“You’re afraid you’ll want it, and you’re afraid you’ll miss it.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?”
“I’m not afraid of that,” I pressed. “I’m afraid you’ll walk away again. And you will. It’s what cowards do. But you want to know what I do know?” He dropped my legs and stepped back, but it was too late. I wouldn’t back down.
No mercy.
He taught me that.
“I know you were afraid of me, too.”
The room disappeared into a black abyss much like my mood.
“For ten years, you controlled me, hated me, tortured me.”
I clocked every misstep, hitch, and falter as I advanced on his retreat.
Oh, how the tables have turned.
I learned something in what might have been our darkest hour…
“But I was the one who actually held all the power.”
My fearless predator…
“And you knew.”
Was nothing more…
“So what scared you more?”
Than a wounded…
“That you weren’t truly in control?”
Cornered…
“Or that you had no clue of what I could mean to you?”
Animal.
“You can hide behind your anger and use your past as a shield, but you can never pretend I didn’t know you. You opened the door enough for me to see. I know you, Keiran, but do you really know me?”
Confliction.
That’s what I saw in his eyes. It reminded me of something important Keenan once told me:
“I’m afraid for him because every day, he has to fight the person he is to be the person he wants to be.”
“What happens if he loses?”
“People get hurt.”
“What makes you think I want to know you? I may not hate you, but you’re still nothing to me. Don’t make the mistake of thinking otherwise.”
“I’ve made so many mistakes where you are concerned, Keiran. What’s one more?”
I forced myself to walk away with my head held high.
He wouldn’t get another piece of me.
* * *
There was no better feeling than finally standing up to your childhood bully. When I walked back to my classroom, I was on cloud nine and had chosen to ignore the pull that demanded I turn back.
I should have turned back. I should have gone in any direction other than the one I took.
Instead of taking the shortcut through the gym, I unknowingly took the long way through the hall where no one ever goes because everyone with common sense would have cut through the gym unless there was a class.
Not me.
I could never make the smart decisions.
Waiting for me had been Trevor’s father and former police officer.
I didn’t have time to scream, run, or fight. A cloth had been placed over my face, and the next thing I remembered… was nothing.
Now, here I was, scared and alone in the hard, unforgiving grip of Mr. Reynolds.
After Trevor had assaulted me in a public bathroom, Mr. Reynolds lost his job thanks to his son spilling the beans of his involvement. The only good that came out of being nearly beaten and raped was finally being able to clear my name and essentially, Keiran’s name.
“I told my son to leave you alone, but he didn’t listen and look where it’s gotten him,” he spat. “Cunts like you are always causing trouble.”
“Mr. Reynolds, please,” I begged for the hundredth time or maybe it was the thousandth. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Shut up, girl.” His hand brutally slapped my cheek, causing me to fall backward. At least, I’m out of his hold. The smell of his rancid breath alone made me want to puke. “You beg when I tell you to.”
“Cecilia! You can come in now. She’s almost ready to perform.”
Heels clicked against the wooden floor, and then the door opened to reveal a blonde woman in a dark blue, expensive pantsuit. My blood felt as if it had been drained from my veins when I recognized her instantly.
“Mrs. Risdell?”
“Hello, dear. I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I simply cannot let Keiran Masters go unpunished for what he did to my daughter.”
“Mrs. Risdell, please listen to me. Keiran did not kill your daughter. This is all a misunderstanding.”
“Do not dare lie to us to protect him. It will only make things worse for you.”
She set down the bag she held and pulled out a camera. When she turned it on and pointed it at me, I asked, “What are you planning to do?”
Mr. Reynold’s hand dropped his belt and began unbuckling it. Mrs. Risdell stepped forward with the camera. “You, my dear, are going to put on a show for your little boyfriend, and then we are going to do to you what he did to our children.”
The leers that appeared on their faces made me shudder in revulsion. “And what will you do when I’m dead? Where do you think you will go? There is nowhere you can run and no one who will be able to help you.”
“Don’t kid yourself, little girl. This is the one time he will lose.”
“Enough talking,” Mr. Reynolds snapped. I was tossed on the bed, and when he immediately followed behind me, I kicked out. He effectively dodged my flailing feet until he managed to capture them in a tight grip. “Stop fighting or I’ll dislocate every bone in your body, starting with that pretty face of yours.”
He sat on my chest and grabbed my wrist, squeezing them between his large hands, and for a moment, I was afraid he would make good on his threat. My chest burned from my fleeing air supply as I was helplessly pinned to the bed under his weight. Handcuffs appeared, and he quickly used them to bind my hands. Panic surged, making my heart race, and my breathing fluctuated dangerously. The heat scorched every inch of my skin before my body turned ice cold, flitting from one extreme to the next.
“Paul?”
“What?”
He lifted from my chest and quickly gagged me before scooting down to the foot of the bed where my feet lay. My ankles and feet were spread apart roughly.
“What’s wrong with her? I think she’s seizing.” Alarm was evident in Mrs. Risdell’s voice as violent trembles wracked my body.
“What do you care? The little bitch is going to die anyway.”
“And what are you going to do? Fuck a corpse? We need her to suffer first.”
Her sick reasoning seemed to get through to Mr. Reynolds because he paused from tying my feet to the bed to study me with his beady, blue eyes.
“There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s faking it, and yeah… I’ll fuck a corpse if I have to.” His smile widened as he stared at me.
Oh, God. I closed my eyes and pictured myself anywhere else but here. I didn’t know how long I had been out, but I knew someone had to know by now that I was missing. Willow would know.
Keiran would know.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Keiran
There were only so many times you could hurt someone before they decided to fight back.
For ten years, I waited for the moment when Lake would finally fight. There were many days I would become frustrated to the point of violence, but instead of hurting her, I would start a fight. I would fight, and then I would seek her out only when I was sure I wouldn’t physically hurt her.
I knew that now.
No matter how much I threatened to kill her, deep down I didn’t want to hurt her.
But the hatred… that was real.
I hated her with everything I had because it was the only emotion I had to give. I realized, even then, I was giving her everything.
She was the bane of my existence, and at the very same, the reason I cared to exist.
I wanted her like the rest of the world. Like me.
Her innocence.
Her bravery.
Her selflessness.
I wanted it all gone.
She. Just. Wouldn’t. Fucking. Break.
I left the bathroom only when I knew she was gone. I wouldn’t stop to consider that maybe she was right. I am a coward.
Before heading back to my class, I took a detour to her class. I peeked inside the window of the door—when I didn’t see her, my first reaction was anger.