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Thi lammergeiers brot thi baloon out ov a big shed in thi cavern @ thi foot ov thi shaft; it ran on rales atatchd 2 thi seelin.  Thi baloon is juss a big sfeer fool ov vacyoom; iss as simpil as that.  It lukes greyish & akordin 2 thi birds iss made ov sum sorta stuf simla 2 thi fabric ov thi cassil, so it muss b prity strong.  Thi freds wer olredy draped ovir thi baloon.

Whot if busts?  I askd, jokin reely, but thi hed bird luked kind ov awkwird & sed sumfin about uthir modils wif litlr baloons inside them not bein up 2 thi job & if it was goan 2 burst it wude b low down probly & they wude giv me a parashoot 4 lowir altitoods.

Nway, not 2 wury I sed, kinda wishin I hadnt askd in thi 1st place.

I got my flyin lessin, they wayd me, then they gave me thi vayrayis bits ov stuf, strapt me in, pooshd thi baloon — wif me hangin undir it — along thi rales out in2 thi botim ov thi shaft & along 2 juss b4 whare thi rales endid.  They atatchd thi lenfs ov plastic toobin 2 thi harnis in frunt ov me & that was us redy.

Gude luk, mastir Bascule, thi hed bird sed.  We wish u ol thi best.

Me 2, I sed, witch mite not ½ been very grayshis, but @ leest it was tru.  O, & fanks 4 ol yoor help, I sed.

U r welcum, thi hed lammergeier sed.  It seemd 2 stifin, then sed, We'd betir get on wif it; things apeer 2 b cumin 2 a hed.  It went qwiet 4 a moment, then seemd 2 nod 2 itself.  I wude advise u not 2 yoose thi kript 4 thi momint, it told me.

Ritey-ho, I sed, & gave thi fums up sine.

They poold sum leevirs & thi rales abuv me swung up & opin; thi baloon took off with a whoosh ov air, draggin me & thi lenfs ov plastic toobin up wif it.  It was like follin upwirds.  Felt like my stumik was poold down 2 ma boots.

They ithir cloasd thi doars 2 thi caverin alongside thi botim ov thi shaft or poot thi lites out, bcoz it ol went dark down thare & I was left wif juss thi dark greyness ov thi shaft wols.  Thi slipstreme wind tugd @ my cloves.

Thi baloon seemd 2 go up prity strate, tho I poold on thi control lines conectid 2 thi hinjd flaps juss 2 make shure they wurkd.

Evin wif ol that toobin & stuf we fairly shot up & I had 2 keep yawnin 2 cleer ma eers.  Sum ov thi lammergeiers had floan up inside thi shaft, & I wayvd 2 ther shadoy shapes as I wen past.  Thi hoal hooj sirkil ov thi shaft botim seemed 2 shrink like sum cloasin shuttir as me & thi baloon wissild upwirds; prity soon thi birds wheelin roun inside thi shaft had groan 2 smol 2 c, & thi botim ov thi shaft was juss a blak sirkil gettin sloly smolir.

I doan no how meny minits it took 2 get 2 whare I needed oxijin, but it had got prity bleedin coald by then, I can tel u.  I woz glad ov thi fermils & stuf they'd givin me.  My hed was a bit soar by this time.

I turnd on thi furst oxijin tank & took a bref.  Thi baloon had sloed down a lot & I didn want 2 yoose eny moar oxijin than I had 2, so I cut a lenf ov thi toobin off; it was fik stuf like yood make a drane or sumfink out ov & it fel away like a big stiff wurm; thi baloon pikt up speed agen & thi fin air hissd past me.

Thi wols ov thi dark shaft wer plane & boarin, juss lines & rales & okayshinil sirkulir outlines that mite ½ been doars but witch were nevir opin.

Id let 5 ov thi 8 bits ov plastic toobin go when I saw flashes down below, in thi depfs ov thi shaft.  A bit later I herd sum muffild bangs.

Ther wer moar breef flashiz, & then I saw a litil wayverin spark ov lite whot didn fade; in fact thi bugir seemd 2 be gettin briter & cloasir.

O fuk, I thot, & cut thi strings holdin thi uthir 3 lenfs ov plastic toobin.  Thi baloon whooshd up thi shaft; thi harnis bit in2 my fys & my arms wer dragd down 2 my sides.  Thi air roard distintly aroun me & my hedake got wurse.

