"Yes," said he. "To give to her as soon as she claps eyes on you. They're her weakness. I want you two to be real pals."
"All right," said Rosie, who was the best-hearted girl in the world.
The next moment they turned into the yard: there was the caravan. "Oh, it's lovely!" cried Rosie.
"Now you'll see her," said Fred.
At the sound of his voice a falsetto squeal rose from within.
"Here we are, old lady," said Fred, opening the door. "Here's a friend of mine come to help look after you. Look, she's brought you something you'll fancy."
Rosie saw a middle-sized pig, flesh-coloured, neat, and with a smart collar. It had a small and rather calculating eye. Rosie offered the chocolates; they were accepted without any very effusive acknowledgment
Fred put the old horse in, and soon they were off, jogging up the long hills to the west. Rosie sat beside Fred on the driving seat; Mary took her afternoon nap. Soon the sky began to redden where the road divided the woods on the far hill-top. Fred turned into a green lane, and they made their camp.
He lit the stove, and Rosie put on the potatoes. They took a lot of peeling, for it seemed that Mary ate with gusto. Rosie put a gigantic rice pudding into the oven, and soon had the rest of the meal prepared.
Fred set the table. He laid three places.
"I say," said Rosie.
"What?" said Fred.
"Does she eat along with us?" said Rosie. "A pig?"
Fred turned quite pale. He beckoned her outside the caravan. "Don't say a thing like that," said he. "She won't never take to you if you say a thing like that. Didn't you see her give you a look?"
"Yes, I did," said Rosie. "All the same Well, never mind, Fred. I don't care, really. I just thought I did."
"You wait," said Fred. "You're thinking of ordinary pigs. Mary's different"
Certainly Mary seemed a comparatively tidy eater. All the same, she gave Rosie one or two very odd glances from under her silky, straw-coloured lashes. She seemed to hock her rice pudding about a bit with the end of her nose.
"What's up, old girl?" said Fred. "Didn't she put enough sugar in the pudden? Never mind can't get everything right first time."
Mary, with a rather cross hiccup, settled herself on her bunk. "Let's go out," said Rosie, "and have a look at the moon."
"I suppose we might," said Fred. "Shan't be long, Mary. Just going about as far as that gate down the lane." Mary granted morosely and turned her face to the wall.
Rosie and Fred went out and leaned over the gate. The moon, at least, was all that it should be.
"Seems funny, being married and all," said Rosie softly.
"Seems all right to me," said Fred.
"Remember them crosses you drew in the dirt in the road that day?" said Rosie.
"That I do," said Fred.
"And all them you put in the letters?" said Rosie.
"All of 'em," said Fred. "I remember every one."
"Kisses, that's what they're supposed to stand for," said Rosie.
"So they say," said Fred.
"You haven't given me one, not since we was married," said Rosie. "Don't you like it?"
"That I do," said Fred. "Only, I don't know "
"What?" said Rosie.
"It makes me feel an queer," said Fred, "when I kiss you. As if I wanted "
"What?" said Rosie.
"I dunno," said Fred. "I don't know if it's I want to eat you all up, or what"
"Try and find out, they say," said Rosie.
A delicious moment followed. In the very middle of it a piercing squeal rose from the caravan. Fred jumped as if he were shot.
"Oh, dear!" he cried. "She's wondering what's up. Here I come, old girl! Here I come! It's her bedtime, you see. Here I come to tuck you in!"
Mary, with an air of some petulance, permitted this process. Rosie stood by. "I suppose we'd better make it lights out," said Fred. "She likes a lot of sleep, you see, being a brain worker."
"Where do we sleep?" said Rosie.
"I made the bunk all nice for you this morning," said Fred. "Me, I'm going to doss below. A sack full of straw, I've got"
"But " said Rosie. "But "
"But what?" said he.
"Nothing," said she. "Nothing."
They turned in. Rosie lay for an hour or two, thinking what thoughts I don't know. Perhaps she thought how charming it was that Fred should have lived so simple and shy and secluded all these years, and yet be so knowing about so many things, and yet be so innocent, and never have been mixed up in bad company It is impossible to say what she thought.
In the end she dozed off, only to be wakened by a sound like the bagpipes of the devil himself. She sat up, terrified. It was Mary,
"What's up? What's up?" Fred's voice came like the ghost's in Hamlet from under the floor. "Give her some milk," he said.
Rosie poured out a bowl of milk. Mary ceased her fiendish racket while she drank, but the moment Rosie had blown out the light, and got into bed again, she began a hundred times worse than before.
There were rumblings under the caravan. Fred appeared in the doorway, half dressed and with a straw in his hair.
"She will have me," he said, in great distress.
"Can't you Can't you lie down here?" said Rosie.
"What? And you sleep below?" said Fred, astounded.
"Yes," said Rosie, after a rather long pause. "And me sleep below."
Fred was overwhelmed with gratitude and remorse. Rosie couldn't help feeling sorry for him. She even managed to give him a smile before she went down to get what rest she could on the sack of straw.
In the morning, she woke feeling rather dejected. There was a mighty breakfast to be prepared for Mary; afterwards Fred drew her aside.
"Look here," he said. "This won't do. I can't have you sleeping on the ground, worse than a gippo. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to get up my acrobat stuff again. I used to make a lot that way, and I like it fine. Hand springs, double somersaults, bit of conjuring: it went down well. Only I didn't have time to keep in practice with Mary to look after. But if you'd do the looking after her, we'd make it a double turn, and soon we'd have a good bit of cash. And then "
"Yes?" said Rosie.
"Then," said Fred, "I could buy you a trailer."
"All right," said Rosie, and turned away. Suddenly she turned back with her face flaming. "You may know a lot about pigs," she said bitterly. "And about somersaults, and conjuring, and baskets, and brooms and I don't know what-all. But there's one thing you don't know." And with that she went off and cried behind a hedge.
After a while she got the upper hand of it, and came back to the caravan. Fred showed her how to give Mary her morning bath, then the depilatory that was very hard on the hands then the rubbing with Cleopatra Face Cream and not on her face merely then the powdering, then the manicuring and polishing of her trotters.
Rosie, resolved to make the best of it, conquered her repugnance, and soon mastered these handmaidenly duties. She was relieved at first that the spoiled pig accepted her ministrations without protest. Then she noticed the gloating look in its eye.
However, there was no time to brood about that. No sooner was the toilet finished than it was time to prepare the enormous lunch. After lunch Mary had her little walk, except on Saturdays when there was an afternoon show, and after the walk she took her rest. Fred explained that during this period she liked to be talked to, and to have her back scratched a bit. Mary had quite clearly decided that in the future she was going to have it scratched a lot. Then she had her massage. Then tea, then another little walk, or the evening show, according to where they were, and then it was time to prepare dinner. At the end of the day Rosie was thankful to curl up on her poor sack of straw.