“I plan to be there, Mom.”
She made a face. “That's the most disgusting thing I ever heard.” She then lowered her voice conspiratorially. “You know, you'll never feel the same way about her again if you see the baby being born. Take my word for it. I've heard stories that would make you sick…. Besides”—she sat up again with a dignified sniff—“a decent woman wouldn't want you there. That's a horrible thing for a man to see.”
“Mom, it's a miracle…. There's nothing horrible or indecent about seeing your wife giving birth.” He was so proud of her, and he wanted to see their baby coming into the world, he wanted to be there to welcome him or her. They were going to see a movie of a baby being born, so they both knew what to expect. None of it seemed disgusting to him, just a little frightening sometimes. And he knew Liz was a little nervous about it too, even though she'd had one child, but that had been six years before. But it all still seemed so far away to both of them. They still had another six months to go, and they could hardly wait. And by the end of the meal Ruth had not only planned the entire layette and suggested the best nursery schools in Westchester, she was urging him to make his son go to law school when he grew up. They drank a lot of champagne and she was a little tipsy when they left, but it was the nicest dinner he had had with her in a long time, and he conveyed Liz' invitation to them. And he was just drunk enough himself that the prospect of having them stay with them didn't even frighten him.
“Liz wants you to come out for the holidays.” He looked at both of them.
“And you don't?”
“Of course I do, Mom. And she wants you to stay with us.”
“Where?”
“Jane can sleep in the baby's room.”
“Never mind. We'll stay at the Huntington like we did before. That way we won't bother you. When does she want us for?”
“Her Christmas vacation starts on December twenty-first, I think. Something like that. Why don't you come out then?”
“She won't still be working, will she, Bernard?”
He smiled at her. “I've been surrounded by stubborn women all my life. She's going to work right up until the Easter holidays, and then take a leave from school after that. Her friend Tracy will substitute for her. They already have it all worked out between them.”
“Meshuggeneh. She should be home in bed by then.”
He shrugged. “She won't, and the doctor says she can work right till the end … so will you come?”
There was a twinkle in her eyes as she smiled at him. “What do you think? You think I'm not going to come and visit my only son, in the godforsaken place he lives?”
He laughed at her. “I wouldn't exactly call it that, Mom.”
“It's not New York.” He glanced around them wistfully at the cabs flying past, the people walking by, the little shops on Madison Avenue only a few feet from them as they waited for the doorman to find them a cab. There were times when he felt his romance with New York would never end, and San Francisco still felt like an exile to him. “San Francisco's not so bad.” He was still trying to convince himself of that, in spite of how happy he was there with Liz, but he would have been happier with her in New York. His mother shrugged, and looked at him ruefully.
“Just so you come home soon. Especially now.” They were all thinking of Liz and the child she was to bear. His mother acted as though it were a gift especially for them. “Take care of yourself.” She hugged him tight as a taxi finally stopped for them, and there were tears in her eyes as she took a step back from him. “Mazel tov, to both of you.”
“Thank you, Mom.” He squeezed her hand and he and his father exchanged a warm look, and then they waved and were gone and he walked slowly back to his hotel, thinking of them, and Liz, and Jane, thinking how lucky he was …no matter where he lived. Maybe it didn't matter so much for now …San Francisco would be easier for Liz this year, better than slipping on ice, and battling the snow and the elements. It was just as well, he convinced himself…. And the next day when he left it was pouring rain. And the city still looked beautiful to him. It was blanketed in gray, and as the plane rose in the sky, he thought of his parents again. It must have been hard for them, having him so far away. He suddenly understood it differently now that he was having his own child. He would have hated his son to live so far away. And then he leaned his head back against the seat and smiled to himself, thinking of Liz and the baby they would have…. He hoped it would look like her, and he wouldn't have minded a little girl … a little girl…. He drifted off to sleep, and slept most of the way to Europe.
The week in Paris went too fast, and from there he went to Rome and Milan, as he always did. This time he went to Denmark and Berlin, as well, with a round of meetings in London before he left. It was a very successful trip and he was away for almost three weeks, and when he saw Liz again he laughed at her. Her stomach had suddenly exploded while he was gone, and she couldn't wear her clothes anymore. And when she lay in bed, she looked as though she'd swallowed a cantaloupe.
“What's that?” He grinned at her after the first time they made love again.
“I dunno.” She threw out her hands in ignorance as she lay naked on their bed, her hair in pigtails and their clothes strewn across the floor. They hadn't waited very long, and they were in a hurry before Tracy brought Jane home from an excursion they'd been on.
But when Liz got up and walked across the room, and saw Bernie watching her, she felt self-conscious suddenly, and she pulled his shirt on and covered herself. “Don't look at me …I'm so fat I hate myself.”
“Fat? Are you crazy? You've never looked better. You're gorgeous!” He came over and gently fondled her behind, and then let his hand drift over the cantaloupe with fascination.
“Any idea what it is?” He was curious.
She shrugged with a smile. “It's bigger than Jane was at this point, but that doesn't mean anything.” And then, hopefully, “Maybe it's a boy. That's what you want, isn't it?”
He cocked his head to one side, looking at her. “I don't really think I care. Just so it's okay. When do we go back to the doctor again?”
“Are you really sure you want to do that?” She looked at him worriedly and he was stunned.
“What's happened to you?” And then he understood perfectly. “Has my darling mother been talking to you?” She blushed and then shrugged again, trying to brush it off and explain it at the same time, and he held her close to him. “You're beautiful to me. And I want to share this with you …all of it…the good, the bad, the scary part, the wonder of it all. We both made this child, and now we're both going to share it as much as we can. Is that okay with you?”
She looked relieved and her eyes were bright as she looked at him. “You're sure it won't turn you off forever?” She looked so worried and he laughed, remembering their antics in bed only moments before. He waved at the bed and then kissed her tenderly.
“Did I seem turned off to you?” She giggled happily and hugged him tight.
“Okay …I'm sorry …” And with that, the doorbell rang, and they jumped back into their clothes again as quickly as they could, in time to welcome Tracy and Jane. He tossed the child into the air and showed her all the goodies he'd brought her from France, and it was hours later before Liz and Bernie were alone again.
She curled into bed next to him, and they chatted for a while, about his work, the store, the trip, and the child she was carrying. She seemed more interested in that than anything these days and he didn't mind. It was his baby too, and he was so proud of her. He pulled her into his arms, and they went to sleep, as she purred contentedly beside him.