He was afraid.
If there was no God, there was just as likely no afterlife. There was no reason to behave properly, to put the interests of others ahead of one’s own.
No God meant no meaning to it all, no higher standard by which everything was measured. No absolutes of goodness.
Below him, Afsan heard faint sounds. He looked down upon the twin diamond decks of the Dasheter, far below. Standing at one side was the ship’s priest, Det-Bleen, moving his arms in graceful orchestration. The pilgrims were arranging themselves in a circle, each one facing out. Their tails all aimed in toward a central point directly beneath the Face of God. They tipped their heads back, looking straight up. And they sang.
Songs of hope.
Songs of prayer.
Songs of worship.
The music, when audible above the wind and the slapping of waves, was beautiful, full of energy, of sincerity. Clearer and brighter than the other voices, Afsan could hear the magic of Prince Dybo’s singing.
They’re together, thought Afsan, united in worship. For it was only through the church, through the religion, that Quintaglios saw fit to join forces for anything beyond the hunt.
The sacred scrolls said that in heaven there was no territorial instinct; that there, in the calming presence of God Herself, being in the company of others did not bring out the animal within. The church taught that one must work together, hold one’s instincts in check, that to do so was to bring oneself closer to God, to prepare oneself for the unending bliss of the afterlife.
Without a church, there would be no such teachings. Without such teachings, there would be no working together, except, maybe, to fell the largest of beasts, the greatest of prey. Without working together, there’d be no cities, no culture.
Anarchy.
In one heady moment, Afsan realized that the church was the cornerstone of the culture, that the role of Det-Yenalb was more important than that played by Saleed or any scholar, that the cement that bound together a race of carnivores, a breed that had territorial imperatives fundamental to their being, was the belief in God.
Below him, the pilgrims rotated on the deck, their muzzles now facing in so that they looked straight at each other: together, conscious of their union, but calm, instincts in check, under the kindly influence of the Face of God. Slowly they lifted their muzzles again and began to chant the words of the Eleventh Scroll.
The Eleventh Scroll, thought Afsan. The one about working together to rebuild, about how God sends landquakes not out of spite or anger, but to give us yet another reason to hold our instincts at bay and cooperate.
But Afsan knew the truth.
He could not lie. Anyone could see that he was lying, for only an aug-ta-rot, a demon, could lie in the light of day.
Science must always advance.
The mast swung far to port, paused for an instant, then swung far to starboard. Afsan looked down again. Directly beneath him was open water.
In a horrible flash it was clear to him.
There was a way.
A way to keep it all secret.
To keep the dangerous truth unknown.
He could jump. He could put an end to himself.
Not just now, of course. Not with water below. Assuming he wasn’t knocked unconscious breaking through the surface, Afsan could swim alongside the ship for days.
But if he jumped—now!—with nothing but hard wooden deck to break his fall, he’d be finished, instantly. There’d be no prolonged death, just a snuffing out like a lamp being extinguished.
He’d never have to let the world know what he knew, never have to share what he’d discovered, never risk dissolving the glue holding civilization together.
It would be for the best. Besides, no one would miss him.
Afsan stared down over the edge of the bucket, watching the ship move back and forth beneath him.
No.
No, of course not.
What he’d discovered was the truth. And he would tell that truth to all who would listen.
He had to. He was a scholar.
Quintaglios are rational beings. Perhaps there was a time, in the distant past, when we needed a God. But not in these enlightened days. Not now. Not anymore.
Not anymore.
His resolve hardened. He was still too cramped to slap his tail properly, but he gave it a good try.
The truth, then. And to the darkest pits with the consequences.
Nodding to himself, he scanned the horizon.
Say, there’s something—
No. Nothing. For an instant, he’d thought he’d seen something far, far off, splitting the waters. But it was gone now. He rotated slowly, looking in each direction for anything out of the ordinary.
As the day wore on, the sun moved higher and higher into the sky. The narrow crescent of the Face of God waned into nothingness. The vast dim circular bulk of its unilluminated side hung above Afsan’s head, a pale ghost of its former glory.
*15*
Afsan had been thinking of how to get an appointment to see Captain Var-Keenir. There was no doubt in the young astrologer’s mind that a hierarchy operated aboard the ship, that each member of the crew had specific responsibilities, and reported in turn to a designated individual. But, as to what that order was, Afsan had been unable to tell. Back at the palace grounds, Afsan had come up with a simple rule. If it wore a sash, call it “learned one.” If it sported robes, call it “holy one.” And if in any doubt, simply bob concession and get out of the way.
But the routine of the ship baffled Afsan. One day, an officer might be the lookout atop the foremast. On the next day, that same person might be working in the galley, pounding salted meats to tenderize them, and then carefully soaking them in the ship’s limited stock of blood to make the meat at least appear fresh. It was as if they rotated duties, but if there was a pattern to the rotation, Afsan had yet to perceive it.
Finally he gave up and simply decided to approach the captain directly. The Dasheter had been designed to appear sparsely populated even when carrying a full complement. That meant Afsan had to wind his way to the captain’s cabin through a maze of walls that seemed to serve no purpose except to shield one Quintaglio from another’s view. These walls seemed to creak the most as the Dasheter tossed upon the waves, as if protesting their lot in life.
At Keenir’s door, Afsan hesitated. What he had to ask was critical, and the captain’s mood had not been good of late. Afsan had overheard the captain mumbling to Nor-Gampar about how much he disliked holding station here beneath the Face of God. Not that Keenir didn’t revel in the spectacle— no, his heart was not so hard as not to be moved by the swirling maelstrom covering a quarter of the sky. But, said Keenir, a ship should sail! It should struggle into the wind, or fly like a wingfinger with a strong breeze at its back. It should move.
Well, if Keenir said yes to Afsan’s plan, he’d get all the movement he could want.
Afsan watched his own shadow flickering on the door in the lamplight, a quavering silhouette, a palsied specter. He lifted his claws to the copper plate.
Keenir’s voice was so deep as to be almost lost among the groans of the ship’s lumber. “Who’s there?”
Afsan swallowed, then spoke his own name aloud.
There was no verbal reply—did Keenir know how difficult it was to discern his voice over the sounds of the ship? Or did he simply choose to ignore a passenger—a child—invading his privacy? No, there was that ticking, the sound of Keenir’s walking stick. After a moment, the door swung open. “Well?”