John’s words made me suck in a breath. I didn’t know what to say. The pure honesty in his voice, the conviction that he knew exactly what he was talking about without hesitation, without stuttering, made me want to be that person. It made me want to be able to drop my walls, to show him the woman I was all the time. While he’d seen and learned a lot of my secrets, he hadn’t managed to learn them all and I wanted to keep it that way. Some things are best left in the deep, dark recesses of one’s brain so no one else can be scared by them.
As much as I was attracted to John, I was unable to let go completely and I didn’t think I ever would be able to.
Chapter 4
John
I knew she was holding out on me. There was something she didn’t want to tell me, but I wasn’t going to let her keep any secrets. Well, I would for a bit. Eventually, though, she would share them. It was the only way she was ever going to be able to heal from her addiction and whatever had triggered her to have it. Not everyone had a reason, but from what little she’d told me about it I knew there was something in her past. Most people were trying to run from old demons. I knew I was. I had my own closet full of them that haunted me. One day I would have to share them with her, but until she was ready to share hers, my own would be kept locked away.
We would come to that level of trust and security eventually. What I really wanted was to get to know every quirk and curve of her body and personality. The woman under the meek and mild exterior she showed to the world. I’d seen the expressive, sensual woman in our time together with the blindfold, I just had to figure out how to get that same side to show without it.
Looking across the table at Alix was almost surreal. Me. On a date. With Alix. Who would’ve thought? I hadn’t dated much since Mariah and I split. Then much of my time was spent working or checking on Alix.
When the waiter returned I placed our order and he left us alone again. I was a regular. I didn’t order the same thing every time, though I’d sampled just about everything on the menu.
Carefully, I lifted the wine glass again for Alix, who sipped from it. I set the glass back on the table between us and really let my eyes take in her face. “Feeling calmer now, beautiful?” I asked. A few sips of wine and some time seemed all she needed to regain her composure.
“Yes, sir. Much better,” Alix said as she flashed me a smile. I could tell she was still a bit uncomfortable, but it was likely from the inability to use her arms freely. Then again, that was part of the experience, the unknown.
“Can I tell you my cock is so hard from knowing you are bound right here in the middle of this fancy restaurant, and we are the only people who know? It turns me on like you wouldn’t believe to know you are willing to hand over so much control and trust me so much in a public setting.” I leaned forward to trace her hair line with my fingertips. “I love knowing you are so dependent upon me to help you.”
“Only for you, John.” Alix nearly whispered the words, but I felt them soul-deep. I was coming to love the way she found sir, John and Master interchangeable when we were out and about, but when we were playing it was always Master or sir.
“That only makes me cherish it that much more, Precious.” Before I could continue, the waiter appeared with our plates of steaming food. After setting them down and refilling the glass of wine, he disappeared again. I grabbed my fork and smirked at Alix. “You see, this would be so much more fun if I pulled out the blindfold I have in my pocket. I won’t, though. I like seeing your eyes, since they were hidden from me for so long.”
“You have a blindfold with you right now?” Alix lifted an eyebrow in question as her eyes widened.
“I do. It’s more of a length of thick black satin than an actual blindfold, but yes, I have one. Would you like me to put it on you?” I wondered if she would go that far in public. It wouldn’t bother me to put it on her or sit at the table while people looked. I was more afraid she would clam up than anything. People judged no matter what so I might as well enjoy my life — besides, I’d probably never see them again anyway.
“Uh, no… No.” She cleared her throat and shook her head emphatically.
“Damn,” I said, biting down on my bottom lip to hide my smile. “Maybe next time.”
Cutting into the ravioli on my plate, I lifted a small bite to my mouth to blow on it before reaching across the small table. “Try this. It’s my favorite.”
As she opened her mouth, she locked eyes with me. She kept them on me as she chewed slowly before swallowing. “Delicious.”
“Want more?” I picked up another bite off the plate for her in anticipation.
“Don’t you want some?” she asked, dropping her eyes to my lips before they jumped back to mine.
“I’d rather watch you eat it.” It was true. I did. Everything she did was sensual and made me want to take her to bed or tie her down and turn her pretty skin turn pink. While we’d only had sex twice, many other acts we had explored were equally amazing.
“Maybe I’d like to watch you enjoy your food as well, Master.” Alix’s tongue darted out to wet her lips as she wiggled a bit in her chair.
Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on the table and lowered my voice. “Are you turned on, Precious?”
“Yes, sir.” Her answer was immediate even as she leaned in to me.
“Mmm. Too bad there is nowhere I could usher you away to help you. I guess you’ll have to tough it out,” I said. Her low-pitched moan made me smile. I had a small vibrator in my pocket that I planned to slip in her at some point, but it was too early in the night. Plus, I really didn’t know of somewhere I could sneak in a private moment. The tables weren’t draped with tablecloths for me to use as cover, sadly, so it would have to wait. Sitting back in my seat, I picked up the fork once again. “I guess we’d better finish the meal so we can get going, yes?”
“Yes, sir. Please,” Alix whimpered, shifting in her seat again.
I made quick work of the ravioli on my plate, alternating between taking bites myself and feeding Alix. Between bites, I helped her drink the glass of wine as well. Alix was no longer chewing with slow, careful bites, but rapidly, eager to leave. I wasn't going to object and neither was my dick. The damn thing got hard from practically every little thing she did. Add in the restraint barely hiding under the scarf wrapped around her and I wasn't likely to be getting soft anytime soon.
Once we finished the meal, the waiter appeared to take away the mostly-empty plates. "Can I offer you dessert or after-dinner coffee, perhaps?" he asked.
"No," Alix said immediately.
"Yes." I smiled at the hairy-eyed stare Alix flung my way. Hell, I could wait a few more minutes if it ratcheted her up even more. Always so eager to get to the fun part. I would need to teach her some patience. I kept my eyes on her as the waiter proceeded to list the desserts available. It didn't really matter what it was, it was more about the delay.
"The first one," I said not remembering what it was. Once the waiter left, I scratched my cheek and looked around the room before looking back at Alix. "Are you in a rush, Precious?"
"Are you not, sir?" Alix smirked. She had such a spunky personality when she got upset. It was quite attractive as long as she didn't push too far.
"Oh, I'm plenty ready to take you back to our room to show you what else I have planned for the night, but I also like to savor the moment. We will get there eventually and it'll be better for the wait," I explained.
"I'll have to take your word for it, sir. I can't say I enjoy waiting," Alix said.
"I can teach you. In fact, I have taught you already. You've learned to be patient when it comes to release. Have you not?" I leaned back in my seat when the waiter reappeared. I hadn't even realized I was leaning into her, wanting to get closer, until I had to make room for the dessert plate. The waiter scurried away when I handed him a stack of cash for the bill.