“Zeppo! Glad you could make it!” I hoped he would notice the barb in my voice. He only grinned.
“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. This is Angie.”
The girl was obviously some sort of model, blonde and flamboyantly beautiful. I said hello and stood back to let them in. She took off her coat and held it out for me. Underneath she wore a very short, very tight red dress that clung to her undeniably spectacular body. She was another of Zeppo’s suggestions. I had not been enthusiastic. Now, seeing her, I felt even less so.
“Let me get you both a drink,” I said. Zeppo caught my look.
“I’ll come with you. Won’t be long, Angie.”
We left her in the lounge and went to the drinks table. “Where have you been?” I demanded, keeping my voice low. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
He seemed unconcerned. “Blame Angie. I didn’t think we were going to make it at all. She wouldn’t leave the house until I’d fucked her.” I almost dropped the bottle I was holding. Zeppo laughed. “Don’t worry. We both showered afterwards.”
I tried not to let my distaste show. “I hope neither of you are too tired to make a further effort.”
“Oh, no. We’re both raring to go.”
I looked over to where the girl was standing. Her pose was self-conscious and displaying. “Are you sure she’s suitable?” I asked, doubtfully.
“Angie? Christ, I should say so. Her nickname’s Martini. You know, anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Anybody.”
“You don’t think she might be... well, a little too obvious, do you?”
He popped a canapé into his mouth. “I’m sorry, Donald, but I couldn’t find a Girl Guide at such short notice. Come on, relax. I bet there’s not a man in the place who’s not panting at the sight of her. Present company excepted, of course.”
I wondered if he was drunk. But he seemed sober enough. I ignored the jibe. “What exactly did you tell her?”
“Just that we’d got to go to a boring party. I bet her she couldn’t get off with whoever I picked out. To give us more chance I said she could have a week to do it in, so long as she makes a start tonight.”
“And she agreed?”
“Oh yeah. Provided I didn’t pick anyone who was either gay or too old to get it up.”
“Good God.” I looked at the girl again. Two men were already talking to her. “What on earth did you bet her?”
“Whoever loses has to be the other one’s slave for a day. They have to do whatever the other wants.” A rather unpleasant smile touched his lips. “I’ve already got one or two ideas if she loses.” He shrugged. “But she’d still have done it if it had only been for a packet of crisps. Angle’s game for anything. Now why don’t you pour me a drink like you said, and point the happy couple out for me.”
I glanced around to check where Anna and Marty were. “They’re over by the far wall to your left. What would you like to drink?”
“A Manhattan. Same for Angie, since you forgot to ask her.” He glanced over. “The one with dark hair and the black dress?”
“Yes.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Not bad. I see what you mean about the boyfriend. No wonder you’re pissed off.”
“Quite.”
“He must have a big cock.” I slopped the vermouth on to the table. Zeppo grinned. “Sorry.”
I handed him the drinks, impassively mopping up the spilt liquid. “I don’t really think that sort of talk is appropriate, do you?” I said. “I trust you’ll be able to restrain yourself when you talk to Anna.”
A smirk played around his mouth. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman, don’t worry.”
In view of his strange behaviour that was easier said than done. “When do you intend to start?”
He shrugged. “No time like the present. I’ll get Angie away from those two before she drags them into the bedroom, and we can all go over.”
Trying to ignore my misgivings, I led the way to where Anna and Marty were talking with a middle-aged woman, an acquaintance of mine who ran an interior design business.
“I don’t think any of you have met Angie and Zeppo,” I said. I performed the introductions, then turned to Marty. “There’s someone over here you might like to meet. A fellow countryman of yours.”
“Oh... yes, okay.” He gave Anna a quick look as I guided him away, pretending not to notice his lack of enthusiasm.
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy talking to him,” I said, steering him towards the other American, a man I hardly knew, and who I had invited expressly for that purpose. I left them together and wandered off, catching Zeppo’s eye and giving a brief nod. Shortly afterwards I saw the girl he had brought detach herself and go to the drinks table. But instead of returning to Zeppo, she strolled over to where Marty was listening with a bored expression to the older man. He seemed pleased at the interruption.
I poured myself another drink and tried to relax. Then I noticed that the designer was still talking to Anna and Zeppo. I went over.
“My dear Miriam, I almost forgot! You must come and have a look at my new acquisition. I bought it for purely commercial reasons, and I would love your opinion. Personally, I think it’s awful, so there’s a good chance you’ll like it.”
She laughed. “In that case you’re probably right.”
I explained to Anna and Zeppo. “We have a long-standing argument over what qualifies as art and what’s simply design, and I’ve been dying to fuel the fire with this particular monstrosity for ages.”
“Donald, you’re just a nineteenth-century throwback,” Miriam said. “Sometimes I despair of you.”
“Then there’s hope for me yet. But I doubt even you can defend this abomination. I can’t wait to sell it, to be honest. I only kept it here to show you.” I took her arm and eased her away. The painting was in another room. As we went out I looked back. Anna was laughing at something Zeppo had said. At the other side Marty and the girl seemed deep in conversation. I took both as hopeful signs and tried not to speculate any further.
Zeppo and the girl left shortly after midnight. I did not have a chance to speak to him privately again, but as far as I could tell there was no repetition of the strange behaviour he had exhibited earlier. At least, both he and the girl spent considerable time alone with their prospective if ignorant partners, which was encouraging.
“I’ll phone you tomorrow,” he said when I walked them to the door. I concealed my impatience and said goodnight.
Back inside, Anna and Marty were also getting ready to go. I had to leave them in the hallway while I attended to a glass of red wine one oaf had knocked over. Neither of them noticed when I returned. Marty was standing behind Anna, helping her with her coat, and as she shrugged it on he leaned forward and gently kissed the nape of her neck. She smiled without turning around, bending her head slightly. The moment was spontaneous and private, and I could not bear to watch it. Clearing my throat, I quickly walked towards them.
“Ready?” I said, brightly. “Well, thank you both for coming.”
They had moved apart when they heard me. Anna smiled. “Thanks for inviting us. We’ve really enjoyed it.” Marty fiddled with his glasses and murmured in agreement.
I could not resist probing. “I’m sorry I’ve hardly had a chance to speak to either of you all evening. I hope you managed to find someone interesting to talk to. I shouldn’t say it, but I know some of the guests were a little dull, even if they are friends of mine.”
“No, it’s been lovely. Really.”
They were clearly waiting to leave. I said goodnight and let them go. As I closed the door I felt a sense of anticlimax. The introductions had been made, and now all I could do was wait to hear from Zeppo. Frustration mingled with the now familiar hollowness the thought of Anna going home with Marty gave me. I stood in the hallway until both had faded to a manageable level, and then went back to the remaining guests. About a dozen still remained. I gave them another half-hour and then began to usher them out.