"But you didn't."
"You wouldn't let me. It was okay for you to be the one who loves and serves, but you never wanted me to…" She shrugged. "But that's okay. It just took me a little while to get up the gumption to handle you."
"And now you have?"
"I hope so." She took her plate and went over to the sink. "Go and check on the kid."
"Why this sudden outpouring?"
"It was time." She put the dishes in the dishwasher. "Do you think the President's ban on the hunk in the gatehouse includes me?"
"Yes, I do."
"Pity."
Jessica was smiling as she went upstairs. It was difficult not to smile when she was around Mellie. Her joie de vivre was nearly palpable. It was a pleasure to be in the same room, on the same planet with her.
Her smile faded as she reached Cassie's room. Come back, sweetheart. See what joy life can bring.
The scream tore through the night like a knife blade.
Jessica had been expecting it. The nightmares had occurred the last three nights in a row.
"It's okay, Cassie." She gathered the little girl close. "I'm here. You're safe."
She kept on screaming.
"Wake up, baby."
She kept on screaming.
Oh, God.
"Cassie."
The screams didn't stop.
"Shall I prepare a sedative?" Teresa asked.
Jessica didn't want to use a sedative. She had tried it with Mellie, who had told her later that at times it had frozen her in the nightmare, tearing her apart. If Jessica increased the trauma, it might drive Cassie deeper into withdrawal. "Not yet."
"Cassie." She rocked her back and forth. "Wake up, Cassie."
Five minutes later Cassie was still screaming. Then, suddenly, she went limp.
That frightened Jessica even more.
The child was lying still, but her eyes were open.
"Cassie?"
She checked her heart and vital signs. Rapid pulse, but in no danger-this time.
What was she thinking? This whole episode had been fraught with danger.
"I thought we'd lost her,"Teresa whispered.
Lost her mind or her life? Jessica had been afraid of both.
"You have to do something" Teresa said.
"I know that."
A half hour passed and Cassie's color gradually returned.
"Go and get some air," Teresa said. "You're paler than that child. I'll watch her."
"Just for a few minutes." Jessica stood up and arched her back to ease the tension. "Call me if there's any change."
She stopped in the hall and leaned back against the door.
"Is she okay?" Larry Fike asked. "She scared me to death."
"Me too. But she's resting now."
"All that screaming and sobbing…"
She nodded and started down the hall. Sobbing? Cassie hadn't been sobbing.
But there was sobbing, low, broken, barely audible.
She covild hear it and it wasn't coming from Cassie's room.
The blue room.
She moved slowly to the door. "Mellie?"
No answer.
She knocked and opened the door. "Mellie, are you-"
"I'm okay. Go away."
"The hell I will." In the darkness she could see Melissa in the big bed. "What's the matter?"
"What do you think? I'm pissed because you won't let me go after the hunk in the gatehouse."
"If it means that much to you, I'll serve him up on a silver platter." She moved across the room and sat down on the bed. "Now you don't have any excuse, so tell me the truth."
"I hate this stupid blue room."
"Mellie."
She launched herself into Jessica's arms. "We're hurting so bad," she whispered. "We almost died, Jessica."
"What?"
"They keep coming after us and we can't get away. And there's so much blood…We have to go deeper and deeper in the tunnel, but we still can't escape. There's only one way to escape."
Jessica froze. "Mellie. What are you saying?"
"What you don't want to hear. We're going to die, Jessica. We can't go on, we can't get away any other-"
"Mellie, shut up, you're scaring me to death." She reached over and turned on the lamp. "You're talking crazy."
Melissa didn't lift her head.
"You were just dreaming, right?"
"Yes…we were dreaming."
"Why do you keep saying we?"
"I think you know." She sat up and brushed hair out of her eyes. Her lips were trembling as she tried to smile. "After all, it's happened before."
Jessica moistened her lips. "Cassie?"
"She's a strong little girl. She had no trouble pulling me into the tunnel with her. Not like Donny Benjamin. He tried, but I was able to stay outside his little cave, even though he was so desperately lonely and I wanted to go in and keep him company." She took a deep breath. "If I'd gone in, he might never have come back. But he did come back. You brought him back. Just like you brought me back." She paused. "Only you brought something else back with me, didn't you?"
"You think you joined minds with Cassie?"
"I know I did." She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. "You don't want to believe it, like you didn't want to believe it about Donny. It scares you."
"Hell, yes. Doesn't it scare you?"
"Not most of the time. Tonight it did. I want to live."
"And Cassie doesn't?"
"When the nightmares are going on, she's scared and confused and wants only to get away. There's just one place safer and further away than her tunnel."
"Mellie."
"I'm sorry. I know this upsets you." She got out of bed and moved toward the bathroom. "I'm going to wash my face. Then, maybe, we'll go downstairs, get a glass of lemonade, and sit on the front porch and forget all this. Okay?"
How could she forget it? Jessica thought. When she'd been treating Donny Benjamin, she had been able to dismiss the idea that Melissa was able to join minds with the little boy. She had chalked it up to imagination and the fact that Melissa had only recently been brought back herself. After all, Jessica had talked with Melissa about Donny and his progress. Just as she had discussed Cassie with her sister.
But the dreams of Donny had not been laced with terror and sorrow. Melissa had just talked calmly and sympathetically about the boy and then retreated when she faced Jessica's bewilderment and distress.
"Stop fretting," Melissa said as she came out of the bathroom. "That's not why I came home. If you hadn't barged into my private sanctum and caught me at a weak moment, you'd never have had to face my little hallucinations."
"But you don't think they're hallucinations."
"Sure I do. If they're anything else, you'll worry yourself into a nervous breakdown. After six years in never-never land, it would be weird if I didn't have a few hallucinations."
"You're lying."
"Maybe." She headed for the door. "But not about wanting that glass of lemonade. Coming?"
"Nice night. I like this. I remember doing this when we were kids." The swing moved slowly. "Do you sit out here much, Jessica?"
"I don't have time." Jessica sipped her lemonade. "If I'm not working with a particular patient, I'm usually at the learning clinic for autistic children."
"So you've told me. Now, that's major depressing. Compared with working with the autistic, your six years with me must have been a party."
"There are certain similarities in treatment, and we've made breakthroughs."
"And you spend your life looking for them." Melissa was silent for a moment. "Was it me? Was I the one to blame?"
"Blame? I don't know what you're talking about."
"I remember how you were when I was a kid, before Mom and Dad died." She smiled. "Miss Popularity, a cheerleader. Everyone's best friend. With a healthy dose of selfishness thrown in."
"I was young."
"You're still young, and there's nothing wrong with selfishness. I think you've forgotten that." She sipped her lemonade. "And I probably am to blame. You were saddled with taking care of a zombie and you turned into Saint Jessica."