As I repacked my briefcase for the third time I could no longer deny that I was stalling. I should just leave. After all Allison never suggested that we commute together. After what had happened the night before she might prefer it if I just stayed away from her all together. “Coffee?” A voice called from behind me. I turned to find Allison standing in my doorway. She was dressed smartly in a cream colored suit. The light from the French doors illuminated her well-defined body. She was breathtaking. “I … um … um … yes.” I stammered. “Idiot!”
“Come on then.” She waved to me. Her voice had warmed considerably but I could still detect a hint of coldness to it.
I followed her obediently up the staircase. As we entered her apartment I could not help in thinking just how truly pathetic I was. The music was deafening, but I liked it. The steady rhythm of the guitar was intense. I felt my face redden as the sultry female sing crooned about you little secret. “Sorry about the music.” Allison shouted as she made her way over to the CD player and shut it off. “Melissa.” She stated simply with a shrug. “It is something of a morning ritual of mine. I never realized how loud it was sounded downstairs. George never complained.”
“It is all right. I like it.” I answered with a smile. “Who is Melissa?”
“How is your head?”
“Better.” I lied. “I still feel as if elves are tap dancing on my skull. How is your knee?”
“Fine.” She answered. “How do you like it?”
“What?” I gasped.
“Your coffee?” She offered in a bewildered tone. “How do you like your coffee … cream … sugar?”
“Just milk please.” I answered quickly feeling very foolish once again.
“I think there is some in the refrigerator. I’m not positive though. I drink mine black.” She offered in a casual manner. It would appear that Allison was at least trying to forget about the embarrassing events of last evening and this morning.
I thanked her as she placed a mug of coffee on the counter for me. I searched the bizarre contents of her refrigerator until I came upon a small carton of milk. It had been hidden behind something that was unidentifiable. I opened the carton and was suddenly overwhelmed. I do not know if it was the stench emanating from the carton or the tequila from last night or a combination of both … but I was about to be sick. I threw the carton into the sink and raced off to the bathroom.
Upon my return to the kitchen I found Allison cleaning up the mess I had made. “I’m so sorry Stephanie.” She apologized profusely meeting my gaze for the first time since we snuggled in bed this morning. “Allison Kendell that refrigerator is a disgrace.” I said trying to regain my composure.
“I know… I know.” She looked down in embarrassment. ” I keep meaning to clean it out. But I never seem to get around to it. Plus I never cook and I drink my coffee black and … and … I’m sorry.”
“Forget it. I used your toothbrush.” I snarled as I retrieved my coffee from the counter.
“That seems fair.” She laughed.
“I think I just switched to black coffee as well.” I said, afraid to ask for some sugar. As I sipped the coffee slowly I braced myself for the bitter after taste. But there wasn’t any just a slight hint of vanilla. I had the impression that Allison was not as inept in the kitchen as would like to appear to be. But then again Oscar Madison had a clean fridge so there goes that theory. “Can I asked you something?”
“Sure.” She responded carefully.
“The music … who is Melissa?” I asked.
“Etheridge… Melissa Etheridge.” She answered with a combination of shock and horror.
“Of course.”
“Don’t you have lesbians in Connecticut?”
“No.” I stated blankly. “We send them all to New York.”
“Humor?” She teased.
We stood there silence as we sipped our coffee each lost in our own thoughts. “I’m sorry Stephanie.” She said finally breaking the uneasy silence. “For?” I responded in confusion.
“Last night … this morning.” She whispered sincerely.
“Why? You are not the one who got drunk and then made a pass at your hostess. Then there is the inflicting of bodily injury and of course throwing up.” I sighed in defeat. “Wait I won’t apologize for throwing up that was definitely your fault. Next time remember that they put expiration dates on things for a reason.”
“Well you can let yourself off the hook for my knee as well. Technically I did that to myself.” She teased.
“While trying to avoid my advances.” I insisted.
“Well at least I did not end up in the emergency room.” She laughed in a vain attempt to lighten the mood. “Could you imagine trying to explain to some poor intern at three in the morning that you tripped over your own pants.”
“The past twenty four hours have been something of a roller coaster ride.” I said absently.
“Poor baby.” She sighed compassionately.
Somehow I knew that at that moment she wanted to touch me. I also knew that I wanted her to do it. The moment passed and she did not reach out to me. “Everything is suddenly very confusing.” I admitted finally praying that she understood what it was that I was trying to say.
“I do not want to cause you anymore confusion.” She spoke with such tenderness. I watched intently as she brushed back a lock of her raven hair. “And I won’t. I would like for us to friends. But if my friendship causes you any problems I could …”
“No.” I interrupted her those blue eyes grew dark. “No your friendship won’t cause me any problems.” I clarified. “Allison I haven’t had very many lasting friendships in my life. I am just starting to realize that it is my fault. I treasure your friendship and I would like to keep it.”
Allison had insisted on driving to campus. Along the drive Allison complained nonstop about having to wear high heels and a skirt. As she ranted I could not help but notice how great she looked. “Why can’t I just stop looking at her? Are you nuts? A blind man could see how hot this woman is. That is so true I may or may not be gay but anyone would stare at those legs that just keep going on and on and … . and on … and …”
“I mean what sick bastard invented these things. Like I’m not tall enough.” Allison continued to bitch about her footwear. There something about Allison that I noticed this morning in addition to her legs. She was going to great lengths to avoid eye contact with me. It was a small thing but even during our first encounter Allison had always maintained direct eye contact. After watching her over the past few weeks I picked up on the fact that she made a point to do this with everyone. Until now. Wow I must have really freaked her out. “Why should she be freaked out? Even if I am a lesbian she has made it quite clear that she is not an option.”
Upon arriving on campus we went directly to our office. How comforting it all sounded, our office …our house. From the other side of the partition that separated our desks I could hear Allison fumbling around. I wanted so desperately to go to her. I pushed the thought from my mind as I dialed the telephone company and made the necessary arrangements to have my new telephone installed. Of course these days there was no actual installation. You buy a new phone and someone somewhere flips a switch. I groaned as the woman on the other end listed my options. I needed to choose a local carrier and a long distance carrier and did I want Internet services, voice mail, caller id and so on. I chose my local and long distance carriers and made a note about the Internet. Not sure if I would need it since I was already on line at my office here on campus. I carefully jotted down my new telephone number as the very pleasant woman read it off. She informed me that my new service would be connected no later than tomorrow afternoon. The woman’s voice was very soothing and I found myself doing what I always did. I tried to picture what she looked like. Suddenly I blushed as this innocent game that I had always played took on a new meaning.