“Now as your friend I think that I should take you to the grocery store.” Allison offered suddenly avoiding eye contact. “Since we both know you cannot rely upon my cooking.”
“You know where the grocery store is?” I teased her.
“I think so.” She laughed.
After a brief discussion Allison allowed me to pay the check. I wanted to thank her for all of her help. We strolled down to the local market. As we shopped we shared a cart-it made sense. I could not help but notice the looks we were receiving. As we strolled up and down the aisles we went over a list of what I needed. I felt comfortable with her as we argued over what to buy. I tried to convince Allison that fresh fruits and vegetables were a good idea. She in turn extolled the virtues of Pop Tarts and coffee. When I mentioned that I would need a table for my computer, she questioned me as to where I would put it?
“I should be able to squeeze something in.” I protested knowing that she was right.
“I have a suggestion.” She offered. “My apartment is actually two. I took over the upper floor when the old tenants moved out. I pay more but I needed the space for all of my books and stuff. I have a spare room upstairs that I never use. You could use it as a study. I mean if you would like to?”
“Are you sure?” I questioned her as I wondered, ” Just how does someone take over a second apartment and convert it? Most people would just move to a bigger place. Yet another mystery.”
“It is just sitting there. I never use the space except for storage. The good news is that there is already a desk in there. The former tenants left it.”
“Why?”
“It will not fit through the doorway. Believe me I have tried.” Allison replied. “I think it has been up there for years and somewhere along the line someone changed the doorway. Probably when the house was converted into apartments. Someone just forgot to remove the desk.”
After I reluctantly agreed to accept the use of Allison’s spare room she decided to fill me in on our neighbors. Mine was the only apartment on the first floor since the entry way was so large. Which was typical of the architecture of the time. Behind her apartment on the second floor was Hal. He was a physics professor at Haven and a transvestite, so I should not be surprised to see a man wearing a dress wandering the hallway. Above Hal was Althea she was a cop on the local police force and I may never meet her since she worked very odd hours. After she filled me in on the neighborhood gossip we paid for our purchases and drove home.
Allison helped me unload my groceries and I kept mulling over her offer. I really needed the space and I would love an excuse to get closer to her. I just didn’t want to push any harder than I already have. Lord knows I have not been the picture of diplomacy the last twenty-four hours. “Allison, are you certain that it won’t be an inconvenience my using that room?” I finally asked. ” I do not want to invade your privacy.”
“Please.” She scoffed at me. “I lead a nun’s life. It would be nice to have some company.”
“Why don’t you use the desk or the extra room?” I asked.
“The room is not very big and I have been using the same writing table since I was a teenager.” She explained as she looked for a place to put all of the can goods I purchased. “Then again we may need that space for all the food you bought.” She teased. “Stephanie I would not have offered it if I didn’t want you there. It is just going to waste.”
“So tell me what is so special about the writing table that you use?” I questioned her as I relieved her of the cans of soup she was holding.
“It was my Great Grandmothers.” She answered proudly. “Actually she was my Great Great Grandmother. The extra great just sounds a little silly.”
“Haley Ballister?” I gaped in wonderment. “She does all of her work on Haley Ballister’s desk!” The historian in me was drooling at the thought.
“Yes it was hers.” Allison confirmed. “You know that ninety out of one hundred Civil War historians have no idea who Stephan Ballister was?”
“It’s an interesting story.” I retorted. “A gentleman from the upper levels of New Orleans high society chooses to enlist in a company full of immigrants and drunkards. Why?”
“And your theory is?” She asked as she folded the paper shopping bags neatly.
“He was not your Great Great Grandfather.” I answered simply. “Excuse the extra great and any implications against your family name.”
“Please.” Allison scoffed. “You don’t even want to know how the Kendell’s made their money. As for the Ballisters they were plantation owners in the Deep South. I do not have to explain to you what that means. They made their name off of the backs of people they enslaved. Not a very proud history if you ask me.”
“Is that why the family won’t show the diaries?” I began to wonder if I was on the right track with my theory.
“No.” Allison answered with a smile. “Haley wasn’t like the others. Truth be told we have shown the diaries. But no one wanted to tell the true story.”
“You are kidding?” I was amazed. “What was in those diaries? Maybe nothing at all? Then why not just say that?”
“No.” Allison sighed deeply. “I have always wanted to. You know that Maureen is pushing me to publish.”
“I heard.” I answered quietly trying not to get my hopes up.
“Oh?” Allison smiled with a cocky grin. “My previous books were well … let’s just say they had a lot of pictures in them. Your books on the other hand are brilliant. Is there any chance that you would consider co-writing Haley’s story with me?”
I wanted to leap into her arms and not just because she had just offered me the opportunity of a lifetime. I really need to find some way of controlling my emotions. “Are you certain?” I asked carefully. “After last night do you think that you can trust me?”
“Last night was last night.” Her deep voice answered soothingly. “You are a brilliant writer and a dedicated scholar. Just because you found me attractive while under the influence of tequila is no reason not to trust you. After some ups and downs we did manage to get through today. I’m thinking that it was just the tequila talking.”
“And if it wasn’t?” I asked seriously.
“Peter.” She responded flatly.
“Do you find it strange that you mention his name more than I do?” I said quietly. “I am starting to realize that I might be doing to him what you did to Chris.”
“You make your own choices.” Allison stated sadly. “I would like to make one suggestion. Perhaps the next time you kiss a woman you might want to try it sober. It just might be harder to find an excuse.” There was something cruel in her voice that made me shiver. Jessica Beaumont’s wound may have healed; but she definitely left a scar. I was never going to be anything more than a friend to this woman. And a part of me hated her for forcing me out of her heart. A larger part of me wanted to hunt down Jessica Beaumont rip out her heart and scatter it to the four winds. I was forced to abandon my thoughts of revenge when Allison suggested that we bring the futon in and get it set up.
After we unloaded the car and set up the futon we then proceeded to move my computer into the small upstairs office. Allison even offered to have a second line installed so I would have my own Internet access. When I protested about running up her phone bill she explained that she used a cable service instead. She showed me on her own computer, it was amazing just one click and there you were. Even at the University we still had to dial up and deal with the constant disconnections and busy signals. I accepted Allison’s offer when she agreed to allow my to pay for the instillation and the small additional monthly fee.
After we finished with the computer and setting up the last of my things in the tiny apartment, we decided to relax. We sat out on the balcony of Allison’s apartment and looked at the stars. Allison opened a bottle of white zinfandel. She gave me a glass after I pledged scout’s honor not to let it go to my head. I knew that she was teasing. But I was also aware that there was just a hint of truth in her joking. A part of me was hurt and a part of me was offended. How could I be feeling so many conflicting emotions at once. As I stared at the stars I wondered had I really been living my life of just simply walking through it?