“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t. You’ve been with Chief all day. I’m pleased you two get along so well, but unless the rest of us can prove we’re useful, they’ll never welcome us. And then how long will we last?”
“They want us here, Rose.”
She gave a wry smile. “Are you sure about that? Seems to me that only Chief really wants us.” She glanced at the dead fish in her mother’s hands. “If I can provide fish, we’ll be useful to them. We’ll be equals.”
“Our elements don’t work as well here.”
“So let’s combine—”
“No!” The word came out loud and scared. “If someone sees us—even if they suspect something—they’re going to panic.” I reached for her hand, but stopped myself. I was tense and it wouldn’t feel good to either of us. “Everything is going to be different here. We’re more than our elements.”
“No, Thomas. You are more than an element.” She lifted her hands and watched the water drain between her fingers. “But I’m not.”
Suddenly I saw the scene through her eyes. We’d left a small, familiar colony on an expansive island for a large, strange colony in a tiny fort. Her father was dead. And now I was forcing her to give up the very thing that had always made her indispensible.
“I’m sorry, Rose,” I said quietly. “We’ll make this work, though. I promise.”
She kept her eyes closed and gave a slight nod. I couldn’t tell whether she was agreeing with me, or simply giving up fighting.
It was only then that I became aware of Marin, still standing behind us. “Rose stopped listening to her father when he was on his deathbed. But it seems she listens to you, Thomas.” She gripped the fish tightly, face twisted in contempt. “I hope you’ll offer her sage advice now that she no longer has any use for mine.”
CHAPTER 15
I hadn’t meant to fall asleep. I’d just wanted to take a portion of food to my father. One moment, I was leaning over his bunk—one of only three beds in the room—listening to the steady in-and-out of his breathing, the next I was dreaming of pirates and Plague, Fort Sumter’s imposing walls and Kell’s crossbow.
It was a relief when Rose shook me awake. “Thomas, come,” she whispered.
I stumbled across the room after her, hoping I wouldn’t wake anyone. It was dark outside and the parade grounds were empty. Rose crouched down and pointed toward the harbor. A faint glow was coming from one of our ship’s portholes.
“Who’d want to check it out in the middle of the night?” she asked.
I didn’t have an answer for that.
“Come on.” She took my hand. “We need to find out what’s going on.”
“Wait. Not without help.”
“You mean, more people to make noise.” She gave a dismissive snort. “I say we go alone. I’m the strongest swimmer here.”
“But your element’s not the same—”
“I don’t think I’ve forgotten how to swim, thanks.” Rose let go of my hand. “You said I couldn’t use my element anymore, not that I couldn’t do anything at all.”
“I just figure we could use some help.”
“You mean Alice, don’t you? Have you even seen her since this morning?”
I shook my head.
“She’s not herself, Thomas. She was crying earlier. Ananias was holding her. They’re not ready for this new world. They haven’t let go of the old one yet.”
“And you have, I suppose?”
Rose stared at the ship again. “If you and my mother won’t let me be who I was, then at least let me decide who I’m going to be from now on.”
She padded along the walkway toward the steps. She didn’t even stop to see if I was following. When she got to the bottom, she headed for the main gate. No one was around to see her, and no one would be around to make sure she returned safely.
Muttering a curse, I kept my footsteps light and quiet and followed her.
Outside the main gate, the harbor wind felt fresh. It took the edge off the stifling, humid evening. Rose stood at the end of the jetty, watching the ship.
“What happens if it’s someone we don’t know?” I asked.
“I’m certain it’s someone we don’t know. But then, I’d like to know what they’re doing on our ship.”
She dangled her legs over the side of the jetty. So did I. Before she could slip into the water, though, I touched her arm. “Why are you doing this, Rose?”
She looked confused. “Don’t you want to know who’s out there?”
“That’s not what I mean.” I ran my foot through the water. “What you said just now . . . about deciding who you want to be from now on. What do you mean?”
She breathed in and out slowly. “Look, I never much liked Alice,” she began. “I always thought she made easy tasks complicated. If a Guardian said one thing, Alice would want to do the opposite. I thought . . . if only she’d be more like me, her life would be so much simpler.”
“But not anymore.”
She shook her head. “I made it possible for my father to lie to us, Thomas. Me. If I’d questioned him, argued . . . things might’ve turned out differently. Maybe we’d hate our parents. Maybe we’d want to escape from Hatteras. But at least we’d know who we really are.” She found my hand and squeezed it. “From now on, I want to know the truth. I want to search for it, and if that means taking risks, then I’ll live with it. Because then I’ll know I’m alive. I’ll know it’s all real.”
She slipped into the water fully clothed and waited for me to join her.
The truth is, I already knew it was real. I’d known it from the moment the pirates burned down our colony.
I slipped into the water too. I couldn’t leave my tunic behind on the jetty in case someone found it. My clothes stuck to my sides, heavy and cumbersome.
“Ready?” she asked.
“Ready.”
Even without the full use of her element, Rose swam faster than me, the water sliding around her with only a slight ripple. It was a clear night and the ship appeared larger than ever as we neared it. The only sound was the water as it lapped against the curving wooden hull.
Rose waited for me beside the ship. We climbed the rope ladder, careful not to let it bat against the hull and alert the intruder. At the top of the ladder, I swung a leg over the rail and planted one foot noiselessly on the deck. I remembered that some of the planks in the middle of the deck squeaked, so I chose a long route to the stairway.
We took the stairs below deck on all fours. My heart was pounding—not just because of the intruder, still moving about in the nearby cabin, but also the memories of everything that had happened on the ship. As if she sensed it, Rose reached out and touched me, fingers glancing my bare arm.
The sounds coming from the cabin had stopped now. For a few moments, there was silence. I held my breath, wondering who it was, and how they’d react to being found.
The movements started again.
I shuffled forward, hugging the wall. When I got to the doorway, I took a deep breath and peered around the corner.
Jerren sat against the far wall, eyes fixed on the door. “I thought you were going to wait out there all night,” he said.
Rose and I entered the cabin. A tiny lantern rested on the floor.
“Lantern’s waterproof,” he explained. “My most valuable possession. They let me plug it into the solar panels once a month. When the charge runs out, I have to wait until the next month for it to work again. Better hope it doesn’t happen now, or we’ll be in the dark.”
Tessa had explained solar panels to me, but I still didn’t understand the concept of an object absorbing and retaining energy. I wasn’t about to ask, either. “What are you doing here, Jerren?”