"We have instructions to shoot potentially hostile persons."
Chiun stepped in front of Remo and said in a plaintive voice, "Please do not hurt my adopted son."
Remo knew Chiun was setting them up for the kill. He hesitated. If any blood was shed, their cover would be blown.
So Remo brought his stiffened fingers up with blurry speed. And before the two guards knew what had happened, their machine pistols were cartwheeling into the underbrush and they were shaking their empty, numbed fingers and sucking air through clenched teeth.
"I didn't know killer bees got this far north," Remo said casually.
Just then a door popped open.
"Is there a problem?" a lilting voice asked.
The woman was slim and the color of a walnut. Her eyes were startlingly large, and so black they might have been constructed of shards of sunglass lenses.
She wore a vivid green sari that shimmered as she approached, topped by a shawl that framed her oval face like a cameo, and all but concealed her lustrous black hair.
The taller guard got control of himself and said, "I don't know who these people are, Miss Nalini, but I told them they can't get close to the cars."
"What is the matter with your fingers?" she asked.
"They sting," the short guard said tightly.
"Killer bees," said Remo. "Maybe they're what's causing HELP. If I were you two, I'd see a doctor."
The two guards just glared. They suspected Remo, but not having seen his hands move, could not accuse him. They recovered their weapons in silence.
"Who are you two, please?" the woman asked.
"It is none of your business," Chiun hissed.
"Little Father," warned Remo. "Let me handle this." He addressed the dusky woman.
"We're with the FDA. We've just been investigating the HELP thing and now we just want to find a decent hotel."
The woman named Nalini looked Remo up and down curiously. Her limpid eyes shone. Then they went to the Master of Sinanju. Their gazes met and locked and a tightness came over each of their faces.
"Allow me to escort you both to your vehicle," she said coolly. She gestured, and the guards lowered their Uzis slightly. They kept their fingers on the triggers.
"Thanks," said Remo.
"It is my pleasure," said the woman. "My name is Nalini."
"We do not care," said Chiun.
"He speaks for himself," said Remo. "I care."
Smiling, the woman lifted slim fingers to take Remo's lean, hard forearm. Remo decided he liked her touch. And her perfume. It was an exotic, musky scent. Usually Remo hated perfume, but this one was both subtle and pleasant. There was none of the flowery excess of manufactured American scents. This had a fruity undersmell to it that reminded Remo of something faraway and unattainable.
"And what is your name?"
"Call me Remo."
Chiun followed with his hands tucked into the sleeves of his kimono and his bearded chin in the air.
"I am the private nurse to Senator Clancy's mother, Pearl," Nalini told Remo.
"I'm surprised she's still alive, after all these years."
"She clings to life. She is a strong woman. Would you like to see her?"
"No," said Chiun.
"We're in a rush," said Remo. "Honest. Another time. "
"Another time then."
"How old is she anyway?"
"One hundred and three years old."
Remo called back, "Hear that, Chiun? She's older than even you!"
"I am only eighty." snapped the Master of Sinanju, "and you are embarrassing me in front of my ancestors."
"Your ancestors are lying in the ground and Nalini is just being polite. What's the matter with you?"
Chiun hurried on, skirts flapping, his hands fists.
The sound of a car window humming down caught Remo's attention. He turned his head and a face appeared in the rear window of the limousine from which Nalini had come.
The face was twisted, as if from paralytic stroke, but Remo recognized Pearl Clancy, matriarch of the Clancy clan. Her mouth hung slack-jawed and a tendril of drool leaked out and flowed into one of the webby wrinkle clusters around her mouth, which was grotesque with red lipstick.
"That's her, huh?" asked Remo.
"I will be just a moment, Adji," Nalini called. "That means Grandmother," she whispered to Remo.
Pearl Clancy seemed not to understand a single word. Staring so hard her eyes seemed to bug out of her head, she brought pale clawlike hands up to her clenched face.
As Remo watched, she made bony fists on either side of her mouth and popped her forefingers out. Then she began wriggling them angrily, as if pointing at Remo. She was bouncing up and down in her seat.
"Come on," said Nalini quickly.
"What was that all about?" Remo asked.
"She's easily upset when left alone. Alzheimer's."
"That's tough. It really is. Bad enough she had to suffer through two of her sons ending up dead and the third a public drunk."
"What did you say your business was, Remo?"
"We're here to look into HELP."
Nalini touched a finger to her mouth. "A terrible thing, all these deaths and no one knows why."
"By the time we're done, everyone will know why. And how. And probably who too."
"You sound very confident."
"When Chiun and I get on something like this," Remo said, surprised at his own boastful words, "we usually bust everything wide open."
''I see," said Nalini in a quiet voice. Remo found himself disappointed in her response. For some reason, he wanted to impress her very much.
Chiun had reached the car when they drew near. His face wore an impatient frown.
"Well, thanks for your help," Remo said.
"I am happy to. Tell me, where are you staying?"
"I don't know yet."
"There is a nice motel three miles beyond Ukiah. You might try that."
"Thanks, I will." Remo hesitated. Normally, he avoided entanglements when on assignment, but there was something about this dusky-skinned woman that caught his interest. "Gonna be here a few days?"
"Yes, I believe so."
"Maybe I'll catch you around."
Nalini's smile was a shy ivory carving beneath the luminous jewels that were her dark eyes.
"Maybe I will allow you to catch me," she murmured.
And Remo smiled back.
He watched her walk away, her slim body swaying in time with the sari, and Remo thought he heard music.
Remo unlocked the door for Chiun and got behind the wheel. The Master of Sinanju's face was a thing carved out of stone.
"What's your problem?" Remo asked after they had started up the road.
"You let that harlot touch you."
"And?"
"She is a Hindu."
"So? She's a nice person. Anyone who would take care of an old dingbat like Pearl Clancy has to have a good heart."
"You did not hear what I said. She is a Hindu."
"I did hear you, and I don't care. I like her."
"Hindus only eat with their right hands."
"So?"
"You know what they do with their left hands."
"No. And knowing you, I don't want to hear."
"They wipe themselves," said Chiun. "Without toilet paper. That is why they do not eat with their left hands. Only their right."
"I knew I didn't want to hear it," said Remo, gunning the engine.
"Now you will need to wash yourself," Chiun sniffed.
"I'm sure Nalini is Americanized."
"Nevertheless, until you have washed the parts of your body that woman has touched, do not touch me."
"Oh brother. Anything else I should know in case I meet her again?"
"I did not like the color of her sari."
"What was wrong with it?"
"It is too vivid." Remo eyed Chiun's vermilion kimono. "Said the Korean fashion cop."
Chapter 9
Ukiah was smaller than Remo had expected. A tiny town of probably a thousand or so people. That limited the choice of hotels. There were two. And both had prominent ABSOLUTELY NO VACANCY signs lit up.