“And he'll do it?”
“It works for me.” He held up his hand as she opened her lips. “Yeah, I know. It has to work for you.”
“And I can't practice on anyone, dammit. I can't go into anyone but Trask.”
“You can go into me.”
“And there's no way you'd let anyone control you.”
“It's all I can offer. It's a pretty big concession for me.”
She sighed. “Okay, I'll try.”
“At least you'll get the basics. But don't get impatient if you don't have a breakthrough right away. Concentrate and pretend there's a wall before you and you have to chip away at it to get to the other side. . . .”
I told you that it wasn't going to be easy,” Silver said. “We might as well stop for now.”
The lake and field disappeared in darkness.
She opened her eyes to see Silver sitting beside her bed. “Why didn't it work?” Her hands clenched into fists. “I tried so hard.”
“Maybe too hard.” He stood up. “We'll try again tomorrow.”
“You want me to keep chipping away at that imaginary wall?” She grimaced. “I feel like blowing it up. Was there any progress at all?”
“A little.” He smiled. “I could feel you plugging away at it.” He headed for the door. “As I said, we'll try again after you get some sleep. You need the rest.”
“What time is it?”
“Three forty-five in the morning.” He glanced back over his shoulder. “You'll find you're pretty exhausted. Sleep late.”
She shook her head. “I'm wide awake.”
“You'll wind down soon. It will be like pulling a plug out of a dam.”
She made a face. “You're just full of similes tonight. Walls and now dams.”
“I'll try to be more original in the future. Good night.”
“No, I want to try again. I can do it. I know I can do it.” She added hurriedly as she saw he was going to refuse, “Just one more time. Please.”
“You're relentless.” His lips lifted in a half smile. “Okay, once more.”
She was in!
“Congratulations. Now find the path.”
“Don't nag me. I'm still getting used to—”
What?
Shadows.
“You're not like Trask. I can't feel what you're feeling. You're . . . hidden.”
“I know. That's exactly the way I like it. Do what you can, learn what you can. Now, find the path.”
“I can't see anything.”
“Feel it. Concentrate. You wanted this. Now, see it through.”
“Stop barking at me. I can't help it if I'm intruding where I'm not wanted. Well, maybe I can, but you deserve it. Now you see how it feels.”
He was silent. “You're right. I deserve it. But that won't keep me from bitching.”
“Obviously.”
“So get your ass in gear and find that path.”
I didn't do it, did I?” She got out of bed and walked over to the window. “I found your damn path and I settled into your damn influence center and zilch.”
“I warned you it might not work with me.”
“It might if you'd lowered your blasted protective barriers just a little. Would that have been too much to ask?”
“Yes. I gave you all I could.” He was silent a moment, his gaze on her tense back. “You've learned a lot, and you'll learn more with practice.”
“But I don't know if it will work with Trask. Maybe he'll know I'm there. Maybe I won't be able to find my way through that cesspool of a mind. Maybe when I thought I was pushing with you, it wasn't happening.”
“You were pushing.”
“How much? Enough?”
“I don't know.”
“Neither do I. It's like stumbling in the dark, and I won't be sure until I run into Trask.”
“That's what I've been trying to tell you.” He headed for the door. “And now I'm going to bed. You may not realize it, but you wore me out.”
“Yeah, keeping me from seeing anything, keeping me from making a dent, you secretive bastard.”
“I'm glad you're beginning to understand me so well. See you after you've had some sleep.”
She watched the door close behind him.
Loneliness.
Jesus, it wasn't bad enough that she felt a sense of desolation when they separated mentally. Now she was feeling physically lost when he wasn't in the same room.
Get over it. It was all a part of this damn togetherness. Or if she couldn't get over it, just ride with it until she could bow out of his life.
Loneliness.
Pretend it was another wall to overcome. Chip away, and maybe she'd be better at pushing the loneliness away than she was at being on the attack.
But there was no way she was going to be able to sleep right now. She'd done too much, and too little. So much for winding down. She felt as tense and strung out as a dope addict trying to go cold turkey. Hell, perhaps that merging between them was addictive. She'd become aware that the time she spent with Silver by the lake was lazily seductive, almost sensual in its beauty.
Because he wanted it that way for her.
Stop thinking about him. He was already dominating too much of her life. Take a shower and relax.
She turned and headed for the bathroom. That was the right idea. A hot shower and she'd be fine. She'd be able to go to sleep and practice the control Silver had given her to push away all thought of him.
She was out of the shower and drying off when her phone rang. She froze. It was after four in the morning. Jason?
She hurriedly wrapped her towel around herself and ran out of the bathroom to pick up her cell phone on the night table.
“You sound very alert for this hour of the morning. Am I keeping you awake, Kerry?”
Not Jason. The man's voice wasn't familiar. It was deep, smooth, every syllable precisely enunciated. “Who is this?”
“I believe you can guess. No, that's a childish game, and we're not children. This is James Trask.”
Shock ripped through her.
“You're not speaking,” Trask said. “Don't you believe it's me?”
“Yes.” She had to steady her voice. “What do you want, Trask?”
“I thought it was time we talked. I've been thinking about you a good deal lately.”
“I can imagine. You're probably salivating over the idea of incinerating me like you did Joyce Fairchild.”
“Oh, I'm way past that stage. I admit that was my first impulse. I was very annoyed that you managed to escape when I set Firestorm loose on you in Macon.”
“My sister-in-law didn't escape. Her baby died.”
“Do you expect me to regret that? They were in the way.” He paused. “It's really your fault the baby died. You shouldn't have teamed up with Silver.”
“And that's your excuse?”
“I don't make excuses. I'm just commenting.”
His voice was casual, without expression, and she had to take a moment to smother the flare of anger. “Why did you call?”
“I wanted to hear your voice. I've been sitting here looking at your photograph and thinking how alike we are.”
“Bullshit.”
He chuckled. “You sound so indignant. But it's true, Kerry. Think about it.”
“You're a murderer. I don't have to think about it.”
“Is that supposed to make me angry? Murder is only a word. You could probably kill given the right circumstances. Can't you think of one?”
“No.”
“What if you were able to kill me?”