She didn't love him at all. She was afraid of him.
I drew in my breath. She opened her eyes and held my gaze.
'What will you do?' I said, in a whisper.
'What can I do?' She shivered. 'He wants me. He has asked me. He means to make me his.'
'You might— say no.'
She blinked, as if she could not believe I had said it. I could not believe it, either.
'Say no to him?' she said slowly. 'Say no?' Then her look changed. 'And watch him leave, from my window? Or perhaps when he goes I shall be in my uncle's library, where the windows are all dark; and then I shan't see him leave at all. And then, and then— oh, Sue, don't you think I should wonder, over the life I might have had? Do you suppose another man will come visiting, that will want me half as much as he?
What choice have I?'
Her gaze, now, was so steady and so bare, I flinched from it. I did not answer for a moment, but turned and gazed down at the wood of the door we stood against, and the rusting chain that held it closed, and the padlock. The padlock is the simplest kind of lock. The worst are the kind that keep their business parts guarded. They are devils to crack. Mr Ibbs taught me that. I closed my eyes and saw his face; and then, Mrs 80
Sucksby's. Three thousand pounds— .' I drew in my breath, looked back to Maud, and said,
'Marry him, miss. Don't wait for your uncle's word. Mr Rivers loves you, and love won't harm a flea. You will learn to like him as you ought, in time. Till then go with him in secret, and do everything he says.'
For a second, she looked wretched— as if she might have been hoping I would say anything but that; but it was only for a second. Then her face grew clear. She said,
'I will. I'll do it. But, I can't go alone. You mustn't make me go with him, quite on my own. You must come with me. Say you will. Say you'll come and be my maid, in my new life, in London!'
I said I would. She gave a high, nervous laugh and then, from having wept and been so low, she grew almost giddy. She talked of the house that Gentleman had promised her; and of the fashions of London, that I would help her choose; and of the carriage she
would have. She said she would buy me handsome gowns. She said she wouldn't call me her maid then, but her companion. She said she would get me a maid of my own.
'For you know I shall be very rich,' she said simply, 'once I am married?'
She shivered and smiled and clutched at my arm, and then she drew me to her and put her head against mine. Her cheek was cool, and smooth as a pearl. Her hair was bright with beads of rainwater. I think she was weeping. But I did not pull away to try and find out. I did not want her to see my face. I think the look in my eyes must have been awful.
That afternoon she set out her paints and her painting, as usual; but the brushes and the colours stayed dry. Gentleman came to her parlour, walked quickly to her, and stood before her as if he longed to pull her to him but was afraid. He said her name— not Miss Lilly, but Maud. He said it in a quiet, fierce voice, and she quivered, and hesitated once, then nodded. He gave a great sigh, seized her hand and sank before her— I thought that was pushing it a bit, myself, and even she looked doubtful.
She said, 'No, not here!' and gazed quickly at me; and he, seeing her look, said, 'But we may be quite free, before Sue? You've told her? She knows all?' He turned to me with an awkward gesture of his head, as if it hurt his eyes to look at anything but her.
Ah, Sue,' he said, 'if you were ever a friend to your mistress, be her friend now! If you ever looked kindly on a pair of foolish lovers, look kindly on us!'
He gazed hard at me. I gazed hard back.
'She has promised to help us,' said Maud. 'But, Mr Rivers— '
'Oh, Maud,' he said at that. 'Do you mean to slight me?'
She lowered her head. She said, 'Richard, then.'
'That's better.'
He was still on his knee, with his face tilted upwards. She touched his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her hands, and then she drew them quickly back. She said,
'Sue will help us all she can. But we must be careful, Richard.'
He smiled and shook his head. He said,
'And you think, seeing me now, I shall never be that?' He rose and stepped from her.
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He said, 'Do you know how careful my love will make me? See here, look at my hands. Say there's a cobweb spun between them. It's my ambition. And at its centre there's a spider, of the colour of a jewel. The spider is you. This is how I shall bear you— so gently, so carefully and without jar, you shall not know you are being taken.'
He said that, with his white hands cupped; and then, as she gazed into the space between them, he spread his fingers and laughed. I turned away. When I looked at her again, he had taken her hands in his and was holding them loosely, before his heart.
She seemed a little easier. They sat, and talked in murmurs.
And I remembered all she had said at the graves, and how she had rubbed her palm. I thought, 'That was nothing, she has forgotten it now. Not love him, when he's so handsome and seems so kind?'
I thought, 'Of course she loves him.' I watched as he leaned to her and touched her and made her blush. I thought, 'Who wouldn't?'
Then he raised his head and caught my gaze and, stupidly, I blushed, too. He said,
'You know your duties, Sue. You've a careful eye. We shall be glad of that, in time.
But today— well, have you no other little business, that will take you elsewhere?'
He gestured with his eyes to the door of Maud's bedroom.
'There's a shilling in it for you,' he said, 'if you do.'
I almost stood. I almost went. So used had I got, to playing the servant. Then I saw Maud. The colour had quite gone from her face. She said, 'But suppose Margaret or one of the girls should come to the door?'
'Why should they do that?' said Gentleman. And if they do, what will they hear? We shall be perfectly silent. Then they will go again.' He smiled at me. 'Be kind, Sue,' he said slyly. 'Be kind, to lovers. Did you never have a sweetheart of your own?'
I might still have gone, before he said that. Now I thought suddenly, Who did he think he was? He might pretend to be a lord; he
was only a con-man. He had a snide ring on his finger, and all his coins were bad ones.
I knew more than he did about Maud's secrets. I slept beside her in her own bed. I had made her love me like a sister; he had made her afraid. I could turn her heart against him if I wanted to, like that! It was enough that he was going to marry her at last. It was enough that he could kiss her, whenever he liked. I wouldn't leave her now to be tugged about and made nervous. I thought, 'Damn you, I'll get my three thousand just the same!'
So I said, 'I shan't leave Miss Lilly. Her uncle wouldn't like it. And if Mrs Stiles was to hear of it, then I should lose my place.'
He looked at me and frowned. Maud did not look at me at all; but I knew she was grateful. She said gently,
After all, Richard, we shouldn't ask too much of Sue. We shall have time enough to be together, soon— shan't we?'
He said then that he supposed that that was true. They kept close before the fire, and after a while I went and sat and sewed beside the window and let them gaze at one another's faces undisturbed. I heard the hiss of his whispers, the rush of his breath as he laughed. But Maud was silent. And when he left, and took her hand and pressed it to his mouth, she trembled so hard, I thought back to all the times I had watched her 82
tremble before, and wondered how I had ever mistaken that trembling for love. Once the door was closed she stood at the glass, as she often did, studying her face. She stood there for a minute, then turned. She stepped very slowly and softly, from the glass to the sofa, from the sofa to the chair, from the chair to the window— she moved, in short, across the whole of the room, until she reached my side. She leaned to look at my work and her hair, in its net of velvet, brushed my own.