“Were you scantily dressed in this romantic scenario of yours?”
I thought of my first Victoria Secret’s negligée carefully tucked in my drawer. “Let’s say I wasn’t wearing the poop-colored tracksuit you got me for the tour.”
Josh chuckled. “What happened then?”
“Well, your work event happened to be the job I took tonight. I served prawns to that ex of yours and made sure everybody knew I had a huge chip on my shoulder.” My gaze fluttered away for a couple of seconds. “Then I covered for a guy who didn’t care about finishing his job and I made it back home at eleven with you, because you were cute enough to wait for me.”
“So?”
“So long story short, we won’t be having sex tonight.”
Josh burst out laughing and I followed in his tracks.
“That’s kind of definitive.” His fingers snuck underneath my uniform top and caressed the small of my back. “What made you change your mind?”
“I’m not quite there yet.”
Josh led me back to the sofa and sat me on his lap. “Where do you want to be?”
“Maybe it’s not a question of where, but who. I don’t want to be that girl who can’t stand by your side and be proud of who she is. Whatever it is. I don’t want to be that girl who doesn’t have a plan for herself.” I’d delivered all of this in one breath.
“That’s a lot of things you don’t want to be. What do you actually want to be?”
“I want to be someone who inspires you and Lucas.”
His hand flew up to cup my face. “But you do inspire me. I was totally won over the night I saw you on stage with that goddamn Shawn Dupret. You blew my mind.”
“It was just one time.” One very special time.
“It’ll happen again, Cass. Plus, Sweet Second is going to be released as a single. You wrote that song.”
He was right. I had achieved something. Maybe I could achieve more. I stood and, without a word, went to our bedroom, opened a drawer and came back with a stack of papers. I handed them to Josh. He took them and quickly cast his eyes over them. Most of them were music sheets and Josh couldn’t read music. Still, he paid close attention to them, spending more time on the pages filled with words.
He finally looked up at me. “Is that new material?”
I sat back on his lap. “I’ve been writing in my spare time. When Shawn called me about Sweet Second’s release, he said if it was doing well his agent, Will, might ask for more stuff. I thought it would be wise to have something ready.” Josh’s fingertips brushed my cheekbones and I took it as a silent encouragement. “I mean, writing songs doesn’t mean I’ll be back on the road. So I can be here with Lucas while doing something about my music. And I love writing.”
Josh gently patted the back of my head, combing my hair with his fingers, then pulled my face down towards him. He gently kissed me. It wasn’t one of his you’ll-drop-your-panties-next kisses. It felt more like an I-totally-worship-you type of kisses. I like those too.
“I’m in awe of you,” he said. I gave a slight shake of my shoulders because I wasn’t used to being praised. “That’s why I’m going to give you a mental kick in the ass.”
I stiffened. “Why’s that?”
“Because you’re doing it again, Cass. Going to the end of the world for the people you love without letting them be there for you.” I frowned and asked him to explain. “Since you’ve been in D.C, you’ve repainted the whole apartment, hung up new curtains on every single window, cleaned up the garden and found a job near to Lucas’s school. On top of that, you make extra tips by working for a catering company pretty much every weekend. I’ve not even mentioned the fact that we’ve had to go through a home study for the adoption. Which wasn’t a walk in the park.”
“You make it sound like I’ve killed myself at work. I’m fine. Plus, it’s not as if you’re not working like a dog too.”
He waved his hands in defense. “We’re not talking about me.”
“But you’re the one bringing home most of the money.”
“It’s our money, Cass. Not mine. So I want you to use it to make your life easier.”
“I don’t need—”
“—I want you to stop spreading yourself so thin. Hopefully Lucas will be with us for good in a few months. He’s going to keep us busy.” He paused. “I think you should give up your job at the coffee shop. Or that catering moonlighting. Either one… or both?”
“No way I’m not making my own money—”
Once again he hushed me by putting the tips of his fingers on my lips. “It’s not about money, Cass. I want you to have more free time to focus on your song writing. I have no doubt in my mind that this guy, Will, will soon come begging for more songs by the incredibly talented Cassandra O’Malley.”
“Yeah, sure.”
His hands moved to my shoulders to squeeze them. “Stop putting yourself down. I won’t let you do that to the girl I love. And if you still think I’m doing you a favor, see it as an investment. A few years from now you might be the one bringing home hundreds of thousands of dollars in royalties.” His faith in me made one corner of my mouth curl up. “I’ll take early retirement on a beach in Florida and let you be the breadwinner.”
“As if you’ll ever give up on your own bright future, Mr. Senator.”
His hands tightened around my shoulders and I took the hint that he wasn’t in a joking mood. “You are my future, Cassie O’Malley. The brightest of all. So, do we have a deal?”
I swallowed hard and fought back the tears. No one will ever believe in me more than he did. I had to let myself believe in him. And in myself.
I nodded, “We have a deal.”
CHAPTER 16
Josh
“Maybe it’s too much like a field trip?”
Cassie rolled her eyes at me. “Come on, Champ! He loves it.” She slapped my arm playfully. “You can’t always pull the sports card, you know.”
Lucas had landed in D.C. yesterday. We’d been lucky. The adoption had been approved last week and the boy was already with us for a pre-placement visit. The fact that Sharon Sorenson had last-minute plans for Thanksgiving had helped. That meant she was more than happy to send him away. That meant we had two full days together.
I’d been in charge of organizing our first day out as a family-to-be. Saying that it’d kept me awake at night was an understatement. I’d finally set my choice on George Washington’s Mount Vernon. My dad had taken me there during our Memorial Day weekend in D.C. years ago. I’d loved it. But I was a bit of a nerd as a kid—I still was—and maybe Lucas didn’t care about history, Founding Fathers or not.
However, I was pretty sure he’d loved the cruise we’d taken out of D.C. The river and the boat itself fascinated him. We’d shared stories of pirates and buccaneers. I think he’d confused the Potomac with the Caribbean.
“Josh, come, come!” Lucas kept whooping his arm to get me to his side. He was standing on tip-toes to see into one of the glass displays in the museum. “Look at all those soldiers. They’re dressed all funny, not like the Avengers.”
The miniature guys fighting at the Battle of Yorktown couldn’t really compare to the buffed-up action figures Lucas played with. I felt Cassie by my side. She leaned against me while checking out the reproduction in the glass display.
“Josh, what are they fighting for?”
This seemingly simple question struck at the geeky nerd inside of me. I bent over and took Lucas in my arms so that he could get a better view. He was stuffed inside a ski jacket that could protect him against the elements on a trip to the North Pole. One of his arms looped around my neck.