Выбрать главу

A WELCOME AND A WARNING

Actually, this could be a warning or an apology. It really depends on you.

If you’re just browsing—flipping through pages, scrolling down screens prior to purchase—I’ve caught you in time. Be warned that there isn’t one book between these covers, but two: Blindsight and Echopraxia, bundled into an omnibus Collector’s Edition to commemorate their first appearance from a UK publisher.

It’s actually a nice change to be able to deliver this kind of message. The last time I found myself in this position I was telling people not that their purchase contained two novels, but half of one—and that they’d have to pay the price of a second hardcover if they wanted to see how the story ended. (My US publisher has an unfortunate habit of splitting novels into multiple volumes, dropping each bleeding body part onto an unsuspecting public without telling them it’s not a complete product.) This is definitely the better option. Still, Blindsight has been out for a while now—it was first released in 2006—so if you’ve already read it, half this ticket price will be for words you’ve already seen. You might reasonably bristle at the prospect of having to pay for something you’ve already read, just to get your hands on something you haven’t.

If that’s the case, never fear; a standalone edition of Echopraxia will be hitting the stands in a few months. Of course, waiting that long means you won’t be the first on your block to read it (unless this omnibus tanks, in which case maybe you will), but at least you’ll have that much more opportunity to read the reviews and decide if you even want to. The upside of delayed gratification is reduced risk.

So that’s the deal, and that’s the choice. But only if you haven’t bought this yet. If you have—if you’re sitting in your favorite reading chair, having just torn open your freshly-bought copy of this new Firefall novel that you’d somehow never heard of until you spied it in the local bookstore, only to realize Wait a second, I’ve fucking read this already—all I can say is, sorry. I tried to warn you. But you do have both novels now, in a spiffy omnibus format for the ages, adorned with cool new art that I myself had a hand in constructing. Those spaceships? I made them myself.

Hopefully that might count for something.

—Peter Watts, July 2014

BLINDSIGHT

For Lisa

If we’re not in pain, we’re not alive.

THIS IS WHAT FASCINATES ME MOST IN EXISTENCE: THE PECULIAR NECESSITY OF IMAGINING IS, IN FACT, REAL.

—PHILIP GOUREVITCH

YOU WILL DIE LIKE A DOG FOR NO GOOD REASON.

—ERNEST HEMINGWAY

PROLOGUE

TRY TO TOUCH THE PAST. TRY TO DEAL WITH THE PAST. IT’S NOT REAL. IT’S JUST A DREAM.

—TED BUNDY

IT DIDN’T START out here. Not with the scramblers or Rorschach, not with Big Ben or Theseus or the vampires. Most people would say it started with the Fireflies, but they’d be wrong. It ended with all those things.

For me, it began with Robert Paglino.

At the age of eight, he was my best and only friend. We were fellow outcasts, bound by complementary misfortune. Mine was developmental. His was genetic: an uncontrolled genotype that left him predisposed to nearsightedness, acne, and (as it later turned out) a susceptibility to narcotics. His parents had never had him optimized. Those few TwenCen relics who still believed in God also held that one shouldn’t try to improve upon His handiwork. So although both of us could have been repaired, only one of us had been.

I arrived at the playground to find Pag the center of attention for some half-dozen kids, those lucky few in front punching him in the head, the others making do with taunts of mongrel and polly while waiting their turn. I watched him raise his arms, almost hesitantly, to ward off the worst of the blows. I could see into his head better than I could see into my own; he was scared that his attackers might think those hands were coming up to hit back, that they’d read it as an act of defiance and hurt him even more. Even then, at the tender age of eight and with half my mind gone, I was becoming a superlative observer.

But I didn’t know what to do.

I hadn’t seen much of Pag lately. I was pretty sure he’d been avoiding me. Still, when your best friend’s in trouble you help out, right? Even if the odds are impossible—and how many eight-year-olds would go up against six bigger kids for a sandbox buddy?—at least you call for backup. Flag a sentry. Something.

I just stood there. I didn’t even especially want to help him.

That didn’t make sense. Even if he hadn’t been my best friend, I should at least have empathized. I’d suffered less than Pag in the way of overt violence; my seizures tended to keep the other kids at a distance, scared them even as they incapacitated me. Still. I was no stranger to the taunts and insults, or the foot that appears from nowhere to trip you up en route from A to B. I knew how that felt.

Or I had, once.

But that part of me had been cut out along with the bad wiring. I was still working up the algorithms to get it back, still learning by observation. Pack animals always tear apart the weaklings in their midst. Every child knows that much instinctively. Maybe I should just let that process unfold, maybe I shouldn’t try to mess with nature. Then again, Pag’s parents hadn’t messed with nature, and look what it got them: a son curled up in the dirt while a bunch of engineered superboys kicked in his ribs.

In the end, propaganda worked where empathy failed. Back then I didn’t so much think as observe, didn’t deduce so much as remember—and what I remembered was a thousand inspirational stories lauding anyone who ever stuck up for the underdog.

So I picked up a rock the size of my fist and hit two of Pag’s assailants across the backs of their heads before anyone even knew I was in the game.

A third, turning to face the new threat, took a blow to the face that audibly crunched the bones of his cheek. I remember wondering why I didn’t take any satisfaction from that sound, why it meant nothing beyond the fact I had one less opponent to worry about.

The rest of them ran at the sight of blood. One of the braver promised me I was dead, shouted “Fucking zombie!” over his shoulder as he disappeared around the corner.

Three decades it took, to see the irony in that remark.

Two of the enemy twitched at my feet. I kicked one in the head until it stopped moving, turned to the other. Something grabbed my arm and I swung without thinking, without looking until Pag yelped and ducked out of reach.

“Oh,” I said. “Sorry.”

One thing lay motionless. The other moaned and held its head and curled up in a ball.

“Oh shit,” Pag panted. Blood coursed unheeded from his nose and splattered down his shirt. His cheek was turning blue and yellow. “Oh shit oh shit oh shit…

I thought of something to say. “You all right?”