And at the graduation the next day, she looked at all of them, quietly. Anne, so impeccably dressed in her expensive clothes, with little diamonds sparkling at her ears, her arm tucked in Bill's, Vanessa so pretty and serious in her cap and gown, Valerie so incredibly beautiful it was startling except that she seemed unaware of it, which was wonderful, and Lionel, who looked happier than he had in two years. Faye wondered if there was a new man in his life, but she never wanted to ask, and of course neither did Ward. What he did was his own business now, he was twenty-five years old after all, and they had accepted him, as they had all of them, though some of that acceptance was still unilateral, Faye knew. She knew that Anne was still angry at her for the child she had given up … Val still jealous of her success … Vanessa had grown away from her now … and Lionel had his own life … poor Greg was gone. She missed him now, as she so often did, that shock of red hair, the passion for sports, the girls he loved to chase. He had been closer to Ward than to her, but he was her son too, and she tightened her hand on Ward's arm, knowing that he would be thinking of him too, and it was painful for both of them.
But it was all laughter and smiles that afternoon when they went to the Plaza to celebrate. Faye had arranged for a table covered with white flowers in the Edwardian Room, and Vanessa was stunned beyond words when Ward handed their graduation gift to her. They had debated about it long and hard, and they had finally decided to include Jason too. It was a way of giving their approval to her way of life. They had given her two tickets to Europe, with a fat check to cover all their fun, and reservations at some of the finest hotels. It was going to be a fabulous trip for both of them, and Faye was relieved to hear that Jason could get away too, as soon as they moved to SoHo the following week. He had quit his job to work full time on his play.
“Well, you two, that ought to keep you out of trouble for a while.” Ward smiled at them. He still wished they would get married, but it didn't seem to be in the cards. At least not yet. And he was also wondering about George Waterston and Val. George had gone off with his son for the afternoon, but Ward was aware that Valerie was staying with them, and he was curious about how far the involvement went, and he hadn't said a word about it all day. And then of course there were Bill and Anne. And he seemed to get on very well with the rest of the mob. Anne had invited Gail, and she sat chatting with Lionel. She was crazy about her studies in design, her summer job with Bill Blass this year. And Lionel was talking animatedly about the film he was working on. Everyone was happy and young. It warmed one's heart to look at them as Ward told Faye, as they strolled slowly back to the Pierre, and then suddenly he tucked her arm in his, and pulled her to one side, spoke to a man standing next to a hansom cab, and the next thing she knew, she was driving around Central Park, with Ward holding her hand. He kissed her gently once or twice and she smiled. She was still crazy about him after a lifetime. “I must say, that's quite a group we've got.” His mind ran over them again as they clomped along through the park, and Faye didn't disagree with him. She hadn't said much to Val, and she hoped that George would explain it to her. He knew her methods of working well. “You're better-looking than all of them though, babe.”
“Oh my love.” She kissed him and smiled. “Now I know you're as crazy as I always thought.”
“Just crazy about you.” He kissed her again then, and they held hands together for a long time, happy with each other and their lives. They had come a long, long way side by side.
CHAPTER 42
“Do you want to go to dinner tonight, sweetheart?” Anne shook her head as she lay on the bed at the Pierre. It had gone well after all, even though she really hadn't wanted to come, but Bill thought they should, and it was a good excuse to see Gail. Seeing Gail had been what finally convinced her. He even offered her a trip to Europe, with New York as a stop on the way, but she wasn't in the mood, and she was so tired again. She had been for months, ever since the first miscarriage. She never really seemed to have bounced back, and Bill worried about her.
“Why don't we order room service and eat here?” She knew that Gail was going somewhere with Lionel. She enjoyed his company and she had a lot of gay friends, Anne hadn't wanted to go along. She thought that Bill would be bored, and she knew she would too. And Jason and Vanessa were going to celebrate, Val had her movie star, and she had no desire to see her parents. Once in a day was more than enough for her. But Bill thought it a shame to waste a night in New York.
“Are you sure?”
“I really don't feel up to going out.”
“Do you feel sick?” It was beginning to remind him of when Gail's mother had first been sick, and he wanted her to go back to the doctor.
But when they got back the next week, she resisted him. “I don't need to see the doctor. I feel fine.” She looked at him stubbornly and he wouldn't give in to her this time. Some things were just too important to him, and she was the most important of all. He never wanted to lose her. Ever.
“You don't feel fine. You feel like hell. You wouldn't even go out with me in New York.” She had ordered room service and gone right to sleep, and she was doing almost the same thing every night. And he had the feeling she was sleeping all day too. “If you don't make an appointment yourself, I'll do it for you, Anne.” And in the end, that was exactly what he did. He made the appointment, pretended to pick her up for lunch, and took her to his doctor in Beverly Hills. She was furious.
“You lied to me!” It was one of the few times she had screamed at him, but he led her inside like a little girl, and she glowered at them both. But the doctor found nothing wrong with her. Her glands seemed fine, her chest was clear, her blood count was all right, and then without saying anything to them, he had an idea. He did the test with the blood he had taken from her arm, and he called Bill with the results that night, and he was stunned when he heard. Stunned and thrilled and afraid. She was pregnant again. This time he hadn't even thought of it. And he was afraid to put her through another disaster again.
“Just have her do what she's doing now. Her body knows what she needs. She needs lots of rest, good food, as little stress as possible. All she has to do is lie low for a couple of months and she'll be fine.” Bill nodded, and went into the other room to talk to her. She was watching TV, and she was thinking of calling Gail, and he encouraged her to now, with a quiet smile.
“I think you should, sweetheart.”
“How come?”
“To tell her the news.”
“What news?” Anne looked blank.
He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips, “The news that you're pregnant again.”
Her eyes grew wide. “I am? Who told you that?”
“The doctor just now. He just called. He didn't even tell us he was running the test, but you are.”
“I am?” She looked stunned and then suddenly she threw her arms around his neck, fighting back tears. “Oh Bill …” She didn't even dare say the words this time. She didn't even tell Gail. She didn't tell anyone, until the ominous three-month period had passed, and this time all went well. By September, the doctor was no longer concerned, and the baby was due in February, possibly on Valentine's Day. Her other child would have been five and a half years old by then, though neither of them mentioned that. They just talked about this child, and Bill knew how badly she wanted it. He treated her as though she were walking on eggs. They took no trips, barely went out, Anne rested constantly, and Bill spoiled her even more than he had before.
Faye called her several times, and told her she hoped it was all going well, but Anne's voice was cold on the phone. She and her mother had been through this before, and she remembered the pressure she had put on her then. She hated talking to her now, because it reminded her of it. She even hated talking to Lionel, because it reminded her of living with him and John, waiting for her first baby to be born.