“No, what?” It slowly became harder to breathe. Sometimes I think I enjoy pain, physically and mentally. Sick right?
“The Dark Lord of Bainbridge High returns next year.” I met her worried gaze. I guess she isn’t as oblivious as I thought. She’s warning me.
Breathe.
I used controlled, breathing exercises to keep myself from hyperventilating whenever he was brought up. Ironically the habit developed after he left last year. After years of allowing him to control me out of fear, you would think I would be skipping with joy after he left. I finally controlled my breathing and looked up to find her on my side now rubbing my back soothingly.
“I’m fine,” I said only after I was confident my sanity was intact. “Besides I have all summer to prepare myself and your slightly illegal antics to distract me,” I stated, attempting humor to lighten the mood. Willow looked away and began chewing her lip. Okay…
My heart was beating fast now—too fast. My breathing was out of control again as I waited for the final blow to my sanity. “My parents are sending me away this summer…and he’s already here.”
I died.
* * *
No, I didn't die but it was a close second.
I woke up to find the school nurse standing over me, pressing a cool cloth to my forehead. The principal and gym teacher were sitting with a crying Willow in the corner, attempting to console her. “It’s all my fault,” she kept repeating as Principal Lawrence hugged her.
“She’s awake,” Nurse Kelly announced.
Willow rushed forward as everyone turned to me. “I’m sorry Lake, I shouldn't have said anything!” I gave her a shaky smile but didn’t respond. I couldn’t in front of them. Principal Lawrence interrupted to say that my aunt had been called and was on her way.
She’s going to ask questions. I quickly sat up, thinking there might have been time to escape. She would want answers I wasn't ready and never would be ready to give. I might have escaped if the nurse hadn’t nudged me back with a stern look. “I’m fine, really. Willow can drive me home.” I gave her what I hoped was a healthy smile.
“Miss Monroe, our policy requires us to notify parents or guardians when incidents such as these occur. We chose not to call an ambulance because you had a strong pulse and began to come around quickly…and then you started talking.
I was talking? Oh no, what did I say? Was it bad?
Principal Lawrence continued speaking, but I’d tuned her out as I wondered what I could have possibly said in near unconsciousness. My mind went through many scenarios in a small space of time. “Miss Monroe did you hear me?” she asked impatiently.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” She huffed as if I was wasting her time. I fought the grin tugging at my lips from her mini tantrum. The staff at school sucked and I didn't care for any of them but that was mostly due to the fact that they turned a blind eye to my tormentor and the reign he had over the school. It was too fucked up for words. “I said we think you should speak to Mrs. Gilmore.” I immediately looked at Willow, wondering if she told anything to make them want to involve the counselor. She immediately shook her head, knowing what I was asking.
So it was bad.
I was saved from answering, however, by my Aunt rushing into the nurse’s office, followed by the flustered school secretary. My aunt could be a worrier.
“Lake!” she exclaimed as she bounded forward to grab me in a hug. “What happened, why did you faint? Are you okay? Let me look at you. Hold still!”
I never moved an inch but my aunt was far from rational right now. She would make an incredible mother, but she never had children or a man in her life despite the fact that she was beautiful in every way.
She looked a lot like my mom, her sister – blonde with blue eyes, long legs, great body and personality. She was also one of those Star Trek geeks who liked anything sci-fi. I guess that's why she is a best-selling fantasy fiction author. I was proud.
We’ve grown close after the disappearance of my parents ten years ago after…well it happened during that summer. I don’t know if they are dead or if they abandoned me. My aunt is adamant that my parents would never leave me willingly. It hurt either way. They were gone. Just like that, out of thin air. I found out a month after the playground incident. It had been my birthday and we’d just left the doctor’s office after an X-ray for my arm.
I had been unconscious for two days and suffered a broken arm after he pushed me off the monkey bars. It was pretty harsh stuff for an eight-year old. I never said a word and neither did anyone else. The adults pretty much assumed I fell off trying to help Buddy. I wonder even now how he could hold so much power at a tender age, but I’ve learned over time and after years of torture that there was nothing tender about him.
Focus.
“Honey, they want you to speak to the school counselor,” my aunt said but it was more of a question than a statement. Despite our closeness, I never told my aunt anything about what happens to me within these halls, outside these halls, in my nightmares, in my dreams. Knowing my aunt she would move us away and I couldn't do that. My aunt loves Six Forks. She says it inspires her. Whatever that means. I just know I couldn't take that away.
So I endured.
Ten long years of endurance and then it would be over and I could finally breathe and finally live, without fear, without control, without desire for the dark and unobtainable.
Yeah, not going there.
Mrs. Gilmore had arrived and immediately introduced herself to my aunt and me. I already knew who she was but we had never crossed paths before. Like I said, I’ve endured.
“Why don’t you two follow me to my office so we can talk privately?” I wasn't ready for this but what could I do? I needed to know what I said while I was unconscious.
“Willow, why don't you go ahead home? Thank you for staying with her but I’m sure you parents are worried by now,” my aunt suggested. I’d forgotten Willow was here. She nodded and smiled nervously at me. I smiled back but didn't have anything to say, at least not with present party involved.
Mrs. Gilmore led the way to her office as we followed silently behind. You can do this. We reached her office and went inside. I took a moment to look around. Her office was homey although a bit messy with papers and files strewn everywhere. My hands were itching to straighten up her office or point her in the direction of the nearest office supply store for a better filing system.
We each sat down and just looked at one another, not sure how to proceed. My aunt was the first to speak after a few moments of tense silence. “Principal Lawrence said she talked while she was becoming conscious?”
“Right! Yes, people sometimes do as they regain consciousness, but in this case it was the nature of what was said.” It took everything in me not to scream for her to spit it out when she fell silent again. “You said…” The more her cheeks colored the more dread built in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed deeply and waited. “Well you said,” she continued, “Master can’t come back.”
Silence.
Complete and utter silence filled the room once more and only I could hear the deafening roar of mortification and feel the room spin. It had grown so quiet you could hear a pin drop…down the hall. This can’t be happening. I must have repeated that a million times in my head and few times out loud.