“Shall we wake the others? I would keep your levitation act from the goblin for the time being. It may be useful in scaring him later on.” She grins wickedly. “I can think of a pretty funny prank we could play with a white bed sheet.”
“Yeah, that’d be good.” Ryuk laughs as one of the herders across the way mounts his griffin. The griffin flaps its wings and soon the herder is airborne.
“Let’s wake them; I’d like to be in Porthos by this afternoon if we can manage it.”
As they approach the yurt, the strong smell of coffee meets their noses. They enter to find FeeTwix in an apron with a box of cereal across the front that reads, ‘Cereal Killer.’ He points to a tray of pastries now sitting on a foldable table and a French Press filled with boiling hot coffee.
“Breakfast is served!”
“Where did you get the pastries?” Zaena asks as a small croissant floats into the air.
“Just something I keep in my list,” he says.
“And they stay fresh?” asks Ryuk.
“You tell me.”
Zaena takes a bite and nods. “This is so good!” she says with her mouth full.
“For fick’s sake, people, it’s not even the Hour of the fickin’ Faun.” The goblin stirs and once he’s able, he slips into his Japanese clogs.
“Wow, Hiccup!” FeeTwix moves over to him. “I didn’t even see those sweet shoes, buddy! Why in the hell are you wearing those?”
“They help with my posture, Twixy!” Hiccup turns and gives the Swede a side view. “They’re supposed to help me get taller too. Anyfick, gotta take a piss and we’ll see what else comes up. Ha! Back in a jiffy, fickers. One more thing, if you’re making breakfast, Twixy, try to boil me up any of the parts you can find from the big ass bird we killed last night. There’s got to be some organ meat left over. That’s good eating!”
With that, the goblin clomps out of the yurt, and for once, doesn’t do so with a parting poot.
(0)__(0)
It takes a little over two hours for the four Mitherfickers to reach the place they left Oric, Enway, and Wolf. The walk over is nice, even with Hiccup and Liz arguing this time about Dirty Dave’s innocence, the best way to skin a cat, discrimination in the goblin community, the uppityness of Thuleans, and a bunch of other topics that Ryuk tunes out.
“Finally,” Hiccup says as they see Wolf in the distance.
“He’s actually waving his tail this time,” FeeTwix comments as the big black canine comes towards them. “I don’t know what has come over him, but somehow, I think it has to do with food.”
Wolf merrily leads them along the path and Ryuk quickly sees why. Up ahead, Enway stands before a fire, grilling a Chiup hog on a rotisserie.
“Get in my belly!” Hiccup licks his lips and practically joins Wolf in the mad dash back to the side of the grill. “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” he says to Enway.
The elf laughs and pats him on his head. “Soon, Hiccup, and you can thank DD’s BBQ for setting this up. Funniest thing happened,” she says as she tilts her head to the right. “I was sitting in my living room minding Yangu ... ”
“Snowballs,” Hiccup corrects her. “The name ‘Yangu’ means nothing to me.”
“... And I heard a knock at the door. The manager from DD’s BBQ was there with a whole crew, telling me that someone had booked the rotisserie and a hog for our breakfast meeting. They even carried it up here! Talk about getting hooked up!”
Enway turns and Ryuk spots Yangu in her backpack. The baby dragon locks eyes with him and yawns.
The goblin pumps his mechanical arm in the air. “Shit, fickers, we got a mysterious sponsor!”
“It may have been one of my fans,” FeeTwix says as a mirror takes shape in his hand. “If you’re the person who oh-so-generously hooked us up, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” He bows at the mirror.
“Fick them,” Hiccup says, inching closer to the spinning hunk of pork, “it was probably Dirty Dave. I had a feeling he’s a fan. See, Lizzy, I keep telling you he’s a high-quality guy.”
“It’s not ready yet,” Enway tells him.
“I like my pork rare!”
Oric Rune leans against the rockface, his long brown hair covering the side of his face. He smiles at the bunch and takes a few hobbling steps towards them. “Were you able to get it?” he coughs.
“We certainly were,” Zaena says. Once she’s pulled it out of her list, she places the lily pads on a flat rock.
“Keep an eye on the pig,” Enway tells FeeTwix, who immediately gets the double-meaning of her statement. The Swede looks from Wolf to the goblin as a flyswatter materializes in his hand.
“Hands off, Hiccup!” He swats away Hiccup’s mechanical fingers, allowing Enway to move over to the lily pads.
Enway takes off her bag and hands it to Ryuk. Yangu coos as his red eyes spot his master. “Do you mind holding him for a moment?”
“Sure.” Ryuk steps away from the group, not sure of how he should be interacting with the baby ice dragon. He’s never been around babies, human or animal, and he’s anxious for the dragon to grow larger and start to communicate with him.
But just staring into the dragon’s deep red eyes softens his heart. The creature makes a soft sound with its throat, parts its lips, and blows a curl of icy cold air at Ryuk.
“You’re not too bad, you know that?” He pats the dragon on the head and smiles. “I have a feeling you aren’t going to be so cute when you get older, though.”
Zaena joins him. “He won’t be cuter, but he will be fiercer,” she says. “He will also be large enough for us to ride, which will give us great mobility. And he can aid us in battle, if it ever comes to that.”
“That reminds me …” Ryuk puts the backpack on, signals for Zaena to follow him, and moves back over to Oric. “Since you are from Unigaea,” he tells the muscular warrior, “I was wondering if you could look at her necklace and possibly tell us what it means.”
Oric’s eyes go wide as soon as he sees Zaena pull the necklace out from her armor. “I’ll help you in any way I can,” he says suddenly, his face white.
“You recognize it?” She removes the necklace with her ghost limbs and lifts it up into the air and over to Oric.
He holds it in his palm for a moment, closes his eyes and sighs deeply. “Another time,” he mumbles, “another place.” He dangles it in the air and she takes it back. “I have one just like it, but its powers don’t work here in Tritania. It used to modify speed, now it just looks pretty.”
A matching necklace appears in his trembling hand.
“It looks almost the exact same,” Ryuk says as he comes forward to examine it.
“Both were made by Olivas, a famous poet and jewelry smith from Unigaea, my world.” Sadness paints across his face. “Ah, but that was then, and Tritania is a great world too, if one isn’t sick.” He hands Zaena’s necklace back to her. “My offer still stands – I’ll help you in any way I can.”
“Not anytime soon you won’t.” Enway has begun laying out the lily pads to dry them. “Emil’s Sickness will take at least a day, if not more, to go away.”
“I can make the medicine myself,” he tells her. “I used to be an herbalist.”
“I used to be a fickin’ male model,” Hiccup calls over, “but you don’t hear me rattling off about my glory days.”
“Ignore him,” Zaena says, her eyes suddenly orange slits.
“You can hardly stand,” Enway tells Oric as she flattens out another lily pad. “Like I said, it’ll take up to two days for the medicine to completely heal you. Until that time, you should rest. Emil’s Sickness poisons the blood, which in your case directly affects your D-NAS. It prevents a player from ever regaining their stamina.”
“So he has an STD.” Hiccup laughs and gives FeeTwix a conspiratorial look. “Big fickin’ whoop. Shit, if we goblins gave up after getting an STD, we’d never get anything done!”