I wotchd thi 3 bits ov toobin folin away, hopin theyd hit whotevir it woz wos cumin up aftir me, but they didn.  Thi rokit — witch is whot I woz assoomin it was — climed on aftir me.  I didn want 2 cut my parashoot free & I didn think that wude make mutch difrinse nway + ther woz juss a chanse if thi rokit destroyd thi baloon Id survive & b abil 2 yoose thi parashoot (Ha!  Who woz I kidin?).  I felt my bladir gettin redy 2 liten me a bit.

Wotir, I thot.  I got my wotir botil out & woz about 2 chuk it away when thi fire aroun thi tale ov thi rokit went out.  It stil kept cumin 4 bleedin ages mind u, & I woz ½ waytin 4 sum sekind stage or sumfin 2 ignite, & stil hesitaytin about chukin away thi watir botil.

Nevir hapind; thi rokit got 2 wifin about ½ a kilomitir or so & then juss sorta topild ovir & sloly startid 2 fol away, tumblin end ovir end bak in2 thi darkniss & eventyooly disapperin.

I breevd a si ov releef that mistid up my fayce playt.  Thi baloon almost scraypd thi side ov thi shaft but wif a bit ov dextriss poolin & a modicum ov swayrin & panikin I got thi dam fing bak on thi erect coarse.

Ther woz a xploshin @ thi botim ov thi shaft.

No moar rokits.

I cuden c upwirds natchirily, but thi base ov thi shaft woz a ofil long way away & I fot I had 2 b neer thi top ov thi fing by now.  On thi uthir hand, thi baloon woz stil farely rayssin upwirds, so I gesd I was wrong.  Shurenuf, thi clime went on 4 sum time aftir that.  My feet & fingirs was startin 2 get reely coald.  My hed was aykin fit 2 burst.

I didn feel I woz breevin rite, but cuden remember whot u were supposed 2 do 2 breev rite.  I startid 2 wury about whot wude happin if they'd taken thi top off thi tower or I driftid out thi side thru a hoal & went on up in2 spaice.  Whot'd I do then?  I wunnerd.  I luked down; my gluvd fingers wer fiddlin about wif thi valvs on top ov thi litil botils strapt 2 my chest.  I shuke my hed.  Doin this hurt a lot.

I think I muss ½ blakd out 4 a bit coz when I awoke I was stayshiniry.

My hed stil hurts like hel but @ leest Im alive.  Thi baloon iz floatin agenst 1 wol ov thi shaft wif & sorta bobbin me up & down very gently.  Its a bit liter @ last.  I can c thi traks goan up thi side ov thi shaft in grate detayl, but no doors.  I try 2 fink whot I can throw away.  A oxijin tank; thers 1 empty.  I muss ½ chaynjed ovir 2 thi sekind 1 aftir ol.

I unscrew thi tank wif very coald gluvd fingerz & let it drop.

Thi baloon floats up very sloly.

My hed feels tite & buzzy like itz goan 2 burst & my hoal body feels bloatid like am a baloon maself.  Lites sparkin in frunt ov my Is & roarin in ma hed.

Thi baloon stopz, bobbin agen.

Stil no sine ov a doar.

I rok bak & forward as if Im on a swing; this scrapes thi baloon agenst thi side ov thi shaft, but it cant b helped.  Swinging qwite hard, I can c a doar — a opin doar! — a bit furthir up thi shaft.

I take a drink from thi watir botil, then let it drop in2 thi darkniss.  Thi baloon bobs a bit hier ovir thi next few minits.  Neerly thare but not qwite.

I mite need thi nife; cant thro that away.  I luke @ my boots & my gluvs, but I suspect it wude be crazy 2 thro them away.  I cude throw away thi parashoot but then Id ½ no chanse @ ol ov gettin bak down.

It lukes prity lite up heer; I take thi torch out & throw it downwirds as hard as I can.

I keep thi baloon goan from side 2 side as it floats up a bit hier.  I'm levil wif thi doar; its hoomin sized & like a sorta sqware O shape.  Lukes dark inside there.  I can olmost reech thi doar but I need 2 make thi baloon rok sum moar.  Thi baloon floats down a bit & I shout & curse but I keep swingin & swingin & eventyooly I'm whippin bak & forward in a olmost complete ½ sircil & the doars juss about in ranje; I fling out 1 leg & hook on2 thi sill ov thi doarway, then pool myself in wif my legz.