(0)__(x)
Yangu, or Snowballs as Hiccup has started calling him, rummages around in Enway’s small backyard. The cute baby dragon flaps his wings, goes after a small mountain beetle and freezes it solid.
Instakill!
“Wow!” Ryuk says, picking up the beetle.
“Just wait,” says Enway. “He’ll be a big dragon sooner than later, then he’ll be able to freeze an entire army solid. I’d say he’ll be speaking in a week, and then you’ll know more about his personality. A dragon’s youth is short-lived in Tritania, mostly because of player impatience. Imagine having to have a dragon for three real world years as it matures into an adult.”
“That’d be a while.”
Cold air blows over her yard. Ryuk shivers and Enway places a friendly hand on his shoulder. “You want a jacket?”
“Me?” He kicks at the ground. “No, no, I’m fine. No worries. Just wasn’t expecting the coldness.”
“The mountains get very cold at night,” she says, turning away.
Ryuk changes the subject away from his sudden display of weakness. “Are you sure that the city elders will allow us entry to the catacombs if we kill the wolf?”
“I never said I was sure, but a few of the elders owe me a favor, so yeah, I wouldn’t worry about getting permission. That wolf has been terrorizing us for three weeks now and there’s nothing anyone has been able to do about it. But let’s make it official.” Enway reaches into a pouch on her belt and unfolds a piece of parchment. “Here.”
The words take shape on the piece of parchment, drying as soon as they appear.
Quest: Will you drive the wolf from the city of Katiyana in exchange for access to the catacombs?
Rewards: A back way into the city of Porthos.
Risks: Being mauled to death by a wolf.
“That’s one way to put it,” Ryuk mumbles.
“Well, do you accept?”
“Definitely, we need this.”
“What is it your guild is up to anyway?” she asks. “You haven’t been very clear about that, only that you want to get to Porthos.”
“Well, I can’t really quite answer that question. Just trust me, we need to get there.”
Yangu’s stomach grumbles.
“Have you fed the dragon?” she asks suddenly.
“Ummm … ” Ryuk shrugs. “It’s the first dragon I’ve had; I was unaware I was supposed to feed it or what I was supposed to feed it exactly. You’d think someone would have reminded me to feed it.” He suddenly feels incredibly stupid. “Yeah, I probably should have figured that out on my own.”
She laughs. “You’re cute, you know that? I’ll make him something.”
Cute?
As Enway reenters her home, Zaena exits, still a little peeved about FeeTwix’s Reaper mask.
“I just don’t like it,” she tells Ryuk. “All this alien technology is … ”
“It’s helpful,” he tells her. “Usually.”
She sighs, somewhat defeated. “I know it is.”
Ryuk glances over her shoulder and sees FeeTwix inside doing an ad read.
“What’s he advertising now?” Ryuk asks.
“I don’t think it is an ad this time. Something about a TwitchTube Red subscription winner. Your world,” Zaena’s slitted orange eyes widen, “sounds like it would be very, very crazy to visit.”
Ryuk half-smiles at her. “Not as fun as this world.”
FeeTwix is interrupted by a knock at the door, and lo and behold, Hiccup enters, his belly looking a good forty centimeters girthier than it normally is. FeeTwix greets him with open arms and the goblin bats him away. The Swede points out a barbeque smudge on the goblin’s cheek and Hiccup uses the end of FeeTwix’s overcoat to wipe it off.
“That damn goblin,” Zaena says as she takes a few steps in front of Ryuk. “I don’t know what it is I like about him.”
“I don’t think any of us do.”
The Thulean walks like a tigress, slinking her shoulders as she moves. She drops to her haunches in front of Yangu and coos at the baby dragon for a moment. “Do you remember what happened yesterday,” she asks, “at that Player Killer guildhall?”
“You mean when you were poisoned by that old mage?”
“Yes,” she says, not taking her eyes off the baby dragon. “Are you sure I didn’t say anything to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did I say anything about, um, anything about my life?”
Ryuk thinks back, skipping over the painful memory of Tamana slaying him. He rewinds all the action, from the fight with the ninjas on the rooftop to leaping between the two walls separating the guildhalls and being caught by Zaena’s ghost limbs. He arrives at poisoned Zaena just before Hiccup appeared and rescued her.
“Nothing,” he says. “All you said was ‘there are things about me you don’t know,’ or something to that effect.”
“Good.”
He cracks a half-grin. “Are you, um, trying to tell me something?”
“Let’s go inside and pester the goblin.” She picks up Yangu and cradles the baby dragon in her arms.
As Ryuk turns to the back entrance to the house, he receives a message from Hajime.
Hajime: First, you were supposed to log out to meet with me.
Ryuk: It’s been a longish day. Got into some things.
Hajime: That’s fine. I will wait for you to log out tonight to speak with you. Satomi contacted me.
My mother’s assistant? Ryuk stops dead in his tracks.
Hajime: Your mother would like to meet you and your brother for lunch tomorrow.
Chapter 10: Someone’s Little Blow-up Doll
“Fick no, Twixy, I’m not dressing up like a fickin’ sheep.” The goblin points his brass finger at the Swede. “I don’t know why the Mitherfickers keep getting the idea that I’m someone’s little blow-up doll that they can dress however they’d fickin’ like. I already wore a fickin’ tutu yesterday!”
FeeTwix laughs. “I don’t think you know what a blow-up doll is.”
“Like fick I do!” Hiccup plops down onto the couch, evacuates his colon, widens his eyes as he scoots around to see if he made a mess in his britches, realizes he didn’t, and equips a dog-eared copy of The Well of Loneliness. “This conversation is over.” A pair of reading glasses appears over the bridge of his nose and he focuses on the book.
“Fine, fine.” FeeTwix looks around for a place to lay out his weapons. Enway’s home is cluttered, full of books and small boxes covered in a layer of dust. He wipes away the surface of a side table and equips two shooting irons, one of which Ryuk has seen before. “Remember this one, babe?”
He places his bolonet rifle on the table. The blunderbuss fires a net made of diamond razor wire, which they used back in Sotla to pin Zaena down before she joined up.
“How could I forget the time you netted me?”
“Is that like ‘you had me at hello?’” FeeTwix asks. He smiles at her, and she returns his smile.
The next weapon is shaped like a primitive arcade gun. It’s orange, appears to be made of plastic, and as FeeTwix loads the magazine in, a circular light above the grip flashes blue.
“And that is?” Ryuk asks.
“This something I had custom made in Dead City. It’s supposed to look like the Duck Hunter gun. It fires a bullet that imbeds a GPS tracker in the assaultee’s body. Then you run your finger over the blue light to track it. Hiccup, care to test this out with me?”
“I swear on the Empress and her oversized mammaries,” Hiccup grits, “if you shoot me with that thing, we’ll have real problems, Twixy.” He looks at the Swede over the rim of his reading glasses. “I’ll split your chalupa with my tomahawk while you sleep.”