“I'm sorry you ever had to go through all that, baby …but it's all over now.”
“He was such a terrible man.” She looked so little and she said it so sadly, and then she looked up at him with enormous eyes. “I'm glad Mommy never knew. She would have been very angry.”
Bernie smiled at the choice of words. “Yes, she would have. But it's all over now, baby … all over …” It was amazing, and he still couldn't believe it, as the reality sank in slowly. Scott was out of their lives. Forever.
They called Grandma Ruth a little while later, and told them to take the next plane they could get. He explained everything before Jane got on, but she gave her grandmother all the gory details herself. “And he was lying in this enormous pool of blood, Grandma …honest…right on the sidewalk … it was really, really yucky.” But she looked so relieved. She suddenly looked like a little girl again. He told Grossman as well, and Nanny invited Bob Blake to join them for dinner, but he was anxious to get home to his wife. They were going to a Christmas party. And Bernie and Jane and Nanny and Alexander sat down to dinner. And Jane looked up at him, remembering the candles they had lit with Grampa on Friday nights, before her mother had died. She wanted to do it again, and suddenly there was time for everything. They had a whole life to look forward to. Together.
“Daddy, tomorrow can we light the candles?” “What candles?” He had been helping her to some meat and then suddenly he understood, and felt guilty that he wasn't more observant of some of the traditions he'd grown up with. “Sure, sweetheart.” And then he leaned over and kissed her, as Nanny smiled, and Alexander dug his fingers into the mashed potatoes. It was almost as though life was normal. And maybe one day it might be.
Chapter 33
It almost made Bernie shudder to go back to the same courtroom, but it was something that meant a great deal to both of them. And his parents had flown out again especially to be present. And Grossman had asked the judge if he would do it in chambers. They had come to City Hall for Jane's adoption.
The papers were waiting for them, and the judge Jane had never seen before smiled down at her and then glanced up at the family who had come with her. There was Bernie, of course, and his parents, and Nanny in her best blue uniform with the white collar. She never took a day off, and she never wore anything except the immaculate starched uniforms she ordered from England. And she had brought Alexander in a little blue velvet suit, and he was muttering happily as he took all of the judge's books off one of the lower shelves and stacked them up so he could stand on them to reach the next ones. Bernie went to scoop him up and held him as the judge looked at them solemnly and explained why they were there.
“It is my understanding”—he looked at Jane—“that you wish to be adopted, and that Mr. Fine wishes to adopt you as well.”
“He's my father,” she explained quietly, and the judge looked briefly confused and then glanced at his papers again. Bernie would have preferred to have someone else do the adoption, he still remembered him only too well from the fiasco in December when he had given custody to Chandler Scott, but no one mentioned that now as they went on.
“Yes, well …let's see.” He examined the adoption papers, and asked Bernie to sign, then Grossman to witness it. And Bernie asked his parents to witness it as well.
“Can I sign too?” Jane asked, wanting to be part of it, and the judge hesitated. No one had ever asked him that before.
“There's no need for you to sign anything …er …uh …Jane…. But I suppose you could sign the papers too, if you'd like to.”
She smiled up at Bernie and then back at the judge again. “I'd like to do that, if it's okay.”
He nodded, and passed one of the documents to her, and she looked at it solemnly and signed her name. And then the judge looked at all of them. “I hereby declare, by the power vested in me by the State of California, that Jane Elizabeth Fine is now the lawful daughter of Bernard Fine, adopted on this twenty-eighth day of January.” He rapped a small gavel he kept on his desk, and stood up and smiled at all of them, and in spite of the terrible thing he'd done to Bernie before, he shook Bernie's hand. And then Bernie scooped Jane up in his arms, just as he had when she was a much smaller girl, and he kissed her and then set her down again.
“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered.
“I love you too.” He smiled down at her, wishing that Liz could have been there. And wishing also that he had done it all a long time ago. If he had, he would have saved all of them a great deal of pain. Chandler Scott wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. But it was too late to worry about that. It was all over now. And a new life had begun for them. She was truly his daughter now, and Grandma Ruth was crying as she kissed her, and Grampa shook Bernie's hand.
“Congratulations, son.” It was like getting married all over again, and they went to Trader Vic's for lunch, except for Nanny and Alexander. And while everyone was ordering lunch, Bernie slipped his hand into Jane's and smiled down at her. And without saying anything to her, he slipped a little gold ring on her finger. It was a delicate braid of gold with a single pearl. She looked down at it with wide eyes, and then looked up at him again.
“Daddy, it's beautiful.” It was like being engaged to him. And now she knew no one could ever take her away from him. No one. Ever again.
“You're beautiful, sweetheart. And you're a very, very brave girl.” They were both thinking of the days in Mexico, but all of that was over now. They looked at each other, both thinking of Liz, and Bernie smiled at her, feeling in his heart of hearts that Jane Elizabeth Fine was truly his child now.
Chapter 34
For the first time in two years, Bernie took over the import lines again, and it was painful to go back to Paris and Rome and Milan without Liz. He remembered the first time he had taken Liz to Europe with him, and how excited she had been about the clothes she'd bought, the museums they'd visited, the lunches at Fouquet's and dinners at Lipp's and Maxim's, and it was all so different now. But this was also his bailiwick, and he fell rapidly back into step again. He felt as though he had been out of the mainstream for a long, long time. He felt more alive again after he had seen all the new ready-to-wear lines and spoken to his favorite couturiers. He knew exactly what was right for Wolffs that year, and when he stopped in New York on the way back, he and Paul Berman had a long quiet lunch at Le Veau d'Or and discussed all of Bernie's plans. He admired the way Bernie had handled everything, and he was looking forward to having him come home. No one suitable had turned up to take over for him at the San Francisco store, but he assumed that by year end Bernie would be back in New York.
“How does that fit in with your plans, Bernard?”
“All right, I suppose.” He didn't seem to care quite so much anymore and he had just sold his old apartment. It would have been too small for him now anyway. And the tenant he'd had for years had wanted to buy it. “I'll have to think about schools for Jane before we come back, but there's time for that.” He was no longer in a hurry. There was nothing to rush home for, and only the children and Nanny to bring with him.
“I'll let you know as soon as we have someone in mind.” It wasn't easy to find the right person for the job. He had spoken to two women and a man so far, but all of them were too limited. They didn't have Bernard's experience, or his sophisticated eye. And he didn't want the San Francisco branch turning into some dull provincial store. In Bernie's hands it was their biggest moneymaker, after the New York store, and Paul Berman liked that. And better than that, so did the Board of Directors.