“Where’s all the other stuff?” she asked. “I thought they were rebuilding.”
“More like dismantling.”
They hurried to catch up to the others, but paused again at the second hangar. This one had a row of quads painted in military camouflage. There were big worktables, chain hoists from which unidentifiable engine parts hung, tool chests on rollers, and machine schematics taped to the walls. But again there was a flavor of disuse about it all. Like the work of repairing the machines had been abandoned. Weeks or even months ago.
“Where are all the soldiers?” asked Nix. “And the technicians? The monks said that there are more than two hundred people over here. We’ve seen maybe ten different soldiers and Captain Ledger. And three or four different voices in the interview air lock.”
“I don’t know, but it’s creeping me out,” Benny admitted. Nix nodded, but she looked more than creeped out. She looked deeply hurt by it.
“Let’s go,” he said, and they hurried off.
Joe and Grimm stopped at the entrance to the third hangar. The smaller door was open, but he stood in front of it.
“I know you kids have about a million questions about what’s going on over here,” he began.
“Maybe two million,” said Riot, “and that’s just me. Red over yonder’s been writing questions in that journal of hers, and she’s got every page filled, front and back.”
Nix nodded.
“I have a few hundred thousand just off the top of my head,” said Benny. “Any chance we’re actually going to get some answers?”
“There’s a lot going on that you don’t know about,” said Joe, “and a lot of it is classified.”
“Why?” asked Lilah sharply.
“Because the military likes to keep its business to itself.”
“Why?”
Joe smiled. “Because secrecy can become an addiction. That’s been a problem as long as people have tried to covet power for themselves. Sure, governments need to keep some secrets, but too often the people inside the government create for themselves the illusion that because they know things nobody else does, it makes them more powerful. That kind of thinking creates a kind of contempt for anyone on the outside. It’s born from a belief that their own power will diminish in direct proportion to the transparency of their actions. So secrets become the currency that buys them membership into a club so exclusive that their agendas are never shared, and the value of what they hold is measured only from a first-person perspective.” He paused. “Are you following me on this?”
“Yes,” said Benny.
“There’s more, though,” said Joe. “Greed and a feeling of inadequacy aren’t the only reasons people keep secrets. Sometimes they hide things — information, the truth, themselves — behind layers of secrecy simply because they’re afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” asked Lilah.
“You,” said Joe. “Everyone who held any kind of power, everyone who kept any secrets, everyone who was part of running the world before First Night is terrified of you kids.”
“Why us?” asked Nix.
“Not just you four — but your whole generation. You scare them to death.”
“But… why?” asked Benny.
“Three reasons,” said Joe, ticking them off on his fingers. “Because you want to know the truth. Because you’ll eventually learn the truth. And because you deserve to know the truth.”
Benny looked past him at the open door. “What truth, Joe?”
The ranger said nothing.
“The Reaper Plague,” Benny said softly. “There are all kinds of theories about how it started. A new virus…”
“Radiation from a returning space probe,” said Nix.
“The wrath of God,” added Riot.
“Something that was accidentally released from a lab,” said Lilah.
Benny closed his eyes. “None of that’s true, is it?”
When he opened his eyes, he saw a look of such deep sadness on Joe’s face that it made his heart hurt.
“Before First Night,” said the ranger, “I spent my entire adult life working for a government organization that did only one thing: We hunted down the kinds of people who wanted to see the world burn. Terrorists, religious extremists, actual mad scientists, governments that had gone off the rails. Time and time again I led good men and women into battle to stop the release of a doomsday weapon. I won every single time. I lost a lot of friends along the way. I even lost the first woman I truly loved. My body’s covered with scars from injuries taken in the line of duty. Me and my guys, we were sometimes all that stood between the world and the end of everything. Sounds grandiose, right? But that’s how it was.” He sighed.
“You failed,” said Lilah. She made a statement of it, harsh and naked.
He raised his hands as if indicating the whole world. “Some people kept their secrets a little too long and a little too well, and by the time my team knew about it, the devil was already off the leash.” He shook his head. “That’s not an apology, and it’s not an excuse. I want us to understand each other. I’m a ranger. I do not work for the American Nation. I work with them. There are some good people helping to build a new government. But there are some people who still hold on to the old ways. Their religion is the cult of secrecy, and they are every bit as dangerous as Saint John and the psychopaths running the Night Church.”
“Why tell us all this now?” asked Benny. “What aren’t you telling us?”
“Benny,” cautioned Nix, but Joe shook his head.
“He’s dead right, honey. When we go into that hangar, you’re stepping outside of the world you knew and into a bad slice of the old world. They’re going to want to push you around. They’re going to try and close you out of their vault of secrets. You’re civilians and you’re kids and they believe that you don’t matter.”
Joe removed the slips of paper they’d gotten from Sergeant Ortega. “This is a different kind of currency, and down on the level of reality and sense, it’s worth a lot more than the secrets the people on this base are holding.”
He handed them to Benny.
“I told them that you had information about where Dr. McReady might be. They want that information very badly. They think that it’s your obligation to simply hand it over. If you do, they’ll kick you right back onto the other side of the trench. Don’t let them. This is your world. It was always yours. We didn’t have the right to break it, and we shouldn’t be allowed to keep any more secrets.”
The four of them stood there in front of Joe Ledger, weighing his words, reading the implications. Grimm licked his jowls and watched them.
Finally Benny said, “The Reaper Plague was no accident, was it?”
“No,” said Joe in a ghost of a voice. “We made the monster and we let it out of its cage.”
“Deliberately?” asked Nix, aghast.
His eyes were filled with great sorrow. “You ever heard of Friedrich Nietzsche?”
Nix nodded and in a small voice said, “I was just thinking about that earlier. ‘Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.’ ”
“Exactly,” said Joe. “We stared into the abyss so long we liked what we saw. God forgive us all.”
CHAPTER 58
Joe turned and walked into the hangar. Grimm was right at his heels. Riot and Lilah exchanged a glance, then followed. Benny paused, touching Nix’s arm. He didn’t like the wild look in her eyes.
“You okay?”
“Oh, sure,” she said tightly. “I’m just fine. I shouldn’t even be surprised. After everything that’s gone on with Charlie and the Hammer, Preacher Jack, Mother Rose, Saint John… I don’t know why I don’t just give up on believing in people.”