He laughed again, and Sejal smiled at him.
"Not a vampire anymore…I can be good now. I’ll be so good," he said, and went to sleep.
Doug pulls the stake out, the wound heals, he goes about the rest of his natural life in Philadelphia as a graphic designer.
Doug pulls the stake out, he and Sejal marry, divorce, he rises to manager of a Kohl’s department store and is shot and killed while trying to prevent a stickup.
The stake never comes out, Doug files it down to a nub and hides it under his clothes. He finds he can’t readjust to life as a human — each new experience seems pale and flavorless. He never does anything of any importance and dies alone.
He rises, wrenches the stake from his chest, snaps it in two. He now has all the strengths of vampirism and none of the weaknesses. He becomes a celebrated crime fighter and occasional vampire hunter, and a founding member of the League of Champions.
In alternate histories we learn what the world would be like
— if he had become a werewolf
— if he’d been born a Russian
— if he’d lived in Nazi-occupied Europe
— if Jay had become the vampire instead
— if he’d killed Victor
— if he’d killed Stephin
— if Sejal had loved him
He sleeps, in a state like death, for two thousand years while his body heals and his mind clears. He is accidentally unearthed and revived on the construction site of a future prison for poorly socialized clobots. Everyone in the future is either a vampire or a clobot, and his wild anecdotes from the twenty-first century make him a popular talk show guest.
He dies.
It took a long time to get home. There were people to talk to, calls to be made, a story to tell again and again and again. There were the Browns — Mr. Brown bleary-eyed, Mrs. Brown in a mismatched sweater set, stunned and bobbing through the gray police station like a rubber duck in a bathtub. Cat looking hurt. Sejal mouthed a "sorry," to her, sorry for rushing off on her own, sorry for going on a quest without her American guide. The hurt look lingered for an hour, but on the car ride home (during Mr. Brown’s loud and impassioned speech about personal responsibility; hospitality; American values; and then, less clearly, outsourcing and the Marshall Plan), Cat’s hand drifted across the backseat to take Sejal’s own.
They pulled into the driveway as Mr. Brown reached the end of his sermon and started over from the beginning. "Something came for you this morning," Cat whispered at the door.
A half-dozen tags printed with colors and codes were tied to the handle of a bag, a scarlet-pink bag like a huge heart in the foyer.
About the Author
ADAM REX is the New York Times bestselling author of one other novel, THE TRUE MEANING OF SMEKDAY. He lives with his wife in Tucson, Arizona. You can visit him online at www.adamrex.com.
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The True Meaning of Smekday
Jacket art © 2010 by Dan Saelinger
Jacket design by Adam Rex
"What the World Needs Now Is Love." Words and Music by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
Copyright © 1965 (Renewed) by New Hidden Valley Music and Casa David.
Copyright Renewed © 1993 New Hidden Valley Music and Casa David.
International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
"What the World Needs Now Is Love."
Lyric by Hal David. Music by Burt Bacharach.
Copyright © 1965 (Renewed) Casa David and New Hidden Valley Music.
International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.