FeeTwix’s eyes flicker as he scans messages from his fans. “Dirty Dave’s Barbeque? He’s a marketing genius! He’s got weapons covered, comfort food, illegal substances … Boy, does Dave have his hands in a lot of pies!”
“They don’t sell pies, Twixy, you vain fickwad. And say it with me, innocent until proven guilty. Any-fickin’-hoo, it’s time to slam! I’ll catch up with you fickers later,” Hiccup says as a bib appears around his neck. He shoulders past the Swede, a proverbial fire lit under his ass. The robust goblin moves faster than he’s ever moved, as if he’s suddenly dropped a hundred years, a hundred kilos, and picked up a pair of expensive DisNike tone-as-you-walk shoes.
“You guys have never heard of DD’s BBQ?” Enway looks at the four with disbelief on her face. “It is everywhere in Polynya, practically on every corner.”
“Like McStarbucks in Tokyo,” Ryuk says under his breath.
“And McStarbucks in Sweden,” FeeTwix chimes in.
“And McStarbucks in Mexico City,” adds Enway.
The three look to Zaena. “I don’t drink coffee,” she says, “but I have been to the new McStarbucks in Athos. They make tea out of Aramis weed that is very, very potent.”
(0)__(0)
“Again, I apologize for, um, our goblin,” Ryuk says, as the four approach a shop with a red door with the bright turquoise words RELICS ‘R’ US carved above it.
They stand at the top of the hill now, and from his vantage point, Ryuk can see very clearly how the village is built on the slopes of the mountains. The rest of the mountain village is scattered into the valley below, its most remarkable feature the dozens upon dozens of bell towers that crowd the airspace.
Enway produces a keychain and as she goes to jam it in the keyhole, all the bells of Katiyana ring simultaneously. They keep ringing, a cacophony of bright metal tones.
“What’s that?” Ryuk asks as she finishes unlocking the door.
Before she can answer him, a wave of green magic lightly spreads over the streets. It glitters as it touches the soil, disappearing into the ground.
“The high elves of Katiyana set up a series of hexes to protect the town from evil forces and algospells.”
“And they do nothing to this wolf you are dealing with?” FeeTwix asks.
“No.” The tall elven woman grins softly as she watches more of the green magic. Her long ears flatten a bit and perk back up as she inhales deeply. “I love this time of day. Can’t you feel it?”
Zaena shakes her head. “I can’t feel anything, but magic has never been my forte.”
“Come,” Enway says as she swings the door wide open, “I will make you some tea as we await the wolf and the goblin.”
“Do you think he’ll find the place?” Ryuk asks. “Not that it’d be bad thing to have an evening without Hiccup. It would at least smell better.”
FeeTwix laughs. “Ryuk is becoming funnier, everyone!” He aims his black peepers at Ryuk and stares just long enough to make the Ballistics Mage uncomfortable.
Enway leads them into a cramped shop filled with all sorts of trinkets and gadgets. It’s cramped yet organized, not quite a hoarder’s den but not far off.
FeeTwix’s mirror comes up. “Okay everyone, we have some top secret business to get down to so I’m going incognito for a moment! I’ve got a new contest up, see if you can figure it out. Hint – check my videos from Dead City. That’s all I’m saying! I’ll announce the winner of the three month TwitchTube Red subscription in the next thirty minutes, so stay tuned!”
His eyes flash blue and he exhales audibly. “Whew, it does get tiring though. I’m always, always on.” A look of realization flashes across his face. “Sorry, where were we?”
Zaena grabs his hand and kisses his cheek. “Relax, dear,” she whispers.
“Please join me in the back, there’s more space here.” Enway leads the three into a small room with a few old sofas pressed against the wall. Ryuk sits down and a cloud of dust rises off the seat cushion.
“I really need to clean,” she says, “but I’ve been busy hunting relics and artifacts.”
“Do you do this full time?” FeeTwix plops down and lays his head back. Zaena curls up next to him like a cat.
“I do,” says Enway. “I have some other associates as well, mostly in Hyperborea, but also one in Bluwid. We trade stock, share profits, but we stick to Tritania, unlike other Proxima Smugglers.”
“But with your network of smugglers you can get anything, correct?”
“Within reason.”
FeeTwix’s shattered Reaper skull takes shape in his hands.
Ryuk remembers him using it back in the Jatla Forest, and he knows enough about the Reapers to know that they have something to do with the Knights of Non Compos Mentis, his former guild, but that’s about the extent of his knowledge.
Zaena steps back and crosses her arms over her chest. She has grown more comfortable with the alien weapons FeeTwix is fond of, but she was never a fan of the strange skull, which allows FeeTwix to see the very gridlines that make up Tritania.
“I only have half the skull,” FeeTwix tells Enway. “I’ve been meaning to get a strap for it, so I can at least use it in a combat situation if necessary, but I’m hoping to get the other part if I can.”
“Where did you pick that up?” Enway asks, her eyes narrowing at the partial skull.
“A Proxima world known as Steam,” FeeTwix says after he hands it to her. “Specifically, in a contraband shop in the prison city known as Akrasia.”
“Interesting.” Enway runs her fingers along the jagged edges of the skull. She brings its single eye up, takes a look and nods. She places it on a table and moves to a back room. After rummaging around for a moment, she returns with a small wooden box.
Enway opens the box to reveal another piece of a Reaper’s skull, this portion a cracked frontal bone that is connected to a parietal bone with a reinforced hole drilled in it. “It’s not the full piece,” Enway says, “and you’d still be missing an eye and the other side of the skull, but I think if we connect yours to this one and get a leather strap made, it’ll be more usable. Actually, I already have a strap that will work.”
“Sure! Let me know what I owe you.”
“Consider it a gift to your guild,” she says, “for helping me back in Aramis.”
FeeTwix and Enway work on the skull for the next thirty minutes. They use a bottle of Gorilla glue that the Swede procures from his list to attach the two skull portions and as it hardens, Enway works on adding some holes to the short leather strap she found to use as the headband. Once it is finished, FeeTwix places the half-skull over his face.
“Pretty fickin’ cool, eh, Ryuk?” he says, bowing to Ryuk.
“It looks pretty creepy.”
“What are you talking about? It looks fierce! And boy, do you look crazy through this thing!”
The skull mask now covers the left side of his face, à la the Phantom of the Opera. His overcoat completes the look, especially if he ever decides to pop his collar. “What do you think, babe?”
“Please, no skull masks in the house.”
“I’m just testing it … ” He leaps back. “Holy shit! You were just about to slap me with your ghost limb, weren’t you?”
Zaena looks away. “Maybe.”
“I can … I can see them with this on! Ryuk, check this out!”
Ryuk glances at Zaena, whose stone-cold visage isn’t very hard to decipher. “I believe you.”
“I need some air.” Zaena storms out of the room and FeeTwix follows after her, his mask suddenly off his head.
“Wait, babe. Don’t get offended!”
Yangu, who now rests in a basket provided by Enway, rolls over and comes alive. The baby dragon yawns and exhales a big cloud of blue smoke.
“Let’s take him outside to go potty,” Enway says, “while those two finish their discussion in private.”