“That I was your man, that you could just once let me take care of you.”
“I want you to. I’m ready to let go…”
“Hallelujah! Then let’s start now.”
Cassie stood and walked around the coffee table. She sat on my lap and snuggled against me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. I whispered to her ear, “You’re my girl, you know. Let me make you happy.”
CHAPTER 24
Cassie
“That’s such a nice picture, Champ.” I hunched over Lucas’s shoulder to look at the drawing he’d been focusing on for the last half an hour.
“It’s our house in Wash—Wash—”
“Washington,” I helped him finish the word and brushed the brown curl away from his right eye. My heart squeezed in my chest because he looked so much like Josh.
Lucas nodded. “Yeah, there,” then he pointed at each of the three characters in the picture. “That’s me,” a little bluish shape with two distinctive arms and legs, “and that’s you and Josh.” My hair was messy and yellow, making me look like a member of one of those 80s rock bands. Next to me, Josh’s lookalike was more clean-cut—of course—with only a few streaks of black atop his round head.
A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall in the Sorensons’s living room and I felt a lump blocking my throat. The five-minute countdown had started. I’d have to leave Lucas behind. I’d see him tomorrow and again on Sunday, but this would be the last time we’d need to see each other in someone else’s house. His foster family was leaving for Oregon at the end of the month. The date had been fixed, the Christmas crisis was now behind us, and Sawyer Curtis was taking care of the last bits of paperwork.
We should be fine.
“It’s time, guys.”
Josh knelt down between Lucas and me. He kissed our boy’s temple, ruffled his hair and stood up. “We’ll watch a movie tomorrow and start thinking about what you want to do on Sunday.”
Lucas answered with a half-smile. The lump in my throat thickened. How could Josh move in and out of Lucas’s life and not shatter? It broke me into a thousand pieces each time.
“Maybe, we can all have some marshmallows tomorrow… with some really chocolatey chocolate?” He gave me a smile, but not a full one again. A sugary treat wasn’t going to seal the deal today. Six months of goodbyes weighed on us.
“Cassie.” Josh put his hands on my shoulders and helped me stand. I leaned back against him. I had to channel his strength to keep myself together. Lucas needed parents, not over-emotional teenagers who couldn’t keep it together. .
From the corner of my eye I saw Sharon Sorenson leaning against the doorframe that led to the kitchen, her arms crossed over her chest: She wanted us on our way out and wasn’t making a mystery of it. She didn’t speak though and I was grateful of being spared the rough sound of her voice.
The tips of my fingers brushed against Lucas’s plump cheeks. “See you tomorrow, Champ.”
Josh had to drag me out of the house and back to the rental car. We’d walked down that driveway so many times, it was like replaying the same movie over and over. He switched on the engine and we drove away in silence. I peered through the car window. Outside the clouds were low and full of rain. The weather wasn’t going to lift my mood. I closed my eyes and focused on the soft humming of the car’s engine. I flew back to our apartment in D.C. and imagined life there once Lucas would be with us for good: him doing his homework on the dining room table, the friends he’d invite around, his next birthday party… I enjoyed the peace but my brain soon kicked back into gear. We should have made it back to the motel by now.
My eyes popped open. We were driving downtown. I straightened up on the passenger seat. “Where are we going?”
Josh’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. “Sawyer Curtis’s office.”
“Why?”
“He called me when you were with Lucas. He wants us to meet there… with Trisha.”
Josh had one of those composed voices that never let him down. He lost it sometimes —Jack MacBride’s bloody face sprang to mind — but his voice never betrayed him. Right now, even by Josh’s standards, it was too composed.
“What’s up?” I glued my eyes on his face to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
“I don’t know yet, but the Lorettis will be there. With their lawyers. Apparently, they initiated the meeting.”
Panic flowed through my veins. I’d hoped those two were out of the picture by now. “That can’t be good.” I swallowed the lump in my throat that refused to go. “Not good at all.”
“Let’s keep our heads screwed on straight. Okay?”
I gave a tight nod, but I couldn’t keep my breathing from ticking up a notch. I weaved my fingers together on my lap so tightly that my knuckles turned white. Josh covered my hands with one of his while the other one remained on the wheel. His stare fixed on the road ahead and I held on to the warmth of his skin. When he broke contact to shift up a gear it was like tumbling over a cliff.
Get a grip, O’Malley! I wasn’t a weakling. I knew how to fight. This was just another fight, but one I’d win. Josh parked the car and opened the door for me. He extended his hand and I reached for it eagerly. We stood together. He cradled my face and tilted it so that I couldn’t avoid meeting his gaze.
This time his voice wasn’t composed. The depth of it was fierce and shaky at the same time. “I love you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned forward so that I rested against him, the top of my head just beneath his chin. “Say it again.”
“I love you.” There was nothing shaky this time.
I breathed in his words and let them fill me. “I love you too.”
Like a robot, I walked by his side all the way up to Curtis’s floor. The receptionist led us from the waiting room to one of the meeting rooms. The wall was made of glass from floor to ceiling and, from the corridor, I couldn’t help seeing who was inside. Curtis and Trisha at either end of the table, the Lorettis on the side opposite the doorway. There was also a woman I’d never seen before next to them. She wore a power suit and sharp, square glasses.
Curtis came to open the door for us. Josh was the old-fashioned type, always stepping aside for me to enter first. This time he led the way, as if he knew we were being led to the firing squad and he wanted to be the first to take a bullet.
My stomach sank.
I gave myself a mental kick in the butt and followed close behind Josh. We shook hands with Curtis and Trisha. The others didn’t stand up. They acknowledged our presence only by staring at us. Andrea Loretti didn’t even do that. She kept her gaze down and wriggled her hands over the table instead. More than ever, she looked like a caged animal.
“Before we start, I’d like to thank Trisha Roberts for coming to our office on such short notice,” this came from Curtis, “and Joshua and Cassandra MacBride—my clients—for interrupting their stay in Kansas City and answering Mr. and Mrs. Loretti’s last minute request. I hope the Lorettis realize how unusual this meeting is.”
Curtis managed to deliver the welcome speech as if we were doing them a favor. It didn’t feel like that to me. At all.
Josh offered me a seat and I took my place next to him, opposite the Lorettis. Still no eye-to-eye contact from Andrea. Josh’s arm came to rest casually on the back of my seat. I had to resist snuggling against him for comfort.
“Should we start?” I was so grateful to Josh for taking the lead. “Given that you requested this meeting, I will ask you to cut to the chase and spare Mrs. Roberts’ and our time.”
The brunette with blood-red lipstick leaned over the table. She spoke to Trisha. “As you know, Vincent and Andrea Loretti were approved for adoption last November. They are a couple of outstanding, hard-working citizens who have been a constant presence in Lucas’s life since he lost his parents. A strong relationship has been formed between them and the child.”