Once Eustice arrived with the spare horses and provisions, they made plans to break camp the next morning. That night, Brianna said her good-byes and took her pride back into the sky. Her task was to scout the situation south of them and then report back. The others slept through the night and then set out at dawn. There was now one horse for each of them and two packhorses, although their supplies were dwindling quickly. The sun was bright and there was a pleasant breeze blowing in off the ocean, making the ride pleasurable for everyone except Nycoll. She had spent the last decade of her life in the little cottage, and although Mansel had left a horse with her when he had been pursuing Prince Wilam, the horse had been lame and was traded in the local village not long after Mansel had left.
They rode for an hour, then stopped to stretch their legs. Zollin offered to help Nycoll, but she refused. He guessed that by the end of the day she would be sore enough to allow him to help, but he didn’t want to force her to do anything. She was a cautious person, and Zollin understood why. She had experienced heart-wrenching loss, and he respected the pain she felt, as well as the boundaries she had erected to protect herself.
“Thanks for offering to help,” Mansel said quietly to Zollin as they walked their horses for bit. They were far enough ahead of Eustice and Nycoll, who seemed to like the eunuch almost as much as she liked Mansel. “She’ll come around eventually.”
“I’m not worried about it,” Zollin said. “But you know she isn’t strong enough to stay with us.”
“She’s stronger than you think,” Mansel said defensively. “She’s lived alone in that cottage for years, fending for herself. You don’t know her like I do.”
“I agree, and I’m not trying to say anything about her character. I just don’t think it’s right for us to drag her into a war, not if we can help it.”
Mansel thought about what Zollin was saying for a minute. Part of him was angry that anyone would suggest that Nycoll wasn’t strong enough to do something, but part of him agreed with Zollin wholeheartedly. The last thing he wanted was to drag her into a dangerous situation where she might be hurt. On the other hand, he was loath to leave her behind. They had found her in the nick of time. A few more hours in the water and she might have died. It was a wonder she hadn’t drowned when the tide rose.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Mansel said.
“I’m not going to do anything you and Nycoll don’t agree with,” he explained. “But I was hoping we might find a place to leave her. You could stay with her too,” Zollin added quickly. “Or Eustice. I’m not trying to get rid of her, even if it seems that way. I only want to protect her. There’s really no need for you to stay with me. Between my magic and Brianna’s pride, there isn’t much you can do.”
“Never underestimate the value of good steel and someone who knows how to use it,” Mansel said. “Your father taught me that.”
“It’s good advice,” Zollin said. “You tell me what you want to do.”
Mansel thought for a few minutes before speaking. “I guess you’re right,” he finally admitted. “I just don’t like the thought of leaving her behind.”
“So, stay with her.”
“I don’t like the thought of leaving you behind either,” Mansel said, smiling.
“Let me ask you a serious question then. Are you coming along because you feel you owe me something? Because you really don’t. Killing Kelvich wasn’t your fault. You weren’t acting on your own mental powers.”
“I know, but that doesn’t make the responsibility any easier to bear. I took a man’s life, a man who had never harmed us and who had helped us a great deal. That’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be free of.”
“He wouldn’t want you to suffer,” Zollin said. “You didn’t know him like I did. He wasn’t proud of a lot of things he had done in his lifetime either. He knew what it was to feel remorse. I don’t think he would want you to live with guilt over his death.”
“But I do, Zollin. I want to help you, and I want to stay with Nycoll. Hell, I even want to bust some heads just because I like to, but the honest truth is, I feel like I have to do something to redeem myself.”
“You don’t, I forgive you. I’m sure Kelvich would too.”
“But I can’t forgive myself,” he said quietly.
Zollin didn’t respond at once. He knew self-forgiveness was difficult. He had struggled personally with the death of his mother, even though he was just an infant and his father had told him many times it wasn’t his fault. Still, the guilt plagued him all through his childhood, every time he missed her, or every time he saw the pain of loneliness in his father’s eyes.
“Well, I’ve got your back, whatever you decide to do,” Zollin finally said.
“I appreciate that,” Mansel said, looking Zollin in the eyes as he spoke. “Your family has been better to me than I deserve. Better than my own family ever was.”
“You will always have a friend in me,” Zollin said. “And I know my father loves you like a son.”
Mansel smiled. “I wish Quinn were here now,” he said. “I could use a good pep talk.”
“Well, I’m not Quinn, but I think you know what you need to do. You just need to give yourself permission to do it.”
They rode through the day, and made camp at sunset. The small villages along the coast were leery of anyone they didn’t know after the army’s foul treatment. Their winter stores had all been taken. The men who weren’t drafted into service or killed outright were busy fishing or rebuilding homes-many of which had been burned to the ground. No one had food to sell or time to bother with strangers, so Zollin and Mansel chose a secluded spot surrounded by tall sea dunes. Zollin made a fire and then saw to the horses while Eustice prepared supper. Mansel looked after Nycoll who never complained, but was obviously very saddle sore. She still refused to let Zollin heal her, so after he had seen to the horses he began transmuting some of the stones he found around their campsite to gold. It was long, tedious work, but it kept him busy and gave Mansel and Nycoll some privacy.
The next day, he gave the gold to Mansel.
“I didn’t think she’d accept it from me,” Zollin said, handing over a small bag full of plain gold coins.
“What’s this for?” Mansel asked.
“You’ll need it, or she will once we find a quiet inn where she can stay. That should be enough to keep her housed and fed for a year. Or, if you prefer, it will help the two of you make a new start together.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” Mansel said. “I can work, you know. I’m a pretty good carpenter.”
“Yes you are, but I hate to think of you selling your sword for tools,” Zollin said smiling.
“I’d rather cut off my own hand,” Mansel joked.
“Well, then use it for whatever you need. I’ll feel better knowing that you have it.”
“What about you?”
“I can always make more,” Zollin said.
They had to stop more frequently because of Nycoll’s pain. She was bruised all along the underside of her upper thighs and bottom. Even walking was painful, and finally around noon on their second day she relented and agreed to let Zollin help. He let his magic flow into her body, sweeping away the blood and antibodies that were making the bruises so painful. He also used some of the remaining Zipple Weed to boost her stamina.
The next three days passed quickly. They had left the trail of the army and were following the coast south. The army was traveling southeast, making straight for the Grand City. Zollin hoped they could reach a village that hadn’t been razed by the army where they might find a safe place for Nycoll. She seemed less intimidated by Zollin since he’d healed her, but she was still a melancholy woman, not given to idle talk or laughter. She seemed to come alive when Mansel paid her attention, but she faded into the background when the group was all together.