“That’s a terrible thing to say to you. She can’t hold on to you by terror and guilt. That’s blackmail, not love,” Annie said, looking outraged.
“She doesn’t want to lose me. I think she’s already been through too much, with the divorce.” Ted tried to be understanding about it.
“Lots of people are divorced, Ted. They don’t go around threatening to kill themselves if their new relationships don’t work out. That’s sick.”
“I know.” He looked upset, and she didn’t want to criticize him for the mess he was in, he was rattled enough, and justifiably so.
“What can I do to help?” Annie said quietly. “Maybe you should try getting a little space from her now, before this gets any worse, or she gets more dependent on you than she already is. Are the kids aware of all this?” Ted shook his head.
“They’re sweet kids and I like them. They’re at their father’s whenever I stay over. They have joint custody. And he’s a pretty good dad. I want to be with her, Annie. I just don’t want it to be this intense.”
“Maybe that’s all she knows how to do. People like that worry me too. Try to take a little distance from her, for your own sake. Tell her you need it.”
“She goes insane when I do.” Annie was at a loss to tell him what to do. She had never dealt with anyone as unbalanced as that, and she was sad that Ted had gotten as deeply into it as he had. She had a strong sense that Pattie had manipulated him into it and knew exactly what she was doing. He was an innocent, and Pattie knew it too.
They talked about the relationship all through lunch, and Ted felt a little better when he went back to his own apartment, instead of Pattie’s. Annie had given him good advice. He called and told Pattie he was going to stay at his place that night. He said he had some things to do, and some papers to write. Annie had given him the courage to do that.
“You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?” Pattie accused him over the phone, and his heart sank.
“Of course not. I just have some stuff to do here.”
“Is it your aunt? Is that it? What did she do? Bribe you to stay away from me?” She sounded desperate and on the verge of hysterics. In a short time she had taken possession of his life. He had become her willing slave, and now in the face of her threats and accusations, he felt trapped.
“My aunt wouldn’t do something like that,” Ted said calmly. “She’s a wonderful woman. She’s concerned about us, but she respects my right to make my own choices and decisions. She’s not crazy, and she wouldn’t bribe me.”
“Are you suggesting I’m crazy?” she said, sounding very wound up. “Well, I’m not. I’m crazy about you, and I don’t want anyone interfering with us.”
“No one is. Just give it a rest. I’ll come over tomorrow. We can take the kids to the park.”
“They’re going to be with their father for the weekend.” There was a hopeful note in her voice when she said it, and he knew what that meant. Sexual acrobatics worthy of the Olympics for two days. He suddenly felt exhausted thinking about it, and yet he was instantly aroused when she said things like that. It was as though his body were betraying him and wanted her more than he did, and he no longer had a choice in the matter. His penis was addicted to her and taking orders from her.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promised, and lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had no idea what he was going to do, or even what he wanted to do. He belonged to her now. He felt possessed. Everything Annie had said to him at lunch made sense. But Pattie was in control, and he wasn’t. It felt like there was nothing he or Annie could do. Pattie was running the show.
A week after their first lunch, Tom Jefferson called Annie at her office again. He said he was in the neighborhood for a meeting, and he wondered if she wanted to have an impromptu lunch before he had to go back to the office. It sounded like fun to her, and he met her at the Café Cluny, which was one of her favorite haunts. He was waiting for her out front, and they walked in together. He was in good spirits. She was still on crutches, and his arm was still in a cast, but neither of them was hurting from their injuries anymore. He told her about a big story he was working on, and that he might have to go to California to spend time with the governor. She loved hearing about his work, and his old war stories. And when he talked about his experiences in the Middle East, she told him that Kate was dating a boy from Iran, and was in love with him.
He saw the tenderness in her eyes when she mentioned Katie, and it struck him that her nieces and nephew seemed to add a dimension in her life that was unfamiliar to him since he’d never had children. He could sense how much she loved them, and he had the feeling that her nieces and nephew had lives and opinions of their own.
“He’s a very nice boy,” she said about Paul. “Polite, kind, intelligent, thoughtful, good values, respectful. He’s every mother’s dream. But I’ve been concerned about her going out with someone whose background and culture are so different from her own, even if he’s very American and he’s lived here since he was fourteen. Ultimately their ideas might be very divergent. She’s a very liberated young woman. And her ideas can be very extreme at times. He seems a lot more conservative and traditional than she is. That might not work later, if there is a ‘later.’ And I get the feeling they’re very serious about each other.”
“What do his parents think?” Tom asked sensibly.
“I don’t know. I haven’t met them. Kate’s pretty New Age, with a dozen pierced earrings and a couple of tattoos. She’s working in a tattoo parlor right now. If his parents are surviving that, they must be more liberal than I am. I almost had a heart attack when she told me about her job. She considers it an internship in graphic arts.” Tom laughed at the idea and could imagine what she looked like.
“Are Kate and Paul that serious about each other? Are they talking marriage?” It was a reasonable question, given her concerns.
“No. They’re very young,” Annie said, smiling at him. “She’s only twenty-one, and he’s twenty-three. I think it’s first love for both of them. They’re both pretty naïve. It’s hard to take them too seriously, but I still worry. And I think I’d be concerned about any boy, from anywhere. I don’t want her to get her heart broken, or get into a situation she’ll regret later, that could lead to heartbreak for both of them.”
“Don’t forget Romeo and Juliet. Kids can get pretty crazy when they’re young. But if you say he’s a nice kid, I’m sure they’ll be fine. She’s probably more sensible than you think.”
She told him about Ted then and the older woman and how concerned she was about it. “Women like that can be dangerous,” Tom said seriously. “She sounds obsessive.” She did to Annie too, and she hadn’t stopped thinking about it since she’d seen them together and then had lunch with Ted, and he had been candid with Annie about his own concerns. “They keep you busy, don’t they?”
“More so now than when they were younger. They took more time then with Little League and soccer games and ballet classes. But now they worry me more. The decisions they have to make are so much bigger, and the risks to them are greater. And they don’t always see that and the dangers they’re facing.” She looked worried as she said it. “And my older niece is commitment phobic and a workaholic. I feel more and more helpless as they get older.”
“Yeah, but it’s their lives, not yours,” Tom reminded her gently.
“That’s easy to say and not so easy to live with,” Annie said with a wistful expression.
“Maybe if you cultivate more of a life of your own,” Tom suggested cautiously, “they’ll become more independent. You can’t be there for them forever, at the expense of your own life. Sixteen years is a long time.” She didn’t disagree with him, but she couldn’t imagine unhooking from them now. And he surprised her with his next question. “Do you think there’s room for a man in your life now, Annie? It sounds like you’ve waited a long time to have a life of your own.” He had figured that out from all that she had told him. “Maybe you don’t think you deserve one. It sounds like you’ve fulfilled your promise to your sister. You can’t give up your own life for them forever.” She nodded. She knew what he said was true. She just didn’t know how to do it, or when.