I stepped out into the freezing night air and walked to the T station. As I walked I was filled with mixed emotions. On the one hand I felt very much like an outsider. On the other hand the young girl’s advances had made me feel less like a wallflower. I was positive that I could get the hang of this. There must be an easier way than this though? What was the proper etiquette for lesbian dating? If I was to move on with my life this was something I needed to find out.
It was after midnight when I returned to Haven. Upon approaching the house I could see Courtney’s Volvo pulling away. It had been a rough week but I had survived. When I entered my apartment the light greeted me on my answering machine blinking. I checked the machine to find two messages waiting for me. The first was from Peter wanting to know how I was doing. He still sounded hurt as he stammered through his message. I needed to talk to him but not now.
The second message threw me for a loop. It was from Allison wanting to know if I wanted to have dinner with her. She also wanted to know if I was all right? I could not help but wonder if Courtney had been her plan B for the evening. It didn’t matter. I needed to move on. Even though I vowed to remain strong I listened to Allison’s message several times before I could erase it.
Another week passed in much the same fashion. I avoided Allison whenever she was around, which was not often. She was persistent though. She would always invite me to lunch or dinner. I declined politely enough explaining that I had far too much work to do. It pained me to say no but I felt I had no other option. That Thursday I returned to the Galaxy once again. I took the train in for the long journey into the city. With all of the transfers it could be confusing but I seemed to be getting the hang of changing from the green line to the red line. That night I found myself having a good time. The same girl with glasses asked me to dance once again. This time I turned her down directly. As I stood at Daisy’s bar I watched some people shooting pool.
I was growing bored and a little tired when I decided that it was time to leave. I searched my pocket for my coat check ticket. “You won’t find it in there.” A voice came from behind me. I spun around to find myself looking at a very attractive blonde with dark brown eyes. “And what won’t I find in there?” I played along relieved to find someone talking to me who was closer to my age. “My phone number.” Her eyes lit up as she played with me. “Really?” I continued our game as I smiled up at the taller woman.
“Tell me something.” I purred.
“Anything.” She cooed.
“Does this line ever work for you?” I laughed.
“Never.” She confessed brightly. “Rita.” She introduced herself and offered her hand.
“Stephanie.” I replied as I shook her hand warmly.
“So Stephanie should I try some more of my tired old all be it useless lines out on you?” She spoke gently as she leaned closer to me. “Or have you fallen madly in love with me already?” I laughed at her attempts. “Hmm it appears I still have to work my charms. Let’s see so what’s your sign?” I laughed harder at her antics. “Buy you a drink?” I laughed again. “Hey I was serious about that one.” She said sweetly. “Could I buy you a drink?” She repeated this time with sincerity.
“I’m sorry thank you but I was just about to leave.” I explained.
“No.” She protested. “Not without dancing with me first.” I offered no resistance as she escorted me out onto the dance floor.
Rita proved to be a fantastic dancer. I couldn’t believe that I was dancing with another woman. It felt right. I finally felt as if I belonged. There was something about the way she moved her body that excited me. Granted it was nothing close to what I felt when I watched Allison. But it was a start. When we finished our dance she took me by the hand and led me back to Daisy’s bar. We talked for a short while. I found that Rita was bright and intelligent and easy to talk to. She owned a small boutique on Newbury Street. She was everything I could want in a woman except for one small thing she wasn’t Allison. “I could have just kicked myself!”
I looked at my watch and gasped realizing that I had lost track of the time. “I have to go.” I blurted out suddenly.
“No.” She pouted. “I thought I was just beginning to charm you.”
“I have a train to catch.” I explained.
“Oh.” Her eyes widen. “I understand you don’t want to get stuck in town. Before you dash off Cinderella could I call you?” She requested with a slight blush.
I was at a loss as to just what I should do. Before I could conjure up some lame excuse Daisy placed pen and paper on the bar in front of me. There was simply no way of declining her request without being rude. I quickly scrawled my phone number on the paper and made my exit. After retrieving my coat from the coat check I raced out of the club and down Mass. Ave. I dashed into the T stop and was lucky to catch the waiting red line train to Park Street Station. From there I made my transfer to the green line. This time I was not so fortunate. It seemed to take an eternity for the correct train to arrive. Once I arrived at North Station I raced across the staircases and out into the street and crossed over to the commuter rail. I quickly scanned the monitors hoping that my train to Haven was still there. I had missed it. “Now what?” There were two options available to me. I could call the only person I knew in Haven that might come and get me. Or I could thank the powers that be that I had the foresight to bring my credit card with me.
Calling Allison was out of the question. I had no doubt that she would come to my rescue. But I possessed no desire to call her and explain that I had been cruising women and missed my train. Plan B it was. Thank God for plastic. Upon exiting the taxi I was uncertain what hurt me more? Seeing Courtney drive away at this hour or the seventy-five dollar charge on my visa card. As I approached the house I felt my breath catch in my throat. There she was standing out on her balcony. She was a vision bathed in moonlight. I just stood there mesmerized watching her staring out into the darkness. I felt the tears caress my face as I watched her. “What are you thinking about Allison? What is it out there in the darkness that you find so captivating?” It was as if she had sensed my presence as she turned slowly and looked down upon the street to where I was standing. She smiled sadly and turned away and entered her apartment. As her image faded from view I regained the use of my legs and entered the house.
I had no recall of how long I had stood on that sidewalk watching her. I could not erase the image of her from my thoughts. I wanted to nothing more than race up to her apartment. To go to her to touch her. Somehow I resisted the temptation and showered before climbing into bed. I lay awake thinking of her until the sun came up.
The following evening Rita called and invited me to lunch on Saturday. I was about to decline her offer when something stopped me. It was the sound of Allison and Courtney laughing on the staircase. I accepted the date with Rita instantly. As I hung up the telephone I felt very proud of myself for taking the first steps to break free of Allison. Yet there was still something nagging at me. It was the tone of Rita’s voice. It was so familiar. I had heard it many times over the past couple of weeks. It was the same tone Allison had used when she would invite me to dinner or lunch. Had Allison been asking me out on dates this entire time? That simply did not make any sense. Allison was seeing someone.
I decided that it didn’t matter. Even if Allison had been asking me out, there was no way I was about to play second fiddle to some kid. But had she been asking me out? It was all very confusing. Maybe this was simply the way that lesbians spoke to each other. I was so new to all of this. One thing was apparent I had a great deal to learn. Perhaps the lovely Rita would be the one who could teach me?