you feel low to see Evelyn? Do you fear he may be worse injured than Kit thinks?”
“Oh no, I shouldn’t think so! To be sure, he does look rather pulled, poor lamb, but that’s nothing! Cressy, did Kit tell you about Miss Askham?”
“To be sure he did! I understand she is a very beautiful and—and sweet girl!”
“Well, she maybe,” said Lady Denville doubtfully. “But her name is Patience!”
“How pretty!” said Cressy, in encouraging accents. “Rather—rather Quakerish, and refreshingly unusual!”
“Do you think so?” Lady Denville grew still more doubtful. “But I fear she is Quakerish, Cressy, and, try as I will, I cannot feel that she will suit Evelyn! You know, my love—and I can say this to you now, without any hiding of the truth!—the girls he has previously fallen in love with have all been very lively and dashing!”
Cressy smiled. “But he has quite quickly fallen out of love with them,, hasn’t he, ma’am? Perhaps—being so dashing himself?—a quiet, gentle girl will suit him much better. I believe it is often so.”
“Yes, that is what Kit says. Kit thinks that this time Evelyn has formed a lasting passion, and of course Kit knows him as no one else does. But if he wanted a quiet girl I can’t conceive why he couldn’t have fallen in love with you, dearest! It seems so capricious of him! Not that I grudge you to Kit, for Evelyn is not my favourite son, whatever Kit may say. I love them both equally, and so he knows! The thing is that Evelyn is closer to me, because we have always lived together; but Kit is so much more dependable, and the greatest comfort to me! And I should think,” she added reflectively, “that he will make a charming husband.”
“Yes, so do I,” agreed Cressy, her eyes warm with amusement. She clasped one of Lady Denville’s hands, and ventured to say: “I feel, too, that Miss Askham will make a charming wife.”
“No,” said her ladyship decidedly. “Not charming, Cressy! A good wife, I dare say—in fact, I am sure of it, and it does make me feel very low, because she sounds to me to be such an insipid girl!”
Cressy patted her hand. “Oh no, I am persuaded you won’t think her so! I expect she is shy merely.”
Lady Denville looked at her in an awed way. “Cressy, she has been reared on the strictest principles, and her mama is full of propriety, and Evelyn says that they are all of them truly good and saintly! Indeed, he described Patience to me as an angel! Well, dearest, I wouldn’t for a moment deny that that is—is most admirable, but I find saintly persons excessively uncomfortable, and I cannot live with an angel!”
“But must you live with her, ma’am?”
“No, and I don’t mean to. I told Evelyn so, when he offered for you, for it never answers! Only, when I began to think of living by myself—Cressy, do you think I could afford to do so? I should be obliged to buy a house, for I don’t feel I could hire one; and I will not live in some dreadful, shabby-genteel quarter of the town, or miles and miles from anywhere, like Upper Grosvenor Place, where poor Augusta Sandhayes removed to when Sandhayes lost a great deal of money on ’Change and said they must hold household. And only think of the cost of the servants, and the carriages, and—and all the things I never have paid for!” Her eyes filled. “And when I consider that I have never been able to keep out of debt when I didn’t pay for such things, how could I possibly do so when I shall be obliged to?”
The question was unanswerable. Cressy sat back on her heels, a very thoughtful expression in her eyes, but she said nothing. The truth of Lady Denville’s words had struck home. She had not previously considered the matter; but she was well enough acquainted with her ladyship to realize that the income necessary to maintain her in the style to which she was accustomed must be far in excess of even the most handsome jointure. She realized, too, having a great deal of commonsense, that it would be folly to suppose that she would reduce her expenditure: she was quite incapable of doing so.
As though she had read the thought in Cressy’s mind, Lady Denville said: “It is of no use to tell me I must practise economy, because I can’t! Whenever I have tried to do so it has only led to much more expense. Denville’s sister—a most disagreeable woman, my love, besides being a nipcheese, which is much worse than being extravagant, because it makes everyone uncomfortable, on account of not employing a second footman, and serving horrid dinners—was used to prick at me, and instruct me in habits of economy, and I perceived then that I could never bring myself to practise such habits. I must own I could only be thankful when she died, for she never met me but what she asked me how much my dress had cost, and then said that I could have had one made for less than half the price. I know I could, but nothing would induce me to. You see, Cressy, ever since my come-out, people have said I was the best-dressed woman in London, and whenever I have gone to a party they looked to see what I was wearing, and how my hair was dressed, and—and copied me. I’ve led fashion, and I still do, so I couldn’t go to parties now, looking like a dowd! It is not that I am vain—at least, I don’t think I am—but—well, I can’t explain it to you! I dare say you might not understand—though you are always very well dressed yourself, dear one!”
“I do understand,” Cressy said. “Yes, and I couldn’t bear it if you were even the tiniest bit less—less exquisite, and nor could Evelyn and Kit! Godmama, you mustn’t set up your own establishment! Even if you could afford to do so, I am persuaded you wouldn’t like it. Consider how much you would miss having a gentleman to—to manage for you, and escort you to parties!”
“Well, I shouldn’t miss that,” said her ladyship candidly, “because I should still have plenty of gentlemen to escort me!”
“Yes, but no host for your own parties!” Cressy pointed out.
“No,” Lady Denville agreed. “That is the worst thing about being a widow. But in every other way it is most agreeable, I find. In fact, far more agreeable than being a wife! At least, it is for me, but not, of course, for you, dearest!” she hastened to add, with one of her lovely smiles. It faded; she looked stricken all at once, and older; and said: “I was forgetting. You see, it is of no consequence.” Two large tears welled over her eyelids, and rolled unheeded down her cheeks. She said sadly: “I have been such a bad mother, and I love them so very much!”
Cressy burst out laughing. “Godmama! Oh, I beg your pardon, but it is too absurd! Why, they adore you.”
Lady Denville carefully wiped the tears away. “I know they do, and I can’t think why they should—though I don’t think I have ruined Kit’s life. But when I saw Evelyn today—then I knew what a detestable parent I am!”