FeeTwix Fajer Level 9 Berserker Mystic
HP: 187/255
ATK: 71
MATK: 24
DEF: 44
MDF: 28
LUCK: 12
Hiccup Level 9 Shield Thief
HP: 350/350
ATK: 65
MATK: 24
DEF: 83
MDF: 47
LUCK: 8
Tritania is different from other VRMMORPG dreamworlds, which allow for extreme stat customization. The Proxima developers who originated this world wanted everyone – from the newest noob to the Proxima lifer – to be able to immerse themselves completely, and their surprising way to accomplish this was to keep the stats incredibly simple.
To do so, the developers based Tritania’s base mechanics off JRPGs from the 1980s and 1990s, where a player didn’t have a say in their deciding their attributes. They then merged this with newer MMORPG concepts, with their tailored skills based on character choices.
The early test results were stunning.
An ode to simplicity, Tritania’s mechanics quickly became something that was truly life-like for the end user. Just like in the real world, one couldn’t simply add points to a certain stat, yet they could get good at something and they could, through practice and repetition and chance, develop new skills. Tritania’s original mechanics also mirrored JRPGs with a turn-based battle system, which was something that was nixed through the reboot in the 2060s.
“Anything interesting happen out there in your other world?” Hiccup drops the empty vial on the ground and lets out a belch that rattles the chainmail vest he’s recently acquired.
“Nothing.” Ryuk swallows his recent humiliation. “Nothing at all. Just had some dinner. What’s the status on the dream armor? Any leads?”
“Trust me,” Hiccup assures him, “if either Twixy or me got some dream armor, we’d be fickin’ wearing it by now, ain’t that right, Twixster?”
“You are fickin’ correct.”
“It’s catching on!” Hiccup pumps his fists in the air. “Finally!”
Ryuk shakes his head.
Hiccup’s usage of ‘fick’ is the last thing he hopes will catch on. The damn Mind Mage that cast this spell on the entire goblin population really didn’t think it through. Better to just stop them from even conceptualizing the idea of cursing altogether, but knowing goblins, they’d figure something else out pretty quickly.
“Let me see … ” FeeTwix scrolls through his list, equips an air horn, and holds it above his head. “Just something I picked up at one of those back alley weapon sellers in Jatla. They have tons of schwag!” FeeTwix admires the air horn and briefly shows it to his audience. “Supposedly, it attracts enemies. Let’s try it out.”
The horn lets loose a tremendous WHO-O-O-N-K and Hiccup nearly jumps out of his ill-fitting armor.
“Fickin’ fickered ficktwat! Give me a warning next time, why don’t ya!?”
The ground rumbles as a creature smashes out of the misty surroundings, stomps its feet, and points a long staff at the three Mitherfickers. Its stats appear:
Tuskarr Level 9
HP: 220/220
MANA: 56/56
ATK: 38
MATK: 73
DEF: 5
MDF: 31
LUCK: 4
The tusks of the aeros-sized humanoid walrus are coveted for their magical properties, and Ryuk wonders why it’s here, so far away from water. The creature gives its staff a menacing twirl and shoots the three its surliest, most cantankerous scowl.
“Wait!” Hiccup puts his hand up. “Let’s make sure he isn’t a friendly.”
The Goblin plasters on his biggest, fakest grin and walks up, hands empty. “Heya, pal, just checking to see if you’re really up to this. I like you, Tusky, really I do. I had a friend who was a Tuskarr; boy could that big ficker throw back the Horse Piss. And he was generous, jeezly fick was he generous. All this to say, there’s something about your big yellow eyes, the white mustache that hangs over your tusks that reminds me of my friend.” Hiccup sniffles. “Go! Go! TWIXY, GO! MARBLES, GO! FICKIN’ KILL THE FICKER!”
Ryuk looses a combo of clear and black marbles. The black marble explodes with minimal effect; the clear marble hits and a tremendous stone block drops onto the tuskarr’s head and crumbles into sand.
-49 HP!
The anthropomorphic walrus twists his staff and zaps Hiccup with a beam of orange and yellow light.
“Yoy!” Hiccup’s eyes roll into the back of his head; he froths at the mouth, shivers and twitches.
“Oh shit … ” FeeTwix lifts his hand and scrolls through his list. “Hiccup’s turned!”
The now-frothing goblin charges; FeeTwix flips the temporary turncoat facedown.
The Swede places his knee on the back of Hiccup’s neck as he equips heavy duty flex-cuffs and secures the goblin’s paws behind his back. “That’ll hold him,” he announces to his audience as he removes knee from neck and straightens up.
With the speed of a striking cobra, Hiccup pivots on his round little goblin belly, sinks his blunt yellow teeth into FeeTwix’s ankle and drags him to the ground.
“Dammit!”
As his two teammates roll around, Ryuk lobs two black marbles at the tuskarr’s feet for a little distraction action, zigzags to the left, and lets go with another clear marble.
The wild card marble surprises him yet again as the Great Wave of Kanagawa levels the tuskarr, swooshing the creature away as the magnificent waves wash over him.
-15 HP!
Ryuk aims two black marbles at the spot where the tuskarr should be and …
He glances left and right – no tuskarr. FeeTwix and the still flexi-cuffed Hiccup are mud-wrestling in the wave’s residue, but that’s about it.
Ryuk’s life bar flashes: -6 HP!
The tuskarr appears to his left; his four-fingered hand strokes the air as he casts his spell.
DisNike Vader™ choke!
A sponsored attack? Ryuk instinctively raises his free hand to his throat as an invisible force squeezes his neck. -7 HP! With no other option, Choking Ryuk palms a clear marble, pulls back on his slingshot, and looses it at the Tuskarr.
The creature’s spell-casting hand explodes with a purpley-green flash. -96 HP! The pressure on his neck immediately subsides.
FeeTwix finally gets his ankle out from between Hiccup’s gnashers.
He rolls out of the mud and equips a heavy wool blanket, tosses it over Uncle Goblin, and rolls him up like a dog meat street burrito. After a couple of wraps of hot pink duct tape to keep him secure, FeeTwix places one foot on the struggling, bound goblin, shoots Ryuk a grin, and rolls him away.
“Fick you, you fickin’ fickers! Fickery! Fick-faced fick bags!” Like some vulgar goblin tamale, Hiccup continues to scream and curse from within the wooly depths.
The tuskarr snuffles and moans; he’s on his knees and clenches the stump of his wrist with his other hand.
Ryuk: I’ll finish him off.
FeeTwix: Have at it!
Ryuk places a black marble in the slingshot’s pouch, draws and aims. The tuskarr’s features run like water, swirl, and coalesce into the face of the Thulean who attacked him in his room, in the real world. He pauses and the creature’s face swirls again; now it wears his brother’s face.
“Kodai?”
It can’t be. He shakes his head, steadies his gaze, and pulls back even harder on his magic slingshot. Fury rolls over him as he looses the marble.