And he did not. A pit opened at his feet, to take in all his understanding.
"Well," she said, "at least thee is still here."
He nodded, knowing nothing to say.
"Thee surprises me sometimes, Vanye."
And when he still found no answer, she shook her head and turned away across the little shelter, her arms folded tightly, her head bowed. "Of course you came to that conclusion; there was nothing else you could think. Doubtless Roh himself believes it. And for whatever small damage it could do-Vanye, I beg you keep it to your knowledge, no one else's. I am not qhal.But what I am no longer has any meaning, not in this age. Not in Shathan. It no longer matters."
"Liyo-"
"I would not have you believing that I knew Roh's nature. I would not have you thinking I sent you against him, knowing that. I did not. I did not,Vanye."
"Now you have rne between two oaths. Oh Heaven, liyo.I was thinking of Roh's life, and now I am afraid of winning it. I do not… I swear I do not try to pull against your good sense. I do not want that. Liyo,protect yourself. I should never have questioned you; this is not how I would have persuaded you. Do not listen to me."
"I know my own mind. Do not shoulder everything." She tossed her head back, thin-lipped, and looked at him. "This is Nehmin. Yon will see it as I have seen it; I am not anxious to spill blood in this place. We are far from Andur-Kursh… far from every grudge it had… and I pity him. I pity him, even as Liell-though that is harder: I knew his victims. Give me time to think. Go to sleep a while. Please. There is at least something of the night left, and you look so tired."
"Aye," he agreed, though it was less for weariness than that he would not dispute her, not now.
She gave him the mat by the east wall, her own. He lay down there with no real desire of sleep; but the ease it gave sent a sudden heaviness on him, so that he cared not evento move. She drew the blanket farther, over him, and sat on the mat beside him, leaned there against the post, her hand over his. He shivered for no reason-if he had taken a chill he was too numb to feel it. He let his breath go, flexed his fingers against hers, enclosed them.
Then he slept, a hard, swift darkness.
Chapter Fifteen
She was gone in the morning. There was food there, milk and bread and butter, and slices of cold meat. Written in a dab of butter on the side of the pitcher was a Kurshin symbol, the glyph that began Morgaine.
Safe,she meant. He ate, more than he had thought he could; and there was water heated for him over the coals. He bathed, and shaved… with his own razor, for his personal kit was there: they had recovered it from Mai, surely; and his bow was laid there with his armor, and other things that he had thought forever lost. He was glad-and dismayed, to think that they might have risked themselves, she and Lellin and Sezar, to recover them.
But her own weapons were still standing in the corner, and it began to trouble him that she stayed so long, unarmed. He went outside, unarmored, to see whether she was in sight: Siptah was gone too, though the harness was not.
Then a movement caught his eye, and he saw her coming back, riding down the slope, bareback on the gray horse, a strange figure in her white garments. She slid down and wrapped the tether-line over a branch, for she had been riding with only the halter. Her face had held a worried look for an instant; but she put on a different face when she looked up at him… he saw it and answered it with a faint smile, quickly shed.
"We have a little trouble from the outside this morning," she said. "They are trying us."
"Is that the way to go looking for it?" He had not meant his voice to be so sharp, but she shrugged and took no affront. The frown came back to her eyes, and they fixed beyond, back the way she had come.
He looked. Three arrhahad followed her, and a Man walked with them, a tall man in green and brown, coming from the shadow of the trees.
It was Roh.
They brought him to the front of the shelter and stopped: they laid no hand on Roh in their bringing him, but he had no weapons either. "Thank you," Morgaine told the arrha,dismissing them; but they withdrew only as far as the rocks near the shelter.
And Roh bowed, as lord visiting hall-lord, with weary irony.
"Come inside," Morgaine bade him.
Roh came, passed the curtain which Vanye held aside for him. His face was pale, unshaven-and afraid, although he tried not to show it. He did not look as if he had slept.
"Sit down," Morgaine invited him, herself settling to the mat by the brazier, and Roh did so on the opposite side, crosslegged. Vanye sank down on his heels at Morgaine's shoulder, an ilin'splace, which said what it might to Roh. Changeling,he thought uneasily, for the sword was unattended in the corner, and Morgaine unarmed: he had at least placed himself as a barrier between Roh and that.
"Chya Roh," Morgaine said softly. "Are you well?"
A muscle jerked in Roh's jaw. "Well enough."
"It took me some argument to bring you here. The arrhawere minded otherwise."
"You usually obtain what you want."
"Vanye did speak for you-and well.. None could be more persuasive with me. But counting all that-and my gratitude for your help to him, Chya Roh i Chya-are we other than enemies? Roh or Liell, you have no love for me. You hate me bitterly. That was so in Ra-koris. Are you the kind of man who can change his mind that thoroughly?"
"I hoped you would be dead."
"Ah. Truth from you. That does surprise me. And then what would you?"
"The same that I did. I would have stayed…" His eyes shifted to Vanye's and locked, and his voice changed. "I would have stayed with you and tried to reason with you. But… that is not how it came out, is it, cousin?"
"And now?" Morgaine asked.
Roh gave a haggard grin, made a loose gesture of the hands. "My situation is rather grim, is it not? Of course I offer you my service. I should be mad not to. I do not think that you have any intention of accepting; you are hearing me now to satisfy my cousin's sensibilities; and I am talking to you because I have nothing left to do."
"Because Merir and the arrhaturned a deaf ear to you last night?"
Roh blinked dazedly. "Well, you did not expect me not to try that, did you?"
"Of course not. Now what else will you try? Harm Vanye, who trusts you? Perhaps you would not; I almost believe that. But me you never loved, not in any shape you have worn. When you were Zri you betrayed your king, your clan, all those men… when you were Liell, you drowned children, and made of Leth such a plague-spot, such a sink of deprav-ity-"
Terror shot into Roh's eyes, horror. Morgaine stopped speaking, and Roh sat visibly shivering… gone, all pretense of cynicism. Vanye looked on him and hurt, and set his hand on Morgaine's shoulder, wishing her to let him be; but she did not regard it.
"You do not like it," she murmured. 'That is what Vanye said-that you had bad dreams."
"Cousin," Roh pleaded.
"I shall not call it back for you," she said. "Peace. Roh… Roh…I shall say nothing more of it. Be at peace."
Roh's hands, shaking, covered his face; he rested so a moment, white and sick, and she let him be. "Give him drink," she said. Vanye took the flask she indicated with a glance, and knelt and offered it to him. Roh took it with trembling hands, drank a little. When he was done, Vanye did not leave him, but held to his shoulder.
"Are you all right now?" Morgaine asked him. "Roh?" But he would not look at her. "I have done you more harm than I wished," she said. "Forgive me, Chya Roh."
He said nothing. She rose then, and took Changelingfrom the corner… withdrew from the shelter entirely.
Roh did not look at that, nor at anything. "I can kill him," he breathed between his teeth, and shuddered. "I can kill him. I can kill him."
For a moment it made no sense, the rambling of a madman; and then Vanye understood, and kept hold of him. "Cousin," he said in Roh's ear. "Roh. Stay with me. Stay with me."
Sanity returned after a moment Roh breathed hard and bowed his head against his knees.
"Roh, she will not do that again. She saw. She will not."
"I would be myself when I die. Can she not allow me that?"
"You will not die. I know her. I knowher. She would not."