Liam had meant them himself, once upon a time. The difference was that Becky Gilbert had kept her vows.
"And," Becky Gilbert added, confirming Liam's previous thoughts, "at that time there was still enough of the preacher's wife in me to shudder at the thought of all the talk."
"You were afraid," he said, repeating her words.
"Yes." She said it without shame.
So was I, he thought. Afraid to leave, afraid to love, afraid to rock the boat.
"So I stayed with Richard."
And I with Jenny and Charlie. "And asked Bob and Laura not to give away your secret."
"Yes. She despises me for it," she added, sighing. "But Richard ordered me to keep it a secret. He said a pastor has to set an example, that we couldn't be seen to be condoning children born out of wedlock, it would send all the wrong messages to the young people in the church."
She folded her hands in her lap. "So I agreed to keep it a secret. She moved in with Bob, and everyone thought they were lovers. Bob wasn't interested in anyone but me"-again that flash of pride-"and Laura… well, I don't know if Laura is ever going to have a normal relationship with a man. She has been hurt so much. So that's the way we left it."
"Which was where things were when Bob died."
She nodded.
"Why did you kill Cecil Wolfe, Becky?"
She looked surprised. "Why, I've just told you. Laura Nanalook is my child. She is the child of my body, and of my heart. She is my only child. Mothers are supposed to look out for their children, protect them, keep them safe."
"You killed Cecil Wolfe to protect your daughter?"
"Yes. He raped her. He came into her home on the day her father died and he held her down on her own couch in her own living room and he raped her, he raped my baby girl." Her breast was heaving, her voice was rising, her hands had clenched into fists. "He hurt her, and he had hurt her before and he would have hurt her again. That's what he was. A hurter. A taker. A-a spoiler."
She closed her eyes and took one long, deep breath. "So I waited, and I watched. I've been following him off and on for the last two days. He was so big and so strong, and I-" An eloquent sweep of one hand indicated her small form. "I knew I had to be careful, that if I had any chance to do it successfully I had to take him by surprise, I had to catch him off guard." Her chin came up again. "I was real good at skinning when I was a kid, Mr. Campbell. I could strip a caribou of its hide faster than any other girl in the village, and faster than most of the boys. My father was real proud of me. He took me hunting a couple of times, even when the other elders said it wasn't right for girls to hunt. He even gave me my own knife."
"This knife?" Liam said, pointing at the bone-handled skinning knife, properly bagged in plastic by now.
She nodded. "Yes. That is the same knife. It's a good one; it holds an edge for a long time. My father gave it to me because I was so good at skinning."
"I don't doubt it, Becky," Liam said. "Tell me how you killed Cecil Wolfe."
"Oh, of course. I'm sorry; I know you need all this for my statement, don't you? And it is awfully late. What is it, one o'clock? My goodness, it's almost two o'clock in the morning-the sun will be coming up any minute." She smiled, and he couldn't help smiling back. "All right," she said briskly, "let's finish this story. Then you can put me in my cell and we can both get some sleep."
"Thank you," he said meekly.
"You're welcome," she said, waving a dismissing hand. "Like I said, ever since I learned what he did to my daughter, I've been watching Wolfe. I kept my knife with me all the time, and I was just waiting for the right opportunity." She spread her hands. "I was looking for him tonight, to see if he was back from herring fishing."
"Yeah," Liam said. "I didn't put it together at first, but I saw your station wagon parked in the lot when I came out of Bill's."
She nodded. "Yes, I was there. I went around the back and went into the kitchen. Bill's cook is a cousin of mine."
"I wondered where you were."
"When Wolfe left with that pilot-I can never remember her name; it sounds like it should have a question mark after it-I followed them down to the boat harbor. When I saw she didn't go down to his boat with him, I parked and went down the west gangway so she wouldn't see me."
Liam remembered getting lost on the way back from the Mary J. Two different entrances that doubled as two different exits. It was so easy when you knew your way around.
Becky ended her story with devastating simplicity. "And then I killed him." She pursed her lips a little. "I was horribly angry, and at the same time so completely without fear. His back was to me, and I slipped the knife in up under his ribs, straight for his heart. I must have missed it, though-humans and caribou are built different, I guess-because he turned around as he fell and saw me, and when I saw his face I just had to stab him again. And again. I just had to." She paused. "His blood was everywhere. All over the knife, all over me, all over the galley. I didn't care. It was what I had wanted-his blood on my hands. It was what I had come for."
Liam waited.
She looked up. "I bet I sound like a raving lunatic, don't I?" She smiled a little, an expression made up half of humor, half of resignation, containing neither regret nor bitterness. "Oh well. I don't imagine sanity matters much where I'm going."
Liam typed the statement on the post computer, printed it out, and had her read it and sign it. "Do you know any attorneys, Becky?" he said as he rose to his feet.
"I don't believe so. Unless you count the attorney the association board has on retainer."
"No. He-"
"She," she broke in.
"She, then; she'll be a corporate attorney and she most definitely won't do." He looked up a name in his personal address book, and scribbled it and a phone number down on a piece of paper. "Here. Call him in the morning."
She looked askance at the name and number. "Why? It's not like I need a lawyer to prove my innocence-I've already confessed." She added sternly, "I'm not fighting this, Mr. Campbell. You made me aware of my rights, and I confessed anyway. I did it. I'm glad I did it. I have no regrets and I will pretend to no remorse. My girl needed help, and for the first time in her life I came through for her. If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."
It hadn't occurred to her that she might have been of more use to Laura out of jail, and so held her hand, but she was so filled with righteous triumph that he knew pointing this out to her now would mean nothing.
Wife, mother, murderer. She was positively glowing with righteous wrath. If Patrick Fox could put that same glow on display to a jury, Becky Gilbert had a fighting chance at a reduced sentence, possibly even an acquittal. He had to admit, the prospect did not fill him with dismay.
He nodded at the scrap of paper. "You call him, and you tell him I gave you his number. You tell him every single thing you told me, and you let him decide what's best for you to do."
She fingered the paper uncertainly. "I don't have any money to pay a lawyer."
"Let him worry about that, too," he advised her. When she still looked hesitant he said, "Look, Becky, the judge will appoint you a lawyer anyway. This guy is going to be better than anyone you'll draw from the pro bono pool or the public defender's office, believe me."
Her face softened. "Don't look so worried," she chided him. "I'll call him. And I'll be fine."
She was comforting him, this woman who, not four hours before, had willfully, deliberately, and with malice aforethought taken a knife to a man in one of the most calculated and brutal murders Liam had ever seen. "I know you will," he said. "Let's head on over to the jail, shall we?" He opened the door for her and paused. "Becky?